Free Britney

Free Britney

Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Actor / Jesus freak Stephen Baldwin (left), who has been promoting his new book, The Unusual Suspect, about his life as a born-again Christian, says he is here to save Tom Cruise from the evils of Scientology and talks about him frequently in discussions with the Almighty.

Stephen's brother, Alec Baldwin, is not quote so quick to condemn Cruise, though. In an upcoming GQ interview, he says everyone should lay off Tom because... well, at least he's not a terrorist.

Alec Baldwin on The Late Show

"I think what's been done to Tom is kind of silly," Alec said. "I don't really understand Tom's religious beliefs; nor do I want to. All I know is I don't see people who are disciples of Tom's faith driving planes into the World Trade Center. When Scientologists start crashing planes into the Pentagon, then I think we should sit Tom down and have a grand jury talk to him. In the meantime, let's just leave him alone."

Seriously, people! Lay off Tom Cruise! Have you no shame!?!

Touching on Stephen Baldwin again, apparently Cruise is not the only celeb he talks to God about, nor is he the only soul who needs rescuing. Here are a few of Steve's recent comments about other T.H. Gossip favorites:

-- Rosie O'Donnell, who likened radical Christians to radical Islam and to terrorists on The View last week: "It was a very provocative thing to say. My response is thank God for Christians, because that's a whole lot of people who are praying for her. I'm praying that, hopefully, at some point Rosie will experience the true loving spirit of Jesus Christ. I can also challenge her to a caged wrestling match."

-- Angelina Jolie and her baby's daddy, Brad Pitt: "He comes from Christian roots. I pray that he will do the right thing and marry that girl."

-- Hillary Clinton: "I pray that the spirit of God will come upon her and result in her having just a little bit more fun."

Wonder if he would endorse Oprah for President.

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The season premiere of The Oprah Winfrey Show started out with a bang... or at least a rich, non-gay talk show host having a hard time doing a simple everyday task.

To open the show, Oprah and BFF Gayle King embarked on a cross-country road trip, surprising unsuspecting Americans by dropping in unannounced at their weddings and other events. The toughest part of the trip for Oprah wasn't the rising price of gas... just the act of dispensing it into her vehicle.

Paris Hilton, Boy Toy

The Big O had to be helped out as she fumbled with the pump, saying "I haven't pumped gas since 1983."

Lucky for her, a good samaritan came to her rescue, demonstrating the right technique for fueling a car. It proved surprisingly easy.

Winfrey joined us in laughing at her expense, saying "I feel kind of stupid not being able to pump gas, but I thought, well maybe they've changed the pumps since I've last pumped."

Well, Oprah, we thought that our girlfriends weren't home when we were posting some pictures from Kristin Cavallari's MySpace page on our site yesterday. Sometimes, you're just dead wrong. It can get pretty ugly.

At the same time Oprah was bungling this simple task, on other side of this great country of ours, the awesome Paris Hilton unknowingly showed that hack how it's done.

Paris proved she's the pro at the pump -- one-handed, in high-heels and talking on the phone. What skillz!

And for her next trick, Paris will demonstrate tonight that she's also a pro at getting pumped by guys.

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The lovely Eva Longoria was swept off her feet by beau Tony Parker when he surprised her Monday on the L.A. set of her new film. Longoria is filming How I Met My Boyfriend's Dead Fiancée. With a title like that, how can it not be a winner!

Tony and Wife

The Desperate Housewives star has been moonlighting in the comedy as a ghost meddling in her living boyfriend's new relationship. Parker, of the NBA's San Antonio Spurs, plays basketball for a living. And dates Eva Longoria. What a lucky individual.

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He really is.

Fresh off a seriously lame retirement, the rapper hit the coast of Monaco with not one, but two ultra-expensive driving machines on Monday. Jay-Z rolled out the jet black Ferrari F430 and the silver Pagani Zonda for an upcoming video, presumably "Show Me What You Got." Check out some pics from the video shoot below.

