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Free Britney

Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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According to our friends at TMZ, IT didn't take long for deadbeat father of three and aspiring rapper Kevin Federline to find a use for that new Black AmEx card that his wife got him.

K-Fed announced that, despite a career that has yet to amount to anything, he's started his own record label, Federation Records.

Fat Kevin Federline

And it should come as no surprise to anyone that Federation's first release will be K-Fed's own album, Playing With Fire.

Does anyone other than the Gossip find this incredibly weird? Is the only reason for this label's creation the fact that no established company will put its name on Federline's album? Just a theory.

Britney Spears, meanwhile, been spotted heading into the recording studio lately, but Kevin seems determined to beat her to the punch with his own hip-hop album. If you can't wait until October for release of Playing With Fire, you'll have to make do for the time being with Kevin's MySpace page and his live debut of "Lose Control," the first single from his upcoming CD, at the Teen Choice Awards on August 20.

He'll also be launching a new website on September 5, and a "Lose Control" video is supposed to come out sometime in early September as well. God help us.

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Want the inside scoop on the breakup between Laguna Beach alumni Lauren Conrad and boyfriend Jason Wahler?

You know, the one that happened sometime after the season finale of The Hills, but that wasn't shown on TV?

  • Douchenozzle
  • A Lauren Conrad Bikini Pic

Well, who better to deliver the news, albeit in disjointed, convoluted fashion, than Jason himself. On his MySpace blog, he details the rumors... the turmoil... the drama... the anguish... *sniff*

Frankly, MTV bad boy Jason (left) always struck the editors at THG as a bit of a drama queen, not a very good boyfriend to Lauren, and a self-centered meathead.

With circa 1996 frosted hair. But that's just us, and beside the point.

Here's excerpts from his blog, if you want to know Jason's take on LC, their breakup, and life in general.

If there's one thing we learned from it, it's that being rich does not necessarily guarantee you a good education in this country.

And that just because you write many paragraphs about something does not mean they contain anything useful. Note that below is the abridged version...

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"Alright so in the past week I've recieved [sic] tons of comments and emails saying things basically referring to Lauren & Mine's [sic] relationship. First and foremost its obviously non [sic] of your business, But theres been scandals/reports of people saying different things of why we broke up and so on....

... Let me first begin this by saying Lauren and I are not together anymore. The media has gotten the biggest kick out of it and so on. And as they seem to call it 'funny' I dont think its very funny myself... Their [sic] saying I went phycho [sic] and she broke it off with me, I was flirting with girls and so on... The next paragraph will explain the true and honest story.

... Starting around Mid/Late July after we got back from our trip, we just constantly started arguing. I'd call her and she'd be busy and couldn't talk, so she'd call me later and I didn't have time to talk. And that basically went on for about a week. Then when we finally found the time to be around each other, things just seemed to slowly drift apart.

... It's not that we didnt wanna be around each other, we just simply had nothing really to say. So withen [sic] the next week we hung out a couple times and every time we hung out it just got further and further apart to the part where it just looked like we didnt even know each other. So I basically went up to Laguna for the weekend and when I came back to Los Angeles things have just compleetly [sic] changed.

... Then all it took was me to say "so is this the end" and thats when the downpour came. We constantly fought and argued for about a week, until we just decided that we couldnt be together anymore, and our relationship just wasnt working. I was out at clubs partying, and she was doing the same and our trust for each other faded. Either way you put the relationship, it wasn't my fault, and it wasn't her fault. It just happened that way, and I'm sorry that it had too but it was the best for both of us.

... To be honest and truthfull [sic] saying goodbye to a relationship that had lasted to long with a person that I cared so much for, hurt more than anything. I would have given it all to make it work, but I put my best effort foreward [sic] and so did she and sometimes things just don't always work out the way you plan for them too.

... The only thing you can do is save their memories, keep them in your heart, and move on with your life. Which is exactly what I'm going to do. No matter what happens in life I'll always wish Lauren the best and I really hope she finds 'the one' I'm just sorry I wasnt it.

