Free Britney

Free Britney

Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Looks like someone must be cracking the whip over at the Spears / Federline compound. Yup, Sean Preston has been barking at Dad to get a f*%king job!

Just kidding. Well, probably. But we do know this for sure: It's only been a few days since Britney and Kevin brought little Sutton Pierce home, and already, that hyper-fertile jackass K-Fed is hustling to pay for his share of the bills.

K-Fed and V-Prince

The Associated Press is now reporting what the Gossip brought you WEEKS AGO (way to go, you hacks): the white trash former back-up dancer has just signed with Five Star Vintage clothing to be the face of the company's holiday clothing line.

"He is a maverick, making his own choices when it comes to his music, his fashion and his celebrity. He is constantly in the public eye, which makes him a good spokesman for our line," a company spokesman said.

T.H. Gossip wasn't aware that "maverick" was synonymous with "deadbeat," but you learn something every day. Guess this means we should add wife beaters and track pants to our holiday shopping list. Along with a bottle of tequila and a sawed-off shotgun to put us out of our misery.

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This week in the real O.C., it was Cameron's birthday.

As the Laguna Beach player shopped for a new guitar that his parents were going to buy him, he chatted with his incoherent bud, Nick, about Tessa's annoying text messages.

Nick told him that Cam, who hooked up with Tessa on last week's show, was obviously just "shopping around for chicks," to which Cameron responded "Dude, what are you trying to say?"

Exactly, dog.

Season 2 hangers-on Jessica and Alex (a.k.a. Kristin Cavallari's friends who have yet to realize that they need to get a life and move on) met for lunch, where Jess 'fessed up that she was still hangin' with Cameron on a regular basis, even though he is still only in high school. Yes, Jessica, we can't imagine you hangin' with someone so immature.

Are you f*%king kidding me?

Cami, meanwhile, has a pow-wow with her friend Candance over Kyndra's "much older, on-again-off-again boyfriend," Tyler. The girls are sure Ty will end up breaking Kyndra's heart for the 573rd time, and the good friends that they are will have to say "we told you so."

Meanwhile, Kyndra heads to Tyler's house for a romantic backyard barbecue and Ty asks her if she wants to get back together. They seal the deal with some steamy kisses by the outdoor fireplace. Just so you know, Tyler could not be more creepy and unappealing, and if his stock couldn't drop any further, we see that he's pals with Jason Wahler. This guy eats it.

At Cameron's birthday bash, Cami and Jessica pretend to be friends for five minutes so they can rag on Kyndra and Tyler's doomed relationship. At the same time, the pair go out for dinner and argue when Kyndra brings up their age difference.

Tyler doesn't understand why she has to harp on the fact that he was 18 when they met and she was only 14. I mean, come on Kyndra. It's so not a big deal that he likes little girls. Geez!

Back at the party, Cameron and Jess were canoodling when Tessa shows up all ready to give the birthday boy some birthday lovin'. Obviously crushed, Tessa bails early. The next day she and Raquel commiserate on what a dog Cameron is, but Tessa calls him anyway to talk about their situation.

Then he dodges her call and leaves her waiting by the phone while he hangs at the beach with his buddies. We would have felt bad for her if we thought Cameron was any big loss... but really he's just the King of the Meatheads.

Mmmm. Steak.

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The war of words between Saddam Hussein Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger is heating up some more. Since their divorce in 2002, the stars have been involved in an ongoing custody battle over their daughter, Ireland.

In the October issue of GQ (in which he also made some interesting remarks about Tom Cruise), Baldwin unleashes a barrage of insults aimed at one of Basinger's lawyers, Judy Bogen (pictured, left).

Alec Baldwin on the Red Carpet

Specifically, he calls her a "300-pound homunculus whose face looks like a cross between a bulldog and a clenched fist. She's this hideously angry-looking woman. She'd snarl and hiss."

