Free Britney

Free Britney

Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Britney Spears' boobs are suffocating.

Having not been featured in any nipple slip or nude pics of late, and being confined by tank tops two sizes too small, they are dying to break free! It's only a matter of time before she obliges. At least one would think so, given her behavior of late.

Tank Top Heat

Meanwhile, the horde of celebrity news photographers following Britney Spears‘ every move is equally anxious for this event. But not because it's anything new. On the contrary, the train wreck is making them serious coin with each (nipple) slip-up!

The dude on the right, who somewhat resembles Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite, looks particularly focused on getting the money shot - if you know what we are talking about!

Sigh. Poor Jayden James and Sean P.

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That's the latest rumor circulating in celebrity gossip world.

Apparently, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to do their own spread in W magazine and plan on it being even racier than the one their good friends, Victoria and David Beckham recently did. And that was pretty gosh darn racy.

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Image

Keen to shed their wholesome family image, the father and mother of Suri Cruise want to show their sexual sides again. Hubba. Hubba.

"They are already planning the steamy photos," says a source close to the pair. "Tom and Katie want to pose together in the shower, dripping wet and covered by only steam."

Wow. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes nude! Can you imagine? Gosh. We never thought such a thing would be possible. Oh, who are we kidding. Sure we did. The man is a hottie.

Insane, but a hottie just the sane. Ever see A Few Good Men? Wow.

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By request, here are photos of Lauren Conrad outside Les Deux last night. With LC are Audrina Patridge and her high school pal from Laguna Beach, Lauren "Lo" Bosworth.

Thanks to Splash News for the photos, which show Lauren, Lo and Audrina as they make their way to their favorite L.A. hot spot. Looking fabulous, as usual, girls!

As we reported yesterday, with a new season of The Hills right around the corner, things between Lauren Conrad and her co-star (and former bestest pal) Heidi Montag have gotten so bad that two can't be in the same room together.

The root of that conflict? The slimy Spencer Pratt. Good to see Lauren knows who her real friends are. Always nice to see photos of Audrina and Lo! We missed you, girl!

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If The Simple Life taught us anything, it's that BFFs Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie do everything together! We never expected that to mean going to the same jail, though.

The Hollywood Gossip has learned that Nicole will serve her four-day jail sentence at the Century Regional Detention Facility at Los Angeles County's women's jail in Lynwood.

That's where Paris Hilton spent 23 days for violating probation.

"Nicole Richie and her attorney have indicated that she wants to do her time in county jail," L.A. County Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore said. "Lynwood is the only county jail for women in L.A., so if she does go to county jail she will go to Lynwood."

The former reality star could enter Lynwood late in the evening (as Paris Hilton did) and get credit for an entire day. There's also a chance she could be awarded "good time" credit, which would also shorten the sentence.

Meanwhile, the pregnant Richie told Diane Sawyer she was so surprised to discover that she was Knocked Up, she took five pregnancy tests to convince herself it was for real.

"It took me - it really took me a long time to really - for it to sink in," she says. "I actually didn't even really believe it until I heard the heartbeat."

ABOVE: Diane Sawyer interviews Nicole Richie. Why? No idea.

Richie was speaking to Diane Sawyer for an exclusive interview - in three parts - Thursday and Friday on ABC's Good Morning America and then tonight on 20/20.

Richie and Joel Madden, who have already started a video diary for their unborn baby, tell Sawyer they don't want to know whether the child is a boy or a girl.

"We're going to try and hold out," says Richie. "Try."

That's cute. But can we ask why Diane Sawyer is interviewing Nicole Richie? What is that significant here? For us, news and gossip about celebrities are what we deal in. But is it that slow over at ABC that its quote-unquote journalists are resorting to Hollywood gossip - and pretty boring items, at that? Just saying.

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We realize calling Marilyn Manson weird is akin to terming Britney Spears a train wreck these days. How much more obvious do we want to be here?

Nevertheless, you may not believe this recent piece of celebrity news.

Swine Flu Victim

Manson's keyboard player has filed a lawsuit claiming that the shock rocker squandered their band's earnings on "sick and disturbing purchases of Nazi memorabilia and taxidermy, including the skeleton of a young Chinese girl."

Well, okay then. Keyboardist Stephen "Pogo" Bier also accuses Marilyn Manson of splurging on a multimillion-dollar home, an engagement ring for Dita Von Teese, as well as the couple's lavish wedding in Ireland.

Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese filed for divorce earlier this year
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According to the New York Post, Bier accuses the 38-year-old Manson (real name Brian Warner) and his "musketeers" (his business manager, lawyer and the band's manager) of assisting Manson "in filching millions of dollars the band made over the years."