Ronald Deaver Mug Shot

Jay's first solo album in three years, Kingdom Come, will be released on November 21. While his "surprise" return to music may have shocked the masses, music junkies saw it coming from miles away. Stars such as Kanye West and Pharrell Williams, Dr. Dre and Chris Martin all opened their mouths about being involved with the project. That's kind of a giveaway.

The $400,000 Pagani Zonda was apparently designed to resemble a naked body (presumably female), so it's no wonder that Beyonce's beau and the world's richest two-pump chump is rockin' that f-i-n-e set of wheels in his new video.

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At MTV, reality has always been a moving target.

More than 16 years ago, the network heralded the era of Reality TV with The Real World. Three years ago, it pushed the genre further with Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County, in which the mundane lives of a clique of pretty teenagers were presented in a way that appeared scripted and dramatic.

Now, the New York Times reports, the cable channel aims to push the boundaries of false reality one step further. This week, MTV will introduce Virtual Laguna Beach, an online service in which fans of the program can immerse themselves -- or at least can immerse digitized, three-dimensional characters, called avatars, that they control -- in cyber-versions of the show's familiar seaside hangouts.

The introduction of Virtual Laguna Beach is the first of three such worlds that MTV plans over the next year as part of an effort to steal a march on popular websites like MySpace and YouTube that have diverted the attention of the MTV audience.

The virtual Laguna Beach product will be making its debut two weeks after the abrupt dismissal of Tom Freston as chief executive of Viacom, MTV Networks' parent.

One reason given by Viacom chairman Sumner Redstone for axing Freston was that the company had not been aggressive enough in its online expansion.

Of the two other virtual worlds planned, VMTV is a music destination where visitors can club-hop among hip neighborhoods, buy music, watch videos, sing karaoke or even start their own bands. The third virtual destination, LogoWorld, an offshoot of Logo, the gay and lesbian cable channel, will be designed entirely by its participants.

Laguna Beach was an obvious choice for the first venture because it has a heavily female audience and because the show itself is such a blur of real, unreal and... well, sort of real. Fans know it's just layer upon layer of reality and fiction, and you can't tear yourself away.

Unfortunately, cast members from the television show's three seasons are not part of the planned online experience, although who knows -- maybe there will be some sort of Virtual Kristin Cavallari game released in the next year or two. We'd love to "play" that, if you know what we mean.

If you know what we mean, please tell us -- we have no idea. All we know is that Jason Wahler needs to get bitch slapped. What an ass.

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And we thought Kristin Cavallari's MySpace page was revealing.

It is. Very much so. We are grateful for it. But now the former Laguna Beach cutie is opening up to Blender magazine and giving us even more insight into her world. And what a sultry world it sounds like. Here's the transcript of her interview, in which she discusses how hot she is, among other things...

Kristin C. Pic

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Blender: Is it hot in here, or is it just you?
Kristin Cavallari: Oh, it's just me.

[T.H. Gossip Editor's Note: No $h!t.]

Blender: When's the first time you realized you were hot?
Kristin Cavallari: Same as any other girl, when we develop boobs and stuff. But I don't consider myself hot. I still feel like the same big dork I've always been.

Blender: At what age were you least hot?
Kristin Cavallari: Seventh grade. I had braces and really short hair. Definitely my awkward phase.

Blender: What's the downside of being so darn hot?
Kristin Cavallari: Since so many people know who I am and know my business, I can't get away with things I'd normally be able to. And I'm not 21, so going out can be a big issue. Then again, being hot can actually help with that problem, so it is good and bad.

Blender: What advice do you have for those who aspired to hotness?
Kristin Cavallari: Be yourself, don't care what other people think, have a lot of confidence. At least make it look like you have a lot of confidence. Pretend if you need to.

Blender: Who's on your personal hot list?
Kristin Cavallari: I've always loved the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and their new album's great for summer... Johnny Depp... French bulldog... and TiVo! I know I'm behind on that one, but I just got it.

Blender: Paris Hilton: hot or not?
Kristin Cavallari: Hot.

[T.H. Gossip Editor's Note: Weak.]

Blender: Cocaine?
Kristin Cavallari: Not.

Blender: Criss Angel, Mindfreak?
Kristin Cavallari: Hot... but not physically.

