Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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As celebrity gossip bloggers, allow us to let you in on a little secret:

Often, talentless celebrities in need of money and attention will make a deal with the paparazzi. In exchange for seemingly candid photos, these photographers will arrive wherever the stars say they'll be, snap a few pictures and then sell those photos to the tabloids.

The celebrities in question, who have no shame and no means of making bank any other way, will then get a cut of the sale.

Meanwhile, in wholly unrelated news, Larry Birkhead took daughter Dannielynn to the farmer's market in Los Angeles yesterday. At least one paparazzi member just happened to also be on hand and Larry just happened to look up at all the right moments...

Time with Daughter, Photographer
  • Sliding for Attention
  • Dannielynn and Dad
  • Chilling with the Paparazzi
  • Not as Cute as It Seems
  • Not Bothered

From birthday parties to farmer's markets, photographers just won't leave Larry and Dannielynn alone!

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Following almost a full day in which the loved ones of Abby Sunderland feared this 16-year sailor was lost at sea, a search plane made contact with Sutherland last week and assured the world:

Abby is alive and well.

Reports indicate a giant wave knocked Abby unconscious for a short period of time on Thursday before she recovered and activiated a pair of emergency satellite beacons. Since then, a French fishing vessel has scooped up Sunderland and rescued her from the harsh conditions of the Indian Ocean.

Aboard this new boat, Sunderland found time to update her blog and wrote:

"As you probably already know I had a pretty rough couple of days. The long and short of it is one long wave, and one short mast (short meaning a two-inch stub).... I just wanted to let everyone know I am safe and sound on a great big fishing boat headed I am not exactly sure where."

Abby has spoken to her parents and the family is trying to figure out the most logistical way of getting her home to California.

In her blog entry, the teenager - who was attempting to become the youngest person to ever navigate the globe on a solo sail - also addressed critics who believed she was too young to take on such an adventure.

"The truth is, I was in a storm and you don't sail through the Indian Ocean without getting in at least one storm," she wrote. "Storms are part of the deal when [you] set out to sail around the world alone.

"Since when does age create gigantic waves and storms?"

You tell us, readers: Should Abby Sunderland ever have been on the ocean by herself in the first place?

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Late last week, Bruce Beresford-Redman showed up in court to fight for his late wife's estate.

But the most tense drama took place outside the courtroom, as the former television producer and accused murderer was confronted by Jeane Burgos, the sister of Monica Beresford-Redman.

Referring to the allegation that Bruce killed Monica on a Cancun vacation in April, Burgos screamed at him: "How could you do that to my sister?!?"

Added Monica's other sister: "Divine justice is going to get you!"

Witnesses say Bruce hear these insults, but ignored them. He was in court to respond to questions about a will he and his wife signed in 2008. Judge Mitchell Beckloff did not make a decision about it, however, and has scheduled another hearing for June 29.

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Our apologies to Holly Madison.

On Friday, we asked readers which premiere they were more likely to tune in for tonight: True Blood or Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami. Somehow, we forgot to include E!'s latest reality show in this discussion, Holly's World.

Hugh and His Women

It debuts this evening and stars Holly Madison, who says she's single and would love to someday raise a child in Las Vegas.

“I would much rather raise a family in Las Vegas than in L.A. First of all, when you live in Vegas, it’s very much like a small town with a really strong sense of community. And, Vegas is really strict. You can’t get into a club if you’re underage. You can’t drink or gamble if you’re underage," she told Fancast.

The show will focus on Holly's life in Sin City and include cameos by former naked pals Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt.

"There’s all kinds of drama,” Madison said. “It’s just us trying to achieve our goals and get things done, but a lot of drama. Fun stuff. I cry, oh yeah, absolutely. There are some moments where I lose it a little bit because things just get too busy some times.”

They might get busier if Holly's ultimate dream comes true. She says she'd love to run for Mayor "someday" and states one reason why:

"My favorite idea is to fix the way they do construction [in Las Vegas] because sometimes they leave a construction site up too long when they’re doing road work. They don’t finish it fast enough and it causes a lot of traffic problems."