Basinger's retort: "I am appalled by the statements made by Alec Baldwin in GQ. I am sickened by the fact that somebody can speak this way about another human being. My lawyers, Judy Bogen and Neal Hersh, have done nothing but fight to protect my daughter and me from this vile behavior. After reading this article, everybody will finally see what I've known and experienced for many years."

People, people. Can't we all just get along? If Alec's brother, Stephen Baldwin, were here, he'd say the same thing... along with plenty of other inane things, such as how you will all rot in the fiery pits of hell unless you let him save your soul.

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Shar Jackson, the D-list actress best known for being Kevin Federline's first baby's mama, shared her tale of sorrow on a very special episode of The Dr. Keith Ablow Show. We're not sure what The Dr. Keith Ablow Show is or what network it's on, but if it's got Shar Jackson as its lead guest, it's gotta be headed for the cancellation bin within the next couple of months.

Jackson, who was knocked up with one of K-Fed's many offspring (that motherf--ker's boys swim!) when he dumped her for Britney Spears, talked about her pain of breaking up in the public eye.

Fat Kevin Federline and Victoria Prince

"My oldest daughter Cassie would come home from school in tears, everybody wanted to know, 'Mommy why did Kevin do this? Why this? Why that? People were teasing me,' That was the only part that just killed me," she said.

Shar also talks about her relationship with Britney, Federline's new wife and mother of two more of his kids, saying, "She's part of our extended family."

Shar does add, however, that she has not met their children.

"I keep my distance," she said.

As for what why she would expect anything more of K-Fed, or what the hell kind of name Shar is, or how it's pronounced, Shar had no comment.

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Free at last! Free at last!

Thank God almighty, former Britney Spears bodyguard and man servant, Perry Taylor (with Spears and spawn, pictured), a.k.a. the Manny, is free at last.

Britney Spears, Jason Trawick Shirtless

Apparently, the handsome youngster opted out of the second coming of Sean Preston (otherwise known as Sutton Pierce). That's right, he's got himself a new bitch to dote on, one with considerably fewer letters in his name. Yes, we are talking about Jude Law. His whole name is seven letters! How crazy is that!?

While Perry/Manny (left, with Jude) may be relieved to be off diaper duty for now, he may have new surprises coming his way. These jobs aren't always as glamorous as they're cracked up to be.

Helping Jude Law groom his metrosexual image all day long and following his girlfriend Sienna Miller as she shops at every store in New York City could turn out to be equally crappy.... even if it doesn't reek quite as bad.

However, he probably won't have to hear any of K-Fed's music, so there's nowhere to go but up.

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Cameron Diaz claims that she was assaulted "with a deadly weapon" by a photographer while she and boyfriend Justin Timberlake were returning from a party.

That weapon? His car!

Timberlake Wants to be Tiger

"Cameron was the victim of a possible assault with a deadly weapon. The deadly weapon was the car that the photographer was driving," LAPD officer, Marjan Mobasser, told Access Hollywood.

Early Tuesday, Diaz has filed a report to the police accusing the paparazzo of trying to hit her and Timberlake with his car.

"On Sept. 19, just after midnight, Cameron Diaz filed a report with the LAPD. The incident happened on the 1600 block of King Road in Hollywood," police officer April Harding said.

The report continues:

"Diaz and Justin Timberlake were leaving a friend's home when a photographer hiding in the bushes tried to take a photograph of her. They both then chased the photographer for a short distance. The photographer then got into his car and drove toward both (of) them, causing Diaz to jump out of the car's way. She felt the driver was trying to hit both of them, and so she filed the report. She's alleging assault with a deadly weapon, with a vehicle."

No arrests were made, however, and the LAPD currently has no suspects. An investigation into the matter is ongoing.

Continue Reading...

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In romance news, don't mistake Mary-Kate Olsen for a pushover just because she's an anorexic, scary-looking, alien-like stick-figure.

The itty-bitty former Full House star maintained what is being called a "tight grip" on her rocker-looking "date" while making the scene at NYC hotspot Bungalow 8 with sister Ashley on Thursday night, the New York Post.