... As far as the future looks as of right now, there really isn't much of a chance for use to be together again. We're both moving foreward [sic], and hoping for the best. As of right now were just 'friends' were not good friends and were not enemys [sic].

... We dont ignore each other, but yet again we dont go out of our way to hang out. I still love her more than anything, she was my first true love. I wish her nothing but hapiness and success in life and her career.

... Maybey [sic] after the reading of this you will see me more than just 'laguna beaches [sic] bad boy' ... or at least id [sic] hope so."

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The 2007 Lingerie Bowl is months away, but one key player has already been placed on the Physically Unable to Perform list. Which is not un-ironic, considering her occupation.

Adult film goddess Jenna Jameson has reportedly been told she cannot play in the much-anticipated event for safety reasons. Her insurance provider fears the possibility of Jameson being injured in the event, which takes place somewhere during halftime of Super Bowl XLI. It features ladies in lingerie playing football. Badly. But come on. No one cares.

Jenna Jameson Purple Dress

Worried about the protecting the star's valuable assets, Jenna's life insurance company apparently doesn't want her lining up under center and calling for the ball(s).

We're not even sure where we were going with that one, but it sounds at least a little dirty, right? Nice.

Have no fear, fans. You will still get to see J-squared in all her glory... and underwear.

The XXX-rated "actress" will serve as the game's color commentator, decked out in alluring lingerie.

Jenna is currently separated from her husband, Jay Grdina, who aslo performs in adult films under the name Justin Sterling. Jenna is now dating former Jane's Addiction and Red Hot Chili Peppers guitarist Dave Navarro, who is currently divorcing wife Carmen Electra (who is not scheduled to play in the Lingerie Bowl either, disappointingly).

Neither Jenna, nor the Lingerie Bowl, nor Prince, who is presently slated to head up the Super Bowl's actual halftime entertainment, had comment.

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As we've said before, just when you think the life of Britney Spears can't get any weirder, the bar is once again raised. Or, as is more frequently the case these days, lowered.

The September issue of Esquire has named little Sean Preston Federline the "Worst Dressed Man in the World" on its annual Best and Worst Dressed Men lists. Personally, we feel this less an indictment of Sean P. and more of a slap at his mother. She's the one in charge of outfitting the little pip squeak!

Sean Preston Federline Finds a Bargain

And to think she wants to start her own clothing line. For kids. God help us all. Regarding Britney's less than stellar wardrobe choices for her son, who turns 1 next month, the magazine says the following:

"Being the offspring of a hyper fertile backup dancer and prematurely wilted flower is no excuse, but being 12 months almost is... As soon as you gain some dexterity, straighten out your hat."

Hyper fertile backup dancer? Prematurely wilted flower? We can't even try to complete with that at this time. It is Friday afternoon, after all.

But seriously, Sean. Straighten out the hat, will ya?

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It looks like Suri Cruise is real after all.

Okay, we're not willing to concede that. Not by a long shot.

Celebrity Mom and Daughter

Nevertheless, a couple of superstar friends of the Gossip, the venerable x17online.com and pinkisthenewblog.com, are doing some of the most stellar investigative work we've seen in an attempt to debunk the Suri myth. We're not sure how in the heck they got these pics, or if they're even real, but it is our duty to bring them to you just the same. After all, Hollywood news and rumors are two of the three things we promise our readers.

UPDATE: Suri Cruise is REAL!

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Brody Jenner says he's not sure how he feels about being single, and since he's only held that status for a day or so, we suppose that's understandable.

Then again, the guy used to date Kristin Cavallari (below), and now does not. So he's gotta be at least a little let down. I mean, look at the pic below. Where do you really go after that?

Bev. Hills Shopper

In any case, TMZ.com caught up with Brody Thursday, outside a Hollywood hot spot, and asked him how he is liking the single life. The two were reportedly back together as recently as late July, but Jenner confirmed to TMZ that they're done. The trucker-hat wearing stud insists that Kristin is "a great girl," the break-up is "private," and he's still not sure how he feels.

