Free Britney

Free Britney

Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria watches her share of basketball - but does she really watch the game, or just one of the players? Clearly, her mind is on one thing alone: Her fiance (and San Antonio Spurs point guard), Tony Parker!

The Cleveland Cavaliers' mascot, Moondog, watches his share of hoops as well. Every home game, in fact. But unlike Eva, this affable canine has become a student of the game - so much so that he remains focused even with smoking hot actresses next to him...

Eva Picture

Incidentally, LeBron James and the rest of the Cavs heeded Moondog's sage advice and clamped down defensively, defeating Eva and Tony's Spurs, 82-78.

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The Britney Spears pictures we brought you yesterday don't even begin to tell the story. Well, actually they do - but they don't prove, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the Britster was sh!tfaced on New Year's Eve. This picture, however, does:

Britney's Body

T.H. Gossip would like to note that we are not critical of Britney Spears for partying, especially on New Year's. We are merely pointing out the absurdity of her people's statements that she simply fell asleep (from quote-unquote exhaustion, not boozing) at the party.

Come on now. It's New Year's Eve - and since filing for divorce from K-Fed, she's already partied hard with various D-listers and skanks, given us a nice crotch shot and hooked up with a dirtball named J.R. Rotem. At this point, what could Britney reeally do to embarrass herself? We know what we're getting, and accept it, despite its faults.

Fell asleep at the club?! Right. That happens all the time. This is almost as absurd as Bill Clinton saying he didn't inhale the marijuana he once tried, or Paris Hilton's claim that she's only slept with two guys. Unless she was just talking about this morning...

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She's hot. She's on a hit TV series. She's 17! That's right, Heroes star Hayden Panettiere has got it going on and she's not afraid to let the world know it, wearing a "Little Miss Bad" sweatshirt - and a mischievous grin - as she strutted through LAX Tuesday:

Hayden Hearts Barack

Hopefully, Little Miss Bad isn't trying to emulate another underage hottie with a wild side, such as embattled Miss USA Tara Conner, or her gal pal and possible make-out buddy, Miss Teen USA Katie Blair. Or, heaven forbid, the former Miss Nevada, Katie Rees. Although, from the perspective of T.H. Gossip, it could be worse than getting any combination of those young ladies together. Just saying.

Whether she's a bad girl or just fronting, Hayden is sure hauling some serious luggage through the airport. At least she no longer appears to be dragging around one particularly greasy piece of baggage - J.R. Rotem. Zing! We are here all day, fans. All. Day.

Regardless, there's no disputing the fact that a lot of guys would like to save this cheerleader, if you know what we're saying. We're saying that Hayden Panettiere is a cutie, and needs to magically become five years older so we can stop feeling creepy about saying it.

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According to TMZ, Crazy Joe Simpson is pissed off that his golden paycheck daughter Jessica turned down a paying, singing appearance - to party with new boy toy (and certified ass clown) John Mayer.

A source says the family tiff began when Vegas' PURE nightclub - yes, the sight of many amusing Britney Spears pictures from New Year's Eve - got in touch with Joe about his eldest daughter hosting a New Year's Eve party for what TMZ says was large sum of money.

Defender of Ash

Only Jessica Simpson wasn't interested in working on the holiday, says our source, and told Crazy Joe she wanted to spend a mellow New Year's Eve, sans glitz and glamour.

In turn, Britney Spears went on to host the event in her place, and either got sh!tfaced and passed out or simply fell asleep, depending on what you read.

Papa Joe capitulated, but when he discovered Jess' "quiet night" meant canoodling with John Mayer at NYC clubs, he was livid - not because John Mayer is a complete douche, but because she partied instead of making dad some ca$h!

With Jessica bailing on the Kennedy Center Honors and not getting reimbursed for $15,000 in fees associated with her aborted Dolly Parton debacle, Joe is sure to have his little girl working double shifts in no time. Indentured servitude, here she comes.

Ol' Pappy needs a new Ferrari, after all - and we all know that Ashlee Simpson isn't exactly the cash cow of this family. On the contrary, she's a worthless cow. Even after all that plastic surgery Joe paid for. Truly a shame.

