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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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To think we used to make a big deal out of the feud between Lauren Conrad and Kristin Cavallari. While the Laguna Beach hotties clearly didn't care for each other in high school, that was nothing compared to this drama.

No, the bitch-fighting and rumors surrounding Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, her ex-roommate and ex-BFF, reaches new heights by the day.

Fake Boobs on Display

The latest rumor, courtesy of Cosmo Girl: A bitter Lauren Conrad make a call... to Heidi's parents. Heidi claims that LC tried to sabotage her budding relationship with Spencer Pratt - and went to absurd lengths to do it.

Lauren Conrad vs. Heidi Montag: The saga continues ...

"They don't show the footage of how Lauren was obsessed with Spencer... or how she called my mom in Colorado and told her I was involved in an abusive relationship," Heidi Montag says in the October issue of the magazine.

A source tells Us Weekly that Montag "found out about LC's call to her folks from her sister Holly" last spring â€" shortly after rumors of a Lauren Conrad sex tape rumors with Jason Wahler (which Montag was accused of starting) emerged.

Was LC out for revenge? Or just acting like a mother hen in regards to her friend? Responds a Lauren Conrad friend, "That's completely ridiculous."

We'd have to agree. Almost as ridiculous as how little Whitney Port is on the show. Come on, MTV! More Whitney scenes! And play more videos.

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We know these are old pictures, but as a tribute to the U.S. Open this month, and to the train wreck that is Britney Spears, we present to you this photo finish....

Which bald individual has the better backhand: A rehab-fleeing, umbrella-wielding Britney Spears, or eight-time grand slam champion Andre Agassi?

These two have gone at it in our celebrity look-alikes feature, but the battle continues. Even if Britney now rocks the weave instead of the cue ball look.

Of course, Andre Agassi had the sense to retire before he became a joke. After Britney Spears' VMA disaster, she might want to give it some thought.

A quiet life with Sean Preston and Jayden James has to be better than this.

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Move over, Hillary Clinton.

50 Cent is singing the praises of another buzzed-about woman - Britney Spears - and saying Kayne West's outburst against her Sunday was unwarranted.

Aspiring Jewish Girl

"He was upset," 50 told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show, referring to West's backstage meltdown. "He's not used to not being recognized. Period."

Kanye West, however, will be recognized in one unlikely place â€" Seacrest announced Wednesday that Kanye will perform at Sunday night's Emmys.

As for 50 and Kanye, both rappers appeared on BET's 106 and Park on Tuesday, and West said he wished he could have opened the VMAs.

"It was always my dream to open the show with 'Stronger' but they talked me into doing the suite thing," he said. "Then when they had Britney Spears open, I said, 'How are you going to have Britney open? Because she's not ready'."

But, according to 50 Cent, Kanye West was out of line.

"[Kanye] expressed that he felt that Britney Spears shouldn't be actually opening the Video Music Awards - almost like he forgot that Britney Spears sold 50 million records. She did," the rapper told Seacrest.

"He is not thinking about her full body of work. She deserved to headline the show better than anybody else that was on it ... even in the state she is in."

Asked if he thinks West will go through with his threatened boycott of MTV, 50 Cent answered: "I don't think he can. I don't think it's possible. I think he [got] carried away in the moment. MTV doesn't need him."

After he appeared with 50 Cent and looking friendly on BET, later that day Kanye West bailed on a scheduled TRL appearance.

"He's nervous," 50 Cent joked about West's cancellation. "You think he had a problem with MTV? Nah. He knew he had to be here today ... He was like, 'You don't want to give me no trophies? Okay, I quit.'"

West also pulled out of a scheduled appearance on the Today show.

A rep for West told the New York Post: "It was a creative decision. There were problems ... Kanye wanted to do things a certain way with an elaborate light show and he would have had to move indoors for that ... He was contrite."

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CAUTION: The faint of heart should avert their eyes from the terrifying pic below. A heinous creature from the Jurassic has mysteriously emerged.

Here, we see Mary-Kate Olsen leaving Barneys New York, where she's out to prove that retail therapy is the best medicine... for osteoporosis.