Hear that, Vegas residents? Vote for Holly and solve your traffic problems! Also, probably see her topless a lot.

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For a little while this spring, Kellan Lutz and Ashley Greene were connected for all the wrong reasons:

There were rumors that the duo might be left out of Breaking Dawn. But new contracts were signed, concerned Twilight Saga fans let out a sigh of relief and these two stars went back to doing what they do best:

Looking hot!

Both Kellan and Ashley cover the latest issues of Men's Health and Women's Health, respectively. They each show off the bodies they've worked so hard to attain:

Men's Health Cover Pic

In her cover story, Greene takes a refreshing stance on weight gain, saying: "I don't want a child's body. I want a woman's body that is extremely fit. It's so much sexier. "

As for Lutz, he said it took him until an eighth grade graduation party to realize that his strong stomach was appealing: “Where I grew up in Arizona, you would never see anyone without a shirt on at school. But when I took off my shirt, all the girls were like, ‘Oh, look at your abs!’ And I was like, ‘Yeah!’”

Yeah, indeed! Drool over Kellan below, ladies:

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Thank you, Miley Cyrus.

Over the last couple weeks, THG has gone to great lengths to explain why we're so disappointed in your decision to become just another cliched pop star who tries way too hard to be provocative and edgy.

We've also called you out on your ridiculous, pompous attitude. Honestly, writing about you so often can be downright exhausting! That's why we're so grateful for your absurd comments to Access Hollywood this week.

They're so laughable, they require almost no editorializing on our part. We can just print your own words and leave it to your brain-washed fans to somehow defend them.

Attempt to Be Edgy

Miley on stage in a tiny tank top and short shorts is akin to Zac playing a high school basketball player for a movie role? DISCUSS!

Asked about the criticism her attire has faced, Miley told Billy Bush:

"I love Zac Efron, but what’s he selling? He’s gorgeous, he’s hot, I don’t go see his movie because I’m like, ‘He’s such a fantastic actor.’ He’s a great actor, but he’s hot.

"He’s just not in a leotard with his legs out. He has his shirt off. So what’s the difference? In High School Musical, he’s in basketball shorts and his cutoff tank top and all the girls are dying... It just isn’t as obvious when guys do it."

Yes, Miley Cyrus just said there's a double standard because she gets flak for wearing skimpy outfits on stage, while no one says anything negative about Zac Efron wearing a basketball jersey in a movie.

Miley then continued to make absolutely no sense, while simultaneously praising her own work ethic: "For girls, it’s always going to be harder. That’s not an excuse, it just means we have to work harder.”

WTF is she talking about? She has to work harder... for what? To be taken seriously as an artist? This is a crazy idea, but perhaps she should simply wear normal clothing, not simulate same-sex kisses and let her music speak for itself if she's concerned about her reputation.

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It's official: Breaking Dawn will be split into two movies.

But what will those movies be like? In a new interview with a French magazine, Robert Pattinson jokes about making them "totally hardcore" and "hav­ing to ban [the film] for peo­ple under 16.”

Don't worry, folks, he's kidding.

On Set

But the actor, seen above and below on the set of Water for Elephants, is serious about how much sexier this final installment of the Twilight Saga is when compared to the first three.

After all - SPOILER ALRERT!!! - Edward and Bella cross a major line in the book. Says Pattinson:

“It’s going to be inter­est­ing. The story goes in direc­tions so dif­fer­ent and I’m curi­ous what it will turn out like... We get mar­ried, sleep together... All the ten­sion from the three pre­vi­ous films is resolved in Break­ing Dawn.

"Can you imag­ine if they decided to go full out and Twi­light sud­denly became this totally hard­core series for adults with nude scenes?"

We're guessing all of THG's female readers could imagine that, yes. Do you ladies need some time alone right now?