Olsen Twins Look On

It seems Mary-Kate, who was reportedly seen getting up close and personal with Killers drummer Ronnie Vannucci a few days back, had good reason to be clingy. Trouble began brewing when Keith Richards' daughter, Alexandra, turned up and began eyeing MK's companion.

"[Mary-Kate] got into a huge fight with Alexandra and totally told her off," claims a witness, adding that the teeny teen twin "started full-on making out in territorial, 'this is my man' style."

Olsen has admitted she was crushed when Stavros Niarchos dumped her for Paris Hilton, and apparently doesn't want to get burned again.

Wow, Stavros Niarchos sure gets around... with the nastiest chicks on Earth.

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Dry humping -- it's not just for elementary school kids anymore.

The Sun has an interesting report from a certain rehab center where rocker Pete Doherty is spending his days, and where his ultra-thin fiancee, Kate Moss, recently paid a visit.

Kate Moss Baby Bump?

Apparently, Moss and Doherty shocked patients at The Priory this weekend by getting jiggy with it on the lawn.

The pair got so horny they were a moment away from having full-blown sex on a bench when they were admonished by some of the facility's employees. Kate and Pete realized they had been caught and cooled off. She began running around and he vanished. Presumably for a cold shower. Or some drugs -- the dude is all about 'em!

Considering that the posh rehab clinic contains people suffering from all kinds of sex addictions, plus problems with alcohol, drugs and fame, Kate and Pete must have been really going at it in order to get yelled at.

Best of all, there were groups of people attending a self-help group for the day. Because it was nice weather, their leader suggested they move things outside. During their session they noticed a celebrity couple being rather frisky on a bench... then the lawn. They were kissing and groping each other, with hands going up clothing and lots of groaning.

Classy! Get a room, you two!

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He's bringing ViolentAggressionBack.

The Hollywood Grind has some great pics of Justin Timberlake freaking out and threatening to go postal when spotted by some friendly photographers arriving at a party in the Hollywood Hills last night.

Mila and Justin Picture

His girlfriend, Cameron Diaz (who looks really rough in these pics, by the way) had to restrain him from trying to grab the Grind's cameras.

To make matters worse, the jackass proceeded to yell at these poor journalists to back off and to stop shooting pics, even though the scene was on public property (in the street).

Nice one, Justin! Good to see you think you're better than us!

Justin's mom, Cameron, Justin's cousin and business partner, Trace, and some of the rest of their entourage joined in and the photographer finally retreated. Apparently that wasn't good enough, as Camberlake has apparently filed a police report.

Wow, guys. Take a chill pill!

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New parents Britney Spears, 24, and hubby Kevin Federline, 28, brought home their second son to serious excitement in their families.

Federline's mom, Julie Bleak, told Us Weekly, "We are all so happy!"

Singing Not Required

Whether K-Fed's mom made this remark because little Sutton Pierce Federline is so darn cute, or because she learned her deadbeat, rapping-aspirant son has 26 more years to live, was not stated. And can we discuss the fact that K-Fed's mom's last name is Bleak? You couldn't make this stuff up.

The September 12 birth by C-section at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles "went really smoothly," says a source. A family insider says that when the singer checked out at midnight on September 14, she wore a beanie, rode in a wheelchair pushed by Federline and "held the baby in her arms."

Wow, a new mother cradling her newborn child in her arms? That's "really exciting, unusual news." Great "journalism," Us Weekly.

Although there were other occasions to celebrate that weekend -- son Sean Preston turned 1 on September 14, the Federlines' two-year anniversary was on the 18th -- the clan was reportedly really low-key.

"They stayed home," the source said. "A lot of bonding went on. Sean and Sutton get along great!"

Correct us if we're wrong, but Sutton has been alive for about a week. He'd get along with a ball of string at this point. Which reminds us, a ball of string surely has better career prospects than K-Fed. Ohhh!

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