Free Britney

Free Britney

Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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I'm free!!!! I'm free!!!! Bound by the shackles of Scientology for over a year, little Suri Cruise attempts to flee as her robotic mother looks on…

Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise, Dolls

Poor Suri Cruise. The small, cute tot may have lots of energy, but little does she know, she stands absolutely no chance of escape from the powers that be.

The expression on Katie Holmes‘ face tells it all. She's already canceled Suri's credit cards and implanted an electronic honing device in her ankle, so any bid for freedom will be quickly quashed. Before long, Leah Remini will track her down, toss her into a burlap sack and carry her back to prison (without bars).

Holmes may look like Victoria Beckham, but she's no fool. Suri will have to wait until age 18 to legally emancipate herself from Katie and Tom Cruise.

At least l'il Jayden James Federline should have an easier time, should he ever decide to make a break for it. Mom and dad aren't the sharpest tools in the shed.

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Evidently deciding that one loser ex-husband wasn't enough, Rebecca Romijn wed Jerry O'Connell Saturday in an intimate ceremony in Los Angeles.

The supermodel, 34, wore a Ralph Lauren gown and jewelry by Neil Lane as she and Jerry O'Connell, 33, exchanged vows in front of 100 family and friends.

Rebecca Romijn, Got Milk

What's next? Petra Nemcova dating James Blunt?

Oh, wait...

The couple's two dogs, Taco and Better, dressed in black bow ties, also joined in on the festivities, running around the grounds.

"It was a perfect celebration and Jerry and I couldn't be happier," Romijn gushed to People.

The couple met back in the fall of 2004 when Romijn was scouting for her documentary Wet Dreams, about choreographing the fountains at Las Vegas' Bellagio Hotel and Casino.

THG NOTE: When we first heard about it, we were guessing that documentary had to do with Amanda Beard nude. But, live and learn, right?

"We met Jerry at a party," Romijn said. "We told him what we were doing and he was like, 'You're making a documentary out of this? I want to be the boom operator!' He was totally game."

Jerry O'Connell proposed to Romijn in September 2005 in New York

This is the first marriage for O'Connell and the second for Romijn, who was, of course, married to the great John Stamos.

Romijn currently stars in ABC's hit comedy Ugly Betty with Vanessa Williams and America Ferrera. O'Connell will be starring in ABC's new Carpoolers this fall.

While this is a first marriage for O'Connell, the actor was previously engaged to E! News host Giuliana DePandi.

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Hey, if you've ever watched The Hills and heard some of the things that come out of Heidi Montag's mouth, that much probably wasn't assumed.

Heidi Montag and her devil-boyfriend fiance Spencer Pratt, a.k.a. America's Most Hated, were spotted catching a flight out of LAX airport on Thursday.

Apparently, Heidi Montag felt like enhancing her nose brain, delving into The Art of War by Sun Tzu, an Asian philosopher.

Perhaps this dissertation on warfare, military strategy and history will prepare her for some hectic cat fights with former pal and roomie Lauren Conrad.

Ever the gentleman - he's a regular Daimon Shippen, only less good looking and soulless - Spencer Pratt went out of his way to carry Heidi's fake boobs bag.

Meanwhile, some passersby at LAX probably wished they could wrap a plastic bag around Spencer Pratt's head and deprive him of oxygen. Or is that just us?

Earlier in the week, the celebrity gossip mainstays was spotted out and about at an ice cream shop. Of course, Heidi Montag had, like, no idea there were cameras around! OMG!

As usual, The Hills' Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag made sure they were photographed wherever their phony, lame adventures took them.

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Daimon Shippen is reportedly kind, soft-spoken, strong and good with kids.

He also may or may not have worked for a sex toy and Internet porn company.

Regardless of his past, People magazine reports that his relationship with Britney Spears is (yeah, right) purely professional.

"He's her bodyguard and manny," says a source familiar with Shippen, who was first identified yesterday by celebrity photo and news site X17. "They're not dating."

Shippen, a California native described by the source as "funny, but on the quiet side," is "tickled" by the attention from the media.

"But [Daimon Shippen] really wants to focus on his job: taking care of the kids and of her," says the source.

No word on whether "taking care of" Britney Spears involves making sure she wears underwear out in public, or performing any sort of wheelbarrow act.

Interestingly, People reports that Daimon Shippen was the security guard who helped catch Spears' son Sean Preston when the singer stumbled in New York in May 2006.