Jenner declined to comment on whether he will now pursue Lauren Conrad, Kristin's former high school classmate, Laguna Beach star and sworn enemy. We should note that he was never asked said question, but it sure would be some Gossip worthy material if he had been!

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Making a relationship work isn't easy.

Making a marriage work is even harder.

K-Fed Peeps His Phone

Making a marriage work when you're Britney Spears and Kevin Federline? That can be downright impossible.

With an 11-month old son, Sean Preston, the young Spears pregnant for a second time, and K-Fed headed out on tour, the couple's marriage is under serious strain. This isn't to say that the Federline family is headed to divorce court, but the pressure is definitely on.

Federline, in an interview with ContactMusic, said that since the couple spends very little time together, making it work is harder than ever.

"It's definitely going to be hard. It'll have to be worked at, but that's every relationship," a devoted K-Fed sed.

Despite the relationship suffering under the duress of his freeloading their careers, it's also seen a highlight in the past week. Sean Preston took his first steps earlier in the week, prompting pride from proud papa Federline, who spoke about it to the press.

"He's still figuring out the whole walking thing. He took his first steps the other day."

The marital troubles will be taking a back seat, though, as the couple are preparing to renew their vows. The story originally came out after Britney sat down for an interview with Matt Lauer, and now it is looking more and more like a reality. It's felt that the renewal of the wedding vows will give the couple a chance to celebrate their wedding more elaborately.

Their original wedding, back in 2004, was a rush wedding and held in secret with only 20-30, most of whom weren't aware they were going to a wedding until they arrived.

Regarding his career, Federline is ready for his bus tour, but doesn't want to do it alone. Apparently, Federline wants nothing more than to bring a pregnant Britney Spears and a now-walking Sean Preston on the bus tour with him. The Boston Globe quoted Federline as gushing about it.

"I'm going to try to do the bus thing and bring everyone along," he said, adding that he wants to spend as much time with Britney as he can in order to help his marriage. "I feel bad. It's been a while since I've been able to take her away."

On the flip side, Britney isn't being a slouch either.

Despite being eight months pregnant, ContactMusic reports that Spears was spotted heading into Conway Studios (below) where she's been recording new tracks. Spears even had Sean Preston in tow, so he could get a taste of her mom's new music. We're sure he appreciated it.

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If you believe everything you read on the Internet, which The Gossip (by definition) pretty much as to, you'd know Hollywood's biggest star has been keeping his new baby daughter, Suri Cruise, under wraps because she's an alien, or may not even exist.

Baby Suri, not even four months old, is attracting the kind of snarky comments and speculation usually reserved for celebrities like Tori Spelling.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Photo

According to Australia's Herald-Sun and numerous other sources, there are even rumours that the young one's birth certificate is a fake and some of the celebrity friends who claim to have seen the baby are a bunch of damn liars.

That Suri hasn't yet been seen in photo form is just too much for celeb gossipites to bear! In response, Tom Cruise and rough looking fiancee Katie Holmes, the mother of Suri, if Suri is in fact real, have been forced to issue statements saying they won't be pressured into showing their offspring to the public before they're ready.

It's a sign of the ubiquity of celebrity fame. No topic is off-limits. No part of the personal is private. Thank God!

We're all on a first-name basis and follow everyone's lives, thighs, and highs. Yes, celebs are hotter than ever, with a new magazine, Famous, now on newsstands. In the latest issue, we can read about how Nicole Richie is starving and lonely, while Jennifer picked the wrong guy (again) and how Lindsay's life is ruined.

Again, Thank God!

But there's a nasty whiff of hypocrisy in Cruise and Holmes's response to the clamor of the media for baby pictures. Celebrities selling themselves and their families one minute then pleading for privacy the next seems a tad ridiculous, especially for TomKat, whose entire relationship has been acted out in glare of the spotlight.

After all that couch jumping, etc., it's no wonder people want the next episode of the TomKat soap opera and they want it now.