Mary-Kate Olsen of Weeds

Mary-Kate Olsen continues to sport her signature style: Grandma Chic.

When she finished up her shopping, the more well-known member of The Olsen Twins took off her cataract protective glasses and returned to the set of Weeds, where she will have a recurring role this season.

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Three weeks into fatherhood and two weeks into the NFL season, Tom Brady has a personal problem to tackle: balancing his schedule between studying stolen film of the Jets coaching staff, playing with the New England Patriots and seeing his son, John Edward Thomas Moynahan.

"I kind of cuddled him like a football," the sex god quarterback said to Sports Illustrated about his infant son with ex Bridget Moynahan, born August 22.

Thomas Brady

"I'd love to be out [in L.A.] with him all the time, year-round, but it's hard to make that a reality," the Boston-based Brady says of Los Angeles, where Bridget lives and works.

"I live here. But I will start lobbying for off days throughout the year."

And while Sports Illustrated's Rick Reilly harped on Tom Brady's good looks and status as a babe magnet (who just happens to be dating the world's richest model in Gisele Bundchen), Tom Brady shrugged it off, saying he was actually "a nerd in high school who hardly had a girlfriend!"

We're not buying it for a second. Just like we're not buying Heidi Montag and her engagement to Spencer Pratt. No way those two are getting hitched.

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Man. Just when your smoking hot girlfriend turns 18 and you can legally tap that, she goes and breaks things off. We feel bad for Stephen Colletti.

Well, as bad as we possibly could feel for any dude who has hooked up with Lauren Conrad, Kristin Cavallari and Hayden Panettiere.

A Hayden Panettiere Bikini Pic

Point being: Hayden Panettiere is back on the market.

The Heroes hottie, 18, and her boyfriend of over a year, Laguna Beach alum Stephen Colletti, 21, have gone their separate ways, Us Weekly confirms.

The actress (who spent the end of August promoting Heroes in Europe with co-stars Milo Ventimiglia and Adrian Pasdar) seems to have moved on.

When celebrity news reporters asked, "Where's Stephen?" at the MTV VMAs September 9, she furrowed her brow and replied, "I don't know. California?"

Maybe it's because Hayden and Stephen Colletti had been drifting apart.

"Their breakup has been a long time coming," a pal told Us.

That doesn't mean the former sweethearts are feuding and ready to go all Kid Rock on each other's new boyfriends/girlfriends, though.

"We are still very close friends and talk to each other frequently. We appreciate and support each other's careers," Hayden Panettiere said.

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Only Nick Zano gets to see Kristin Cavallari nude. Bastard.

But hey, at least we get to see the California cutie halfway there.

K-to-the-C

With all the constant attention paid to Lauren Conrad and The Hills, we were starting to wonder where her high school rival disappeared to. Then we came across this Kristin Cavallari photo and it heated up our office like the Laguna Beach sun.

So here you go. Enjoy this picture of a topless, half-naked Kristin Cavallari, but don't expect to finish that project you were working on beforehand ...

Man, Kristin is a hottie. Damn. We've seen enough of Vanessa Hudgens naked by now. Here's a former teen idol we wouldn't mind seeing take her place.

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It's been a long year, but Jayden James Federline has defied critics and unlikely odds in surviving a full calendar year and turning one today, September 12!

Let's take a look back at Jayden James Federline's first year:

Sean Preston and Jayden James Plea For Help

September 12, 2006: Born at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. at 2 a.m., weighing 6 lbs., 11 oz. Cloaked in mystery (and blankets) immediately.

September 20, 2006: Goes home from the hospital and into Britney's Malibu house of horrors. We were thinking his name was Sutton Pierce Federline.

October 24, 2006: We learn Sutton Pierce is really Jayden James. Yeah, we will never live that down. Unless we stop bringing it up.

February 2007: Grainy pics of Jayden James start to emerge here and there, while the tyke visits mom in rehab a couple of times.

March-May 2007: Agencies take many more celebrity photos purportedly of Jayden James, but no confirmed sightings occur.

June 6, 2007: Played in the pool with Brit's quote-unquote cousin, Alli Sims. In other news, Sean Preston had an epic wedgie.