At the time, Daimon Shippen was working for a private security firm.

Shippen and the company parted ways soon after, but Spears recently rehired Shippen independent of an agency. In recent days he has escorted her to a production of Wicked and to church, carrying a crying Jayden James.

The 34-year-old, neckless hunk has also been spotted with Britney Spears at a Beverly Hills hotel where she has been staying recently.

A second source says that despite all the time they've spent together, it is "completely false" to suggest Spears is dating Daimon.

"She doesn't have a nanny," this source says. "When the kids are with her she takes care of them and she is a very hands-on mom."

Aww. How sweet. Too bad that's, like, never.

"[Daimon Shippen] also sometimes helps Britney with children," the source adds. "She'd like to have them for more time than she does, but Britney is willing to live with the agreement with [Kevin Federline] that she has now."

Riiight. She doesn't seem to be so interested in the kids that she'd stay home from the clubs and refrain from drinking once in awhile, but that's cool.

Spears and Federline, who is reportedly dating Liz Hernandez, currently share joint custody of their sons as per a temporary legal agreement.

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For all of you romantics hoping Britney Spears and Kevin Federline would someday re-unite... why the hell would you possibly hope that? Seriously.

In any case, it appears to be a moot point, because K-Fed reportedly has a new sweetie. The aspiring rapper has been dating L.A. hip-hop radio personality Liz Hernandez.

"Kevin is definitely thrilled with [Liz Hernandez]," a source told the always reputable celebrity gossip publication.

"He talks about her all the time â€" how smart she is, how she's marketed herself so well, and how beautiful she is. He's serious about her."

The two first met about 18 months ago when the aspiring rapper appeared on Hernandez's radio show. In an exchange that caused a hubbub at the time, she asked Federline who was better in bed, Britney Spears or Shar Jackson.

Jackson, of course, is the mother of two of FedEx's kids. Britney Spears was said to be furious because he didn't say her name immediately.

"Liz Hernandez is trying to keep it quiet because she doesn't want it to get around work, but Kevin can't help but brag about his conquest to his friends and family," the source said.

"He has tons of modeling pictures of Liz Hernandez in his home. She likes to cook, and Kevin loves that because he always did the cooking for both Shar and Britney."

The source also adds that Liz Hernandez thinks Federline's two children by Spears, Sean Preston and Jayden James, are "adorable."

Wonder how Britney feels about that. Chances are she's too busy hanging out with Daimon Shippen to give much thought to her kids.

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Thanks, as always, to People for this collection of celebrity quotes...

"Maybe after having kids, if my boobs dropped down to my belly button, I would get them lifted. ... Maintenance. But you know, my boobs are real."
- Jessica Simpson, on not ruling out plastic surgery (which runs in the family)

Large and In Charge

"I am genuinely happy for the two of them. In fact, I sent them flowers to congratulate them both. I've spent time with her, and my girls really like her. That's all that matters to me."
- Denise Richards, on ex-husband Charlie Sheen's new fiancée Brooke Mueller

"I am now officially ordained. Yep, that's right. Reverend Tori Spelling!"
- Tori Spelling, on adding minister to her résumé, on her MySpace blog

"I think they have this impression that I'm this miserable cow who doesn't smile. But I'm actually quite the opposite. ... I'm going to try and smile more for America."
- Victoria Beckham

"It's a boat... It's kinda big."
- A Kim Porter-less Diddy, describing his yacht to David Letterman

"I'm working on the sexiest projects around the world. So to me to be on a TV show every single day at a designated period of time just wouldn't work for my schedule."
- Ivanka Trump on not wanting to co-host The View

"All of the going out he did after we broke up sort of shocked me. When we were together, he hated stuff like that, so I felt like I didn't really know him as well as I thought I did."
- Hilary Duff, on ex-boyfriend Joel Madden's post-breakup behavior

It's not about celebrity or not. It's all about, do you have that 'girl in a cardigan' in you. You gotta have that."
- Office star John Krasinski, on looking for a real-life Pam Beesly

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Oil(y) heir Brandon Davis, a.k.a. "Greasy Bear," was spotted yesterday in Miami Beach. He was even more oiled up than usual, but that's not even the point of this post.

Brandon Davis was spotted with, get this, a hot girl.