Blender: MTV's The Hills?
Kristin Cavallari: Not.

Blender: Hot Food?
Kristin Cavallari: Tuna tartar... although not literally.

Blender: Hot sexual position?
Kristin Cavallari: Depends on my mood, but girl-on-top... uh, is my dad gonna read this?

Blender: Hot schwag you bagged for free?
Kristin Cavallari: A $50,000 diamond ring from Sol Rafael -- they just gave it to me, and no, I'm not engaged.

Blender: Hottest of the celebrity babies?
Kristin Cavallari: Gwen Stefani's â€" I love her.

Blender: Hot prescription drug?
Kristin Cavallari: Adderall, although that's been around a while. I'm not saying I take it or anything.

Blender: What's your fallback plan for when you inevitably lose your hotness?
Kristin Cavallari: I hope that I'll be hot for a long time so I can make a lot of money and I can retire early and just travel. So, hopefully that will happen.

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In 26 years, that is. 2032, baby. Mark your calendars!

At least that's the assessment of the wannabe music critics and comedians at Blender magazine. In its October issue, the terrible publication estimates when "your favorite pop star" will kick the proverbial bucket.

31 and Proud

Taking into account Mr. Britney Spears' age, height, smoking habit, alleged love of alcohol, weed and reported foot odor, Federline is predicted to buy the proverbial farm at 55.

There's also the risk that scorned former lover Shar Jackson, twice K-Fed's baby's mama herself, will cap his ass.

Gerontologist Dr. Demko writes in the issue:

"Kevin Federline will also need the common sense to ditch smoking, booze and drugs, which will give him 16 more years to enjoy Britney's money and watch his four (and counting) kids grow up."

Or he can step up those bad habits and die sooner! That would be awesome -- we really don't feel like writing about this dude for 26 more years. Just kidding. It's fun. And we wouldn't really wish death on K-Fed.

His music career, however? Or Paris Hilton? That's a completely different ball game.

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T.H. Gossip has peeped Kristin Cavallari's MySpace page and, well, we feel as if we've entered an entirely different realm. A provocative, intimate realm. Ooooh.

I know she did her share of hooking up on Laguna Beach and everything, and we've come across our share of hot Kristin Cavallari pictures in our day (that day being every day, as we browse the World Wide Internets). But yikes. This MySpace photo spread makes sweet, fun-loving Kristin out to look like she is whoring it up pretty bad. Or trying to get sites like T.H. Gossip talking about her... in which case, mission accomplished. Go KC!

Kristin, Stacie Shop

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You know what they say about people looking like their pets? Well, that was probably meant in a cute way by whoever originally made the observation -- rather than to insinuate that both owner and pet looked gaunt, underfed and a little bit scary.

Here, the malnourished, skeletal Kate Bosworth unleashes a smile (but not companion Lila) on Friday in New York City, where she spent the week celebrating Olympus Fashion Week. Yikes. Looking kind of pale, Kate! At least Nicole Richie gives off the impression of eating before she goes back to her home and hurls.

Kate Bosworth and Michael Polish at Coachella

Lila has apparently been dieting right along with Kate, if you know what we're saying. We're saying she does not eat, and as a result, her poor canine pal likely hasn't had any biscuits since 2003. At least by now the poor thing has probably learned that begging is fruitless.

Dogs are smart.

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The lovely Nicole Richie is apparently trying to put eating disorder rumors to rest by chowing down in front of paparazzi. She doesn't stand a chance.

The celebutante was spotted out in Malibu, Calif., on Saturday with buddy Brody Jenner stuffing her face with a huge burger and sipping smoothies. This picture is kinda gross, so we apologize if you happen to lose your lunch while Nicole inhales hers.

Harlow and Mom

You're not fooling anyone, Richie. We know you vomited this back up within 45 minutes of the picture being taken! There's no masking eating disorders that obvious!

The petite heiress recently appeared on the Tyra Banks Show and revealed that she's hired a nutritionist and is trying to gain some weight. The Simple Life star expressed to Tyra how much stress the media attention on her body causes her, making it hard to gain weight.

Uh-huh. Sure thing babe. Keep on pukin'!

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