July 9, 2007: Swam naked with Daimon Shippen.

July 21, 2007: The first real, clear photos of Jayden James Federline are released. At 10 months, kid already has more hair than Britney's vagina.

August 1, 2007: Jayden James and Sean Preston appear on their first big magazine cover: Us Weekly! Begging for help, and to be set free!

August 14, 2007: Accompanies mom to dinner, where he has an accident and gets changed as celebrity gossip photographers watch and take pics.

September 4, 2007: Recoils in horror from the back seat of the car as his increasingly insane mom kisses his Spider-man doll.

September 9, 2007: While his crazy mama imploded on stage at the MTV VMAs, then partied in no pants, JJ and his big bro Sean P. celebrated his birthday with a pool party at the home of his relatively sane parent.

Aww. Look at Jayden James. Happy birthday, l'il fella. We're pulling for you.

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Fans of The Hills may disagree on whether they support Team Lauren or Team Heidi (heaven only knows why), but everyone wants to see more Whitney Port.

Why is this beautiful, expressive, funny and surprisingly sage gal so sparingly seen on The Hills? In large part, because that's how Whitney wants it.

Despite being featured - and listed as a star - on all three seasons of The Hills, Whitney appears primarily in the familiar context of her Teen Vogue office.

Whitney has said specifically in several episodes of the MTV The Hills Aftershow that she prefers to keep her personal life - which includes a year-long relationship with one seriously lucky guy - away from the cameras.

Contrast that with Heidi Montag, who can't get in front of them enough.

As far as Whitney's career goes, we all know she was an intern at Teen Vogue for two years, along with her friend and The Hills biggest star, Lauren Conrad.

As documented at the end of Season Two of The Hills, Whitney Port applied for a full-time position at Teen Vogue, which she got, now making her LC's boss.

Before working at Teen Vogue, Whitney Port interned for Women's Wear Daily. She graduated from the University of Southern California in 2007.

She currently lives in L.A. with Christina Schuller, who was also a cast member on Laguna Beach. Rumor has it that she was considering moving in with LC.

Whitney Catherine Port was born March 4, 1985, and raised in Los Angeles, Calif. Whitney's parents, along with her brother, Ryan, and her sisters, Paige, Jade and Ashley, still live in Los Angeles.

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No one was more shocked watching Britney Spears' stinking up the joint at MTV's Video Music Awards Sunday night than the 25-year-old pop "star" herself.

"She was also able to see video of herself playing throughout the auditorium," a backstage source tells Us Weekly.

"She flipped out. She came running off the stage, yelling ‘Oh, my God, I looked like a fat pig! I looked like a fat pig!' She was inconsolable."

We wouldn't that far, but clearly, Spears has no one to blame but herself for her incredibly hyped and disastrous performance at the VMAs.

The lip-synching pop tart showed up late for her big comeback, reports the New York Post - completely unprepared and with a drink in her hand.

On Saturday, the day before the VMAs, Britney Spears was scheduled to arrive at rehearsal at around 1 p.m. You know where this is going.

"She didn't even get to Las Vegas until 4:30 p.m. It was ridiculous," an inside source tells the Post. "The production people at MTV were freaking out. Nobody can tell Britney what to do anymore. No one can control her. She is a mess."

To make matters worse, when she arrived in Vegas, Britney Spears didn't go straight to rehearsals, but instead to the mini-bar
.

"She went to her hotel and ordered a bunch of food and some margaritas," the spy said. "She came down an hour later with a frozen margarita in her hand."

When Spears preformed, she stumbled a couple times and couldn't remember the words she was lip-syncing. She covered her mouth at one point but by the end of the song simply gave up any pretense of singing.

"The dance number was spectacular ... without Britney," said a Post source who witnessed the rehearsal. "When a stand-in was rehearsing with the dancers, in the hours they were all waiting for her, it was amazing. Then Britney showed up and refused to do anything."

Reportedly, the dancers were supposed to lift and twirl Spears in the air a few times, and that just wasn't going to happen in her condition. All of the more complicated