Kim and Brandon

Guess having access to tens of millions carries some allure. In any case, Greasy Bear apparently landed Australian model Cheyenne Tozzi… a.k.a. Koala Bear?

Davis, who freaked the f*%k out at the wedding of his oldest brother, Alexander (a mysterious, as yet un-nicknamed bear) appears to be in better spirits than the last two times we've heard from him. Which is good to see from this Paris Hilton pal.

The same can't be said for his other brother, Jason Davis, a.k.a. Gummi Bear. Guy has some serious issues… and hates Perez Hilton somethin' awful.

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You know what they say. The alcohol-impaired, spoiled, bleach blonde, worthless apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Yes, Brooke Ashley Brinson, a cousin of Paris Hilton, was arrested late last year for DUI and - like her more famous, equally trashy cousin - also had issues with her license.

Next they're gonna tell us she's got sex photos sitting around. Yikes.

Unlike Paris Hilton, however, whose blood alcohol level was just at the .08 that constitutes a DUI in California, Brinson blew at least a 0.15 - which led to another charge of DUI.

  • Brooke Ashley Brinson Picture
  • Paris Hilton Mug Shot

What's more, Brooke Ashley Brinson was just 20 years old.

Paris will probably want to avoid using Brooke as a designated driver anytime soon. Brooke was driving a Benz - registered to Hilton - that allegedly caused a four-car collision on the freeway.

Above is Brooke Ashley Brinson's mug shot. Now that's hotttt. Certainly one of the trampier celebrity mug shots we've come across in recent years.

Brooke Ashley Brinson will be back in court on August 3. Below is a picture of these two kissin' cousins - as well as her parents. Doesn't it melt your heart?

No. But somewhere, Britney Spears' cousin Alli Sims is seething that she's no longer Hollywood's best-known cousin of a train wreck.

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Everyone's been trying to figure out who Britney Spears new mystery man / new boyfriend is. Us Weekly kinda dropped the ball yesterday, but X17 came through: it's Daimon Shippen.

Yes, a source tells X17 that Daimon is the man - he last worked as a production assistant on the movie "Road To Red," which starred Chris Blasman (!?) - a guy Britney Spears was photographed with last week at the Chateau Marmont.

Wow What a Dick

The dirt on Daimon Shippen ...

  • He was fired from his former employment agency, Galahad Security, because he allegedly owned a sex toy / Internet porn website.
  • Following that firing, Daimon Shippen used a domestic service employment agency that doesn't perform background checks.
  • There's a rumor that Daimon Shippen may not be into girls (and Britney Spears' real "boyfriend" is named Sam, according to X17's source).
  • Daimon Shippen is rumored to have an apartment in Santa Monica, Calif. - a Mr. Daimon Shippen competing in a Santa Cruz, Calif., triathlon last year was listed as a Santa Monica resident, age 34.

Since Britney Spears and Daimon Shippen were first spotted together a week ago, celebrity news sites have been trying to decipher his identity.

Not to mention what the heck is deal is. Is the guy her driver? Assistant? A nanny? Escort? Boyfriend? The new man has been one of mystery. One that hasn't been fully solved yet.

Interestingly, on a side note, Britney Spears apparently doesn't even know John Sundahl, her supposed AA mentor who many thought was the man we now know is Daimon Shippen. Britney has been rumored to be dating John Sundahl since getting out of rehab.

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There may be a 10-year age gap, a nine-inch height difference, and many thousand miles between their native Australia and Connecticut.

But thanks to matching golden locks and flawless skin, 5-foot-flat Aussie pop icon Kylie Minogue (left), 38, could double as a "mini-me" of sorts for 5-foot-9 Grey's Anatomy surgical intern and Knocked Up star Katherine Heigl (right).

Katherine Heigl, Josh Kelley Wedding Pic

What do you think? See the resemblance?

Eh, maybe not. But give us a break, alright?

Keep in mind that we've recently linked Jennifer Toof, a.k.a. "Toastee" to Mena Suvari, sellout chef Rachael Ray to teen idol Miley Cyrus, and Mary-Kate Olsen to ET. Yes, the alien. This is mostly for fun. And an excuse to talk about Katherine Heigl. Man she's hot!

Next up? A comparison of Daimon Shippen to an SNL's unfrozen caveman lawyer. After that? Those supposedly "controversial" and "nude" Amy Polumbo photos to pictures that any college girl in America has taken. Only Amy's are more vanilla.

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