Shooting Water for Elephants
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There are a couple interesting tidbits from the interview Megan Fox gives in the latest issue of Interview.

For starters, she talks to fellow actor Zach Galifanakis in it. For another thing... she cradles a naked mannequin, while donning a black bob, for an unusual photo spread in the magazine. See for yourself:

Strange Photo

Fox actually comes across as more mature and grounded than usual in the feature. Asked about her comparison of director Michael Bay to Hitler, she admitted:

“In the past, I’ve been reluctant to share any bits of truth about myself or to really let people in on my reality. So I have said some things to throw people off the scent of what’s really going on in my life. So I have sort of aided the media in printing these misconceptions, which I regret.”

The actress, of course, has been replaced in Transformers 3 by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. But many critics believe this will help Megan's career if she uses the opportunity to branch off and take on more layered roles.

She'll next appear in this summer's Jonah Hex.

Different Side of Megan
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Television viewers have quite the conundrum on Sunday night.

On one hand, they could watch a scary, scripted show about characters who will go to extreme lengths to get what they want - on the other, they could watch True Blood!

Disick and Kourtney

Indeed, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian return to take over Miami on their nauseating E! reality show, while HBO premieres season three of the most violent, suspenseful, sex-filled drama on TV. Which will you tune in for?

Perhaps this Tale of the Tape comparison can help you decide...

1. MAIN VILLAIN...
True Blood: Eric Northman.
Kourtney and Khloe: Scott Disick.
Edge: True Blood.

2. CHARACTER WE FEEL MOST SORRY FOR...
True Blood: Tara.
Kourtney and Khloe: Mason Dash.
Edge: Kourtney and Khloe.

3. RECURRING BEAUTY...
True Blood: The Queen of Louisiana.
Kourtney and Khloe: Kim Kardashian.
Edge: Kourtney and Khloe.

4. BEST BODY BELONGS TO...
True Blood: Ryan Kwanten.
Kourtney and Khloe: Kourtney.
Edge: True Blood.

5. MOST SCRIPTED FIGHT...
True Blood: Vampires vs. werewolves.
Kourtney and Khloe: THIS.
Edge: Kourtney and Khloe.

THE VERDICT: With a last-minute victory in the category of most scripted, outlandish scenario, Kourtney and Khloe pull the upset! They win this Tale of the Tape by a final score of 3-2. But True Blood characters can take comfort in this fact:

Many of them may wanna rip open our flesh, but we'd still prefer to hang out with them any day of the week.

Which season premiere will you watch?

 

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If there's one thing more digusting than the recently-released Danielle Staub sex tape photos... well, we can't think of it.

But if there's something that bothers us about celebrities across the board, it's when they throw themselves pity parties and/or present themselves in a phony manner. Just be true to who you are, people.

Danielle Staub Picture

In that regard, it was almost refreshing to listen to Staub basically admit she put her own sex tape out and not pretend as if it won't benefit her financially. Until a recent interview with Hollywood Life. Responding to accusations that she's behind the release of Danielle Staub Raw, the reality star said:

“I would never release my own sex tape. I would never do such a thing. I’m already in the media and we’re in season on the show, so why would I do something like this?”

Just a few gueses: more money? More attention? Because you're an insecure, pathetic excuse for a responsible mother?

Staub continued, telling the site: “I had a sexual relationship that was supposed to remain private. I was approached and I’ve been being blackmailed for quite some time and there’s NOTHING I could do to shut it down."

But... wait. Didn't you shut down the release of a previous video? It's called extortion, Danielle. There most definitely are legal steps you could take to prevent it.

“I feel like shit,” Staub concluded. “It bothers me, but I’m not ashamed. I’m a woman... I had a sexual relationship that was supposed to remain private and the fact that it’s not private shows the type of society this is. I’m not ashamed of my body or myself. I have thick skin."

Actually, based on the images that have surfaced, you have wrinky, unattractive skin. We really wish we didn't know that.

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