Free Britney

Free Britney

Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Well, probably not. But it's top ten material, without question. If you've seen any Britney Spears photos of late, this one certainly won't come as a huge shock to you, and requires little introduction from our staff members.

Nevertheless, we are required to post it for you, because how often do you see a cute, 25-year-old girl - who was once the sex symbol of your generation - looking like a triple-chinned, camouflaged, pissed-off hunchback truck driver? 

The Ring Leader

Not too often. This picture of Britney Spears was taken as she hit up a hot tanning salon in Beverly Hills. One can only wonder if the horrified expression on Britney's face is a result of her catching a glimpse of herself in a mirror.

Come on, Brit. Those topless pictures were random and weird, but nice enough. This is enough to drive a celebrity gossip site into a cycle of abject misery.

Jayden James would be filing the paperwork for legal emancipation from his mother if he could see this picture. Brit really does make K-Fed look stable by comparison.

At least her wig looks securely fastened. It's a start!

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The last time we saw Hayden Panettiere out and about with Rumer Willis, who she is apparently pals with, we couldn't help but note how sexy she is.

We mean Hayden Panettiere.

Hottie Hayden

We noted that Rumer looks quite a bit like Jay Leno… with a touch of Michael Jackson thrown in there. While it's good to see Lindsay Lohan's former personal assistant is still alive and kicking, we're not sure about her latest style choices… 

Dressed like Clark Kent from Superman, Bruce Willis‘ oldest daughter looks disguised and primed to stealthily sniff out all the latest in celebrity gossip. Hayden, meanwhile, is stuck sniffing Rumer's cigarette. Gross!

Here's hoping that the next time Hayden and Stephen Colletti go out on a date, they leave the weird-looking third-wheel at home.

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Sitting at home and watching the likes of Eve and Busta Rhymes get all this publicity for their DUI arrests, the other D-list stars out there have to be thinking, "What about me?!"

Guess it's no surprise that the super-uncool "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" star, Ty Pennington, was arrested early Saturday morning in Los Angeles on suspicion of being under the influence of alcohol and drugs while driving.

The extremely annoying carpenter, a poor man's (straight) Ryan Seacrest who got his start on the TLC hit "Trading Spaces," was arrested at 12:35 AM. He was released two hours later after posting $5,000 bail.

The Ty Pennington arrest news follows that of Chris Albrecht, the HBO chairman busted on suspicion of assaulting his girlfriend over the weekend.

Chris Albrecht was in Las Vegas for HBO's broadcast of the much-anticipated championship boxing match in which Floyd Mayweather, Jr., defeated Oscar De La Hoya.

That was unexpected enough - even more so than the Rich Eisen-Alycia Lane-Suzy Shuster drama from last week. Nut the Ty Pennington situation shook our staff to its core.

At our daily staff meeting, the chairman and executive editor of our celebrity gossip department assessed the Pennington arrest with the following quote:

"You can't help families move into new homes when wasted. I expect more from Ty."

No doubt millions of American families feel the same way.

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Right now, Jason Wahler is behind bars.

Paris Hilton will soon join him (see countdown).

Is Pete Doherty angling to for jail time himself?

It would seem that way. The hard-ass druggie and boyfriend of supermodel Kate Moss was arrested on Saturday night on suspicion of possessing "Class A" banned drugs, The Sun reports.

Though a police spokesman declined to confirm whether the uglier, more f*%ked up half of PeteMoss specifically was arrested, but he said:

"At 2200 hours (2100 GMT) on the 5th (of May), police stopped a vehicle on Kensington High Street."

"A 28-year-old male driver was arrested on suspicion of possession of a class A drug. He was taken to a west London police station, and later bailed to return in June pending further inquiries."

According to The Sun, Doherty was held in the police station overnight.

Only 17 days ago, Pete Doherty was back in court for a routine review of his rehab progress and told how pals had given him the ultimatum:

"It's the drugs or us."

Pete, in a rare moment of clarity, also hinted at relationship problems with Kate, "The people closest to me have had enough."

Apparently, he just can't get enough of the smack, though.

Kate would probably love to load Pete into a cannon and shoot him into the ocean at this point. Of course, she'd would never do that, because then a nude Kate Moss would have to swim out and drag his worthless ass back to shore.

You know how it goes.

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Saturday marked the 133th running of the Kentucky Derby, and the stars flocked to the home state of Tara Conner to enjoy some mint juleps, horse racing and outlandish outfits.

Below (left), we see happy new dad Larry Birkhead with two women, who have been identified as Priscilla Barnstable and Patricia Barnstable Brown. Think he's shopping around for new mothers for Dannielynn? Either way, there's no doubt that Larry's lookin' sharp.