Somehow in there, he got tired of seeing Dita Von Teese nude. For her part, Von Teese, 34, is still recovering from the couple's very public split in January after a year of marriage.

Yes, that's Dita Von Teese nude. Marilyn is a moron.

Shortly after the burlesque star filed for divorce in January, Manson began dating (rather controversially) the 19-year-old actress Evan Rachel Wood.

Von Teese says that she was disappointed that her ex chose to speak about the end of their marriage and his love for Wood while doing press for his new album.

"It was hard," a dejected Dita tells RadarOnline in an interview. "I never expected it. It's unfortunate to have my divorce exploited for record sales."

As for his take on the issue? In an interview with France's Le Parisien newspaper, Marilyn Manson said of Dita Von Teese:

"I was married to someone who wanted me to change. Become more adult, more responsible. I began not to like myself, not like what I do. I lost my identity."

Harsh! Radar asked Dita Von Teese if she thought some of Manson's frank remarks about their history were blown out of proportion by the press.

"I don't think it was the press," Von Teese said. "It was a matter of, ‘Hey, maybe you shouldn't drink absinthe and do cocaine and do interviews all at the same time.' ... It was drinking and interviewing."

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Some contests are no-brainers.

We don't suspect our ongoing Lauren Conrad-Heidi Montag debate to be a close race when it comes to fan sentiment. Of course, personality often plays a role in that face-off as well.

High Heeled

When celebrity babies collide, though, gossip readers had best watch out. More often than not, the cuteness meter is going to be off the charts.

Below, Suri Cruise and Violet Affleck both don similar, adorable sun dresses and look absolutely precious. Who gets your vote as the best dressed?

This celebrity baby battle is going down to the wire.

While the spawn of TomKat may take a lot of abuse simply because of her famous (and somewhat strange) folks, there's no doubting what a little sweetheart she is.

As for Violet (left) - the daughter of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck - very little is said about her one way or the other. This has to change! Look how awesome she is! Ben can't keep living off his Good Will Hunting fame forever.

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When we last left Lauren Conrad on the season two finale of MTV's top-rated reality hit, The Hills, she was seeing off Heidi Montag, as her former BFF and roomie sped away in a U-Haul.

Montag had chosen to move in with her slimy new beau, Spencer Pratt, even though Pratt is a complete prick Lauren Conrad strongly objected to the relationship.

But just because the season ended didn't mean the Lauren-Heidi drama was over.

On May 30, while Conrad, her new roommate, Audrina Patridge, and other pals enjoyed a night out at Les Deux, they ended up having a turf war of sorts with Heidi and Spencer, who showed up at the L.A. club that night.

"They just came right at our table and sat down," Audrina says in the newest Us Weekly. "We were like, ‘What are you doing? Get away! This is our table.' But they said, ‘This is our night, our friends, get out of here.'"

In the end, the couple stormed out of Les Deux in a huff.

By July, the estrangement between Heidi and Lauren was so palpable that Montag didn't take the MTV's promotional photos for season three of The Hills the same day as the rest of the cast - instead posing by herself in the studio for separate pics!

Of course, there are many other photos of Heidi Montag (and that jackass Spencer Pratt) that spontaneously and mysteriously surface online. Meanwhile, LC may have landed, if only for a night, an NBA player in former Duke University star Josh McRoberts.

Regardless, the Team Lauren vs. Team Heidi showdown has officially eclipsed Hollywood's best battles
. What do you think of this drama? Team Heidi or Team LC?

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Seems like everyone close to the slow-moving train wreck that is Britney Spears is spouting off their opinions regarding the former pop singer.

Her mom, Lynne Spears, claims to be reaching out to the singer, but was recently seen partying in Vegas like a regular ol' Dina Lohan.

Kevin Federline's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, has expressed his concerns over some of the recent accounts of Britney's parenting skills (or lack thereof).

Heck, even her former assistant and fellow club-goer, Alli Sims, has cut ties with Spears to launch her own singing career.

The latest to break their silence? Maureen Funk, mother of Shannon Funk, an assistant fired by Spears last week. The elder Funk is speaking out to defend her daughter.

She tells Life & Style, "My daughter is a terrific person and she has been hounded by the media since news that she left Britney broke. Contrary to what people may think, this situation is not about money as Shannon is not that type of person."

Maureen denies her daughter inked a $500,000 "tell-all" deal to spill the beans about her short-lived stint as Britney's personal assistant (Shannon denies she was axed by Britney).

"I feel really sorry for Britney Spears," Maureen says "She is under a lot of pressure every day and is a really sweet woman, despite all the stories."

Sean Preston and Jayden James Plea For Help

As Life & Style previously reported, Britney felt a lot of her recent troubles started and stopped with Shannon, an insider close to Spears said:

"Britney thought she was talking badly about her. She was extremely rude and Britney felt she was letting business e-mails fall by the wayside."

Shannon was Britney Spears' assistant when the pop star recently filmed a personally financed music video, which ended in a near meltdown.

Meanwhile, Britney's uncle, Barry Bridges, tells Life & Style that with Britney's divorce finalized, "I think Britney and [Kevin] should be very happy about this. It'll be a relief to the family, [and] I think [her mom] Lynne will be happy."

As for advice he would offer Britney Spears, he says:"Just get on with your life, and try to be civil. She'll need to know to not talk badly about their daddy, especially around [Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline]."

Asked whether he thinks Britney will be able to repair her relationship with Lynne Spears, now that the divorce is settled, he says:

"I think they'll get back together. Sometimes people are hard-headed, but Britney and Lynne have been so close so long. Remember that your family is always your family. You don't forget they love you, no matter what."

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She's been best known for hanging with Britney Spears, but now her cousin / BFF / personal biatch, Alli Sims, is aiming for a career of her own.

Many celebrity news outlets have been watching Sims' official website closely, and on Monday, Spears' former assistant updated it to include her first song - a cover of "On My Own," from the stage musical Les Misérables.

The newly launched singer says she has a staunch supporter in Britney Spears.

Shrugging off the typical celebrity gossip and rumors that Britney resented her decision to pursue her lifelong dream, Alli Sims, 26, says:

"She heard my songs on the laptop and was like, 'I love this song! This is you singing?' She has always been supportive."

Sims' comments are in slight contrast to recent reports of her estrangement from Spears and collaborations with K-Fed to protect their kids from the train wreck.

As for Spears' parenting skills, which have come under fire from Kevin Federline, his lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan and others, Sims tells People, "She's a wonderful mom and she is so hands-on. ... Britney loves those babies to death. And they adore her."

Maybe Alli should read our stunning report on Sean Preston and Jayden James from yesterday and see if she's still willing to sing that tune afterward.

When it comes to her music, the Southerner is after a "soulful" sound, and the single on her Web site is "more of a filler song until I get my new stuff recorded. Honestly, we put that one up there because all the other ones I had put down in the past had a little more of a country vibe, and I do not want to go there at all."

Further distinguishing herself from Spears, Alli Sims also says, "I don't dance, I'm not pop. I'm more bluesy, more Norah Jones-ish. I don't want to appeal to just my age group."

Having moved to L.A. after college with a music career in mind, Sims made ends meet by working with noted wedding planner Mindy Weiss and, more recently, for Britney Spears.

"I was doing that for a while, and we had a great time together," Alli Sims says of Britney. "Now I hope everything falls into place, and maybe by January I will have a lot of things under my belt and get to release something. I just want to do what I love. Music is my passion."

Reports say that a solo Alli is making music with the likes of such in-demand producers as Evan Bogart and J.R. Rotem.

No word on whether Rotem has making the same kind of "music" he's made with Alli's "cousin" in the past. We're talking about J.R. tanging Britney wheelbarrow style!

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And you think you've seen it all.

Some spontaneous, all-natural Heidi Montag bikini pictures have surfaced on the Internets. We never saw this coming. The girl keeps such a low profile!

It's good to see that Heidi Montag and her totally awesome boyfriend (or future husband?), Brody Jenner's ex-pal Spencer Pratt have finally decided to allow photos of themselves to be taken. Really, you two are too gorgeous to remain hidden from the public.

Please take a long look at the photos of Heidi Montag in a bikini below. As you can see, Spencer Pratt is doing exactly that as he pushes his "fiancee" on  a surfboard and inspects that surgically-enhanced booty thoroughly.

Also, note her "Girls Gone Wild" bikini. Emblazoned on the ass of a girl desperately pleading for attention, the name of Joe Francis' video empire certainly seems appropriate in this pic.

Surely he would agree, but he probably too busy trying to avoid being violated in prison to comment on anything regarding The Hills at this time.

So, to sum up, it's the same old "yes, we are really happy couple - we're not just publicity crazed brats posing for the cameras" (no they're not, and yes they are) "water sports" photo shoot - only with a new bikini and a new activity (surfing).

Hope you enjoyed. And have joined the unofficial Lauren Conrad fan club.

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