It's not just TomKat, to be fair. Britney Spears is pleading for people to remember she's a "real" person one minute, then making a TV show about her life the next. The worthless Ashlee Simpson is also finding out that the public will tolerate 1980s hair-dos and intolerably bad singing, but not hypocrisy.

The implausibly thin sister of the implausibly voluptuous Jessica Simpson appeared on the cover of Marie Claire claiming ordinary women should love their own bodies. This from a girl who's had a nose job and God knows how many additional plastic surgery procedures. And since when does a singer who was exposed as a lip-syncher on SNL get to tell anyone what to do. Skank.

We aren't perfect, of course, and don't expect our celebrities to be that way either. We like them better when they're a little tarnished, even. As Mel Gibson and countless others have shown, the standards of behavior we expect from many public figures is very high. You put yourself out there, now deal with it, for better or worse.

In other (possibly true) Cruise news, the Daily Star reports that Tom has extended an invitation to David and Victoria Beckham (a.k.a. Posh and Becks) to view Suri, but only under certain conditions. Seriously, this cannot get any weirder.

Cruise reportedly says that the couple, who are longing for a baby girl themselves, must not pick the baby up, take her picture or coo over her.

"David and Victoria are honoured that Tom and Katie have asked them along," a source tells the Daily Star. "However, they were a little shocked at the list of rules they'll have to follow. It will be difficult for Victoria, because she just loves babies and is trying for a daughter with David at the moment."

Cruise, as we all know, is a devout follower of Scientology, which does not allow cooing over babies as it may effect their development. Scientology's founder, L. Ron Hubbard, warned against exposing young children to noise and alleged that a child could become mentally unstable if exposed to too much attention.

Tom and Katie befriended the Beckhams at a football match last year. The former Spice Girl, who has three sons with soccer star David, reportedly gave Katie advice while she was pregnant. David and Victoria are planning to take a mini Real Madrid jersey for the baby. What a waste of money!

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This edition of Celebrity Look-Alikes goes outside the box... or spider-hole, if you will. And we will.

While it may seem crass to liken Mel Gibson to notorious former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, and it is, consider that these upstanding gentlemen have something in common. They both hate Jews! A lot! Plus, there's just something about their mutually scraggly appearance that made this photo comparison inevitable.

Mel: Troubled Fella

Who is who?

We can barely tell these guys apart! Now, before all you offended Mel supporters start bombarding us with email, think about how good the drunken, rampaging lunatic actor looks compared to the despot who once used chemical weapons on his own citizens. See? We're only trying to help Gibson out.

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If Britney Spears is looking for husband Kevin Federline to start pulling his weight around the house, she might want to consider a different approach. You see, the pop starlet has, according to a report, given her aspiring rapper and former backup dancer husband one gift that he won't leave home without.

That being a a high-rolling Black American Express card. You know, just in case the freeloading assclown needs to go buy something. Like his own airplane.

Kevin Federline Black Card

The American Express Centurion card, otherwise known as the Black AmEx, is friend and status symbol to celebrities (and, now, apparently, wastes of space aspiring rappers) worldwide. According to In Touch Weekly, (via MSNBC), the Britinator is bestowing the precious plastic on her husband because she wants to prove how much she trusts him. As T.H. Gossip has said once before this week in reference to Mrs. Federline, you have got to be f*$%king kidding me.

Come on B. What are you thinking here? We don't have high expectations in that department, but still. When you have a gold-digging freeloader living with you, don't give him another credit card! He already has a problem with credit card debt. Get him credit counseling instead!

Meanwhile, the magazine also reports that Britney is going to renew her vows with K-Fed after the birth of their second child in the fall.

Apparently, she didn't want an elaborate ceremony the first time around when she and Kev tied the knot in secret back in September 2004. They're ready to do it all over again now, however.

"She wants to show the world that she is happily married," an insider who is surely reliable tells the magazine.

Spears' rep says nothing is planned, however. Thank God.