Lovable Larry

To Larry's right, we have Kid Rock, who always feels at home in the south and in new girlfriend May Andersen. In addition to rocking a super-cool hat and shirt, Kid took some time out to publicly diss Kevin Federline during an interview.

Elsewhere, Star Jones and her husband, Al Reynolds, took in the events, looking happy and almost normal by her standards. If she's going to bust out a ridiculous hat, at least Star picked an appropriate event with the Kentucky Derby.

Lastly, we have O.J. Simpson. We can't really see what he's wearing at the Derby, but we chose to include him because: 1. He was at the event. 2. It's nice to see that known murderers who will one day rot in the fiery pits of hell can at least enjoy the sport of kings.

Which Kentucky Derby outfit is your favorite?

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If you're into famous people whose only redeeming qualities are partying and keeping celebrity gossip sites busy, then the great Brody Jenner is for you.

But if you fancy the sexy, intense, creative types, James Franco is your guy. The 29-year-old actor first became known in the '90s when he starred in the TV cult hit, Freaks and Geeks.

James Franco in a Dress

James Franco won a Golden Globe award and a Screen Actors Guild nomination in 2002 for his role as James Dean in a TNT movie based on the troubled actor's life story, but his big break came later that year.

That was when James auditioned for the role of Peter Parker in Spider-Man, but was eventually cast as Peter's best friend, Harry Osborn.

Instead of disappointment, James says he enjoys playing a conflicted character - especially one that doesn't draw as much attention as costars Tobey Maguire or Kirsten Dunst.

"[My life] hasn't changed much," the star says. "The first time I was confronted with more than one person coming up to me was in D.C. and there was some junior high field trips and I was in the cafeteria and it kind of spread, but other than that, my life hasn't been much different except a few kids on the street [ask me to] sign stuff."

As far as romance is concerned, Franco is a bit tight-lipped.

After dating actress Marla Sokoloff for several years, the actor was rumored to be the cause of Jude Law and Sienna Miller's break-up back in 2006 when he and Sienna started filming a movie together in Canada.

For now, this hot young actor seems content with his current girlfriend, actress Ahna O'Reilly (pictured above). We're looking forward to seeing more of him in this spring's Spider-Man 3 and many other films in the future.

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We're used to people with the name Britney hooking up with random dudes and getting married a lot. But usually it's Britney Spears doing the deed.

The Gossip was thrown for a loop when it learned Brittany Murphy recently married screenwriter Simon Monjack, which Us Weekly reported this morning.

Mr. & Mrs. Monjack

We were pretty clueless about these surprise nuptials, if you know what we're saying. We're saying Brittany Murphy starred in the movie Clueless back in 1995. 

The 29-year-old actress, who called off an an engagement to another man (Joe Macaluso) just over eight months ago, was spotted partying with Simon Monjack at the Playboy event at the Kentucky Derby on Saturday.

They were both wearing wedding rings

"[Murphy and Simon Monjack] were drinking Crown Royal, and [they] didn't want photographers to take pictures of their rings because they were waiting to make a formal announcement on Monday."

Monjack's recent writing credits include Factory Girl, which features a nude Sienna Miller.

The source adds, "They were dancing in the V.I.P. section and around DJ Reach's booth. They looked very excited, happy and jovial."

This is the first marriage for Brittany Murphy, who also briefly dated Ashton Kutcher.

We can only guess how this must have shocked their families. With any marriage, you expect a period in which the parents can get to know their future in-laws, like with Kanye West's mom and Alexis Phifer.

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In a move designed to dispel rumors that he is insane and his wife is imprisoned by a cult, Tom Cruise plunked down $35 million for a Beverly Hills home for himself, Katie Holmes and baby Suri Cruise, the Los Angeles Times reports.

Tom Cruise had been renting a home in Beverly Hills for the past several years, but that lease runs out next year, according to the paper.

New Marriage Deal!

The new address, which reportedly was not even on the market when Cruise made his offer, is described as a "traditional-style residence."

Originally built as a 10,000-sq.-ft. structure in 1937, the house was expanded four years ago and currently contains seven bedrooms, three cells with padded walls and nine bathrooms, say those familiar with the property.

Katie Holmes' Scientology prison without bars will at least have privacy: the pad sits on 1.3 acres, behind gates and a lengthy driveway, and boasts a tennis court and a pool.

As for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' current residence, the compound also serves as a gathering place for Cruise's kids with ex-wife Nicole Kidman: Isabella, 14, and Connor, 12.

The actor's mother, Mary, 70, also lives there. Yes, Tom Cruise still lives with his mother.

"Tom and Katie will be in the kitchen and make amazing popcorn with chocolate," says a pal, Internet mogul Sky Dayton. "[Suri Cruise] is there playing. Kate feeds her a bottle and then Tom feeds her."