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In need of a breather from his hectic life - which consists of contributing nothing to society and clubbing every night - Brandon Davis decided to take a vacation to Maui.

Hey, sometimes you need some R&R. His nickname may be Greasy Bear, but the perpetual party pal of Paris Hilton looked more like a greasy pig (or a beached whale).

Trouble for Brandon Davis

See below. WARNING: These images may offend or sicken you.

 

The chain-smoking oil heir was seen marooned chilling out in front of the Four Seasons, where he was having a coughing fit. The Pacific Coast News was lucky enough to catch him in the act. Sly Stallone would be rolling in his grave if he could see this.

Don't worry, though: Once he stopped hacking up a lung, Davis continued puffing on his Marlboro Light. Good times. The only thing that could have made this vacation better were if Lindsay Lohan, whom he infamously dubbed "Firecrotch," were lathering him up with suntan lotion. Or if Brandon managed to set his slick hair on fire with a cigarette.

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Is Britney Spears headed for rehab?

The sexy singer who hates pants reportedly checked into an exclusive spa "for some R&R," MSNBC reports, leaving us wondering if yet another "R" â€" rehab â€" is in store.

Britney VMA Picture

At a New Year's Eve party, Spears passed out drunk fell asleep right after the clock struck midnight, causing observers to laugh hysterically fear for her well-being.

Sources confirm that Britney Spears quietly checked into Sanctuary, a spa in Arizona, on New Year's Day, according to Life & Style weekly.

"With these celebrities, exhaustion sometimes means something else and a little rest at a spa sometimes actually translates into something a little more serious," a spa source says.

THG NOTE: This spa employee is on the money - "exhaustion" often does mean something else. In Lindsay Lohan's case, it means a liter of man soup in her stomach.

Spears' manager, Tony Rudolph, couldn't be reached for comment, but numerous sources report that worried family members are urging the 25-year-old, soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Kevin Federline to seek help.

It's been heartbreaking for her family to see all these crazy Britney Spears pictures and watch her spin out of control on this downward spiral, according to a source close to the Spears clan.

Spears clearly has self-improvement somewhere on her mind: Late last month, she posted a message on her official site defending her wild partying, but admitting she "probably did take my newfound freedom a bit too far."

Then, asked if she had any New Year's resolutions by TV's Extra at her New Year's Eve party in Vegas, Spears replied:

"Stop biting my nails. Just to take care of me more."

If by that, she means passing out drunk and providing fans with more nude pictures, then we are al for it. But seriously, Britney, you should try to get it together. Merely watching this train wreck is tiring us out.

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According to this picture, brought to you courtesy of People Magazine, the revelry continues for Paris Hilton and her on-again, off-again boyfriend.

The heiress and Stavros Niarchos, a.k.a. the Greek God of Poontang, rang in the new year with a public display of affection at Bondi Beach in Sydney, Australia. Despite his lame, Kevin Federline-esque 'do-rag, Paris seems to be all over him. See below:

Paris Hilton Baby Bump?

Will these two, who got back together in October and have reportedly gotten more serious about each other than ever since their hot getaway to Miami last month, be getting hitched anytime soon?

We'll have to wait and see, but don't count on it. Rumor has it that Stavros' family isn't keen on him marrying her. Most likely because despite enormous wealth, the girl is the antithesis of class, and has no redeeming qualities. Not to mention the fact that everyone on earth has seen some Paris Hilton pussy up close by now.

Still, we wish them the best.

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While Britney Spears has been hitting the floor hard when she passes out drunk at clubs, Kevin Federline has been hitting the single scene with a vengeance now that he's a bachelor again.

But FedEx doesn't always achieve the level of success he might like.

A Lindsay Lohan Drunk Picture

According to Us Weekly, the aspiring rapper texted annoying, alcoholic actress Lindsay Lohan, who he met earlier this fall (pictured). His text message:

"We should hang out."

He's a smooth operator. The invite went over about as well as his album, Playing With Fire.

"She was totally grossed out," a Lohan pal claims.

"She thought it was hilarious," says another.

THG NOTE: Lindsay Lohan has friends? Who knew!

It gets better. Federline, who's been warring with Britney and friends on MySpace, wasn't just turned down by LL. He was straight up b!tch slapped via text when Lindsay replied:

"Why would I hang out with you?"

Kevin then retaliated with another text in which he called her "firecrotch." Awesome. Brandon Davis should really be getting royalties every time something like this happens.

Lohan's friend's take on the whole situation was comical.

"She couldn't believe he was so pathetic. She doesn't want him using her to make Britney jealous," the gal pal dished.

Oh well. At least K-Fed has a core group of supporters - like Cris Judd and Shaq - comfort him when he's down and out. And hey, he can always go online and see a Lindsay Lohan crotch shot if he wants.

Both were in Miami to ring in 2007, but Lohan avoided Federline like the plague at Mansion nightclub on New Year's Eve. Federline reportedly kissed a mystery blonde named Rebecca. How much he paid this "Rebecca," and whether he tried to holler at Kristin Cavallari, who was also there, was not reported.

Meanwhile, Britney Spears "fell asleep" at her own party in Las Vegas. But you probably already knew about that by now. The girl's tired!

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Kate Moss' publicist is denying reports that the skinny, perpetually coked-up supermodel married Pete Doherty, the rock star and fellow drug addict, in a Buddhist ceremony in Thailand on New Year's Day, as was reported by T.H. Gossip yesterday.

It was reported that PeteMoss had tied the knot in intimate surroundings on on the idyllic island of Phuket. But it looks like that was just a phuking rumor! Weak.

Stylish Kate Moss

Stuart Higgins, Kate Moss' publicist, refutes the reports.

In a statement released on Tuesday, he wrote:

"Contrary to various entirely false media reports, there has not been any kind of marriage ceremony in Thailand. She is on holiday."

He declined comment on whether everyone on said holiday saw Kate Moss nude, or whether that's a privilege reserved for Doherty. We're guessing it's not.

Anyway, we shouldn't be surprised that they're not married. These two are often too f*%ked up to think straight, and they're involved in wedding rumors every damn day. Plus, a friend of Kate's had already hinted the alleged nuptials were not what they at first appeared to be.

Said Moss' pal, probably under the influence of hard drugs:

"This was not likely to be a formal wedding because Kate would have wanted all her family and friends there. It is much more likely to be a symbolic gesture to show everyone just how serious they are about each other."

It is now being reported that Moss and the Babyshambles lead singer, who remains free despite countless arrests, are planning a wedding in England on January 18, as the Thai ceremony would not have been legally binding in the UK.

We'll keep you posted on the next non-wedding. Man, this is getting as tough to keep track of as all those Vaughniston breakups and engagements. Although it looks like Steve Bing might have put an end to that.

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These past few months have been rough on Kevin Federline.

First he got served - with divorce papers. Then he got straight up de-friended on MySpace and dropped by a clothing company he endorsed. What's worse, his estranged and increasingly insane wife decided to give the whole country a crotch shot or several.

Fat Kevin Federline and Victoria Prince

But he started 2007 off on the right note with a victory (albeit one that required help from several other wrestlers) over John Cena on WWE RAW. He continues to walk tall and receive support from well-wishers, including none other than four-time NBA champion Shaquille O'Neal. See below.

Sometimes, a little small talk can mean the world. K-Fed has been taunted with chants like "We want Britney Spears" by wrestling fans and "I banged your wife" by J.R. Rotem. Okay, just kidding about the second part. But regardless, at the end of the day, he's just a normal guy trying to make a living, with kids at home.

He certainly appreciated being asked about his children with Britney, Sean Preston and Jayden James. Federline also has a son, Kaleb, and a daughter, Kori, with his smoking hot ex-girlfriend, "actress" Shar Jackson.

Like K-Fed, Shaq has four kids (their names are Shareef Rashaun, Amirah Sanaa, Shaquir Rashaun, and Me'arah Sanaa), so he understands what the priorities in life should be. Wonder if the big fella asked to see any Jayden James pictures - or whether FedEx carries any.