In addition, Cruise and Holmes's pals, David and Victoria Beckham have bought a multi-million-dollar house only two minutes away. They plan to move in July.

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Every Father's Day for years, Adrian Grenier would pick up the phone and call his mom, Karesse.

"Growing up, she was both a mother and father to me," he said.

But this year, the curly-haired actor will also wish a happy Father's Day to John Dunbar - the dad he reunited with in 2001, after being estranged for 18 years.

How the two men got to this point is the subject of Adrian Grenier's documentary, A Shot in the Dark, which will debut June 3 on HBO.

Made with friend Jonathan Davidson in 2001 - three years before Grenier landed his breakout role as Vincent Chase on Entourage, alongside Jeremy Piven - the film follows Grenier's quest to reconnect with a man he had once called "Daddy" but hadn't seen or spoken to since he was 6.

"I didn't necessarily think I needed a father," Grenier said, "but you start to wonder, 'Who am I? Does a father really matter?' "

"No" was the message Grenier got growing up in New York City with Karesse, an ex-flower child turned real-estate broker who was 25 when she met Dunbar on a commune in upstate New York.

"I was teaching yoga and dance to children," Karesse, 56, recalls. "John wrote beautiful poetry. We had a connection."

Soon enough, they had a baby on the way, someone Dunbar hoped would bind him and Karesse together. "When she told me she was pregnant, I wanted to be there," says Dunbar, a 56-year-old special-ed teacher who bears little resemblance to his blue-eyed son.

Karesse saw things differently.

"I was pushing John away," she admits. "I knew he wasn't right for me. I told him I wanted to be free."

Discovering love letters from another man in Karesse's luggage, Dunbar walked away. "I didn't know what to do," he recalls.

Growing up, Grenier, who was recently linked romantically with Kirsten Dunst (like everyone else) saw his father a few times. Then, after a contentious trip, the visits stopped.

Grenier, who played the boyfriend of Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada, stayed in touch with his paternal parents, Carl and Esther Dunbar, in Lancaster, Ohio.

"My grandmother sent me cards," Grenier says. "Because of her, I felt connected. And I always thought about my dad."

That connection hit home when, on Father's Day 2001, Grenier called his grandfather and was shocked to hear Dunbar's voice. Suddenly the reality of making a film about the meaning of fatherhood became clear.

"I'd thought about him all the time," says Dunbar, who agreed to be in Grenier's film as a way to reconnect with his son. "I had some fears he would make me a villain, but I wanted to see him so much."

A few months after that first call, father and son hugged on Dunbar's front lawn. Since that time, they've stayed in touch.

And what of Grenier's question - does a father matter?

"My father," Grenier says, "makes me feel safe and complete. Maybe I can do that for a child someday."

No doubt all of Kevin Federline's kids will one day say the same.

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Busta Rhymes was released back into the world after his DUI arrest about 36 hours ago, our celebrity gossip spies have learned, but he'll have to head right back to the courtroom for his arraignment next week.

Alec Baldwin and Betty White

All over a shot of Hennessy.

A source says when the rapper was accosted yesterday by cops, he told officers that he'd only had "a shot of Hennessy" before he took the wheel of his GMC Denali.

The cops - in the arrest report obtained by TMZ - said Busta Rhymes had "watery and bloodshot eyes."

After he failed a field sobriety test, the police arrested him, but at the station, he actually blew a 0.067, below the legal limit of 0.08.

He was still charged with operating a vehicle while intoxicated, and one count of operating a motor vehicle while impaired.

After his release on $7,500 bail this afternoon, Busta is expected next Tuesday, when he'll also have to face assault charges on two separate incidents from last year.

Elsewhere on the DUI front, Eve has been officially charged with driving under the influence, stemming from an accident in L.A. last week.

Eve was arrested after she crashed her Maserati into a divider in Hollywood around 2:45 AM. Police sources say her blood alcohol level was nearly twice the legal limit.

And, like 50 Cent, she had no car insurance. But at least Sean Penn paid her a jail house visit. Eve is due back in court May 17. She could face a $1,000 fine and six months in jail.

Meanwhile, TMZ reports that Alec Baldwin won't attend a court hearing in which a judge will decide if he should win back the right to contact his daughter.

Baldwin's right to interact with Ireland was nixed after the judge heard the now-famous voicemail tirade the actor left for his daughter.

A Baldwin source says Alec won't be at the hearing because the lawyers, not the parents, are the ones who will speak. The source added that Ireland is "of paramount importance to him."

Sources also say Kim Basinger will be in court for the hearing.

Alec had a "great two-week visit with Ireland" back in March, a friend says - and after that visit, Baldwin suspended a motion to charge Kim with contempt for allegedly interfering with his parental rights.

Baldwin suspended the motion as a show of good faith. The upshot? He could resurrect the contempt charge in the wake of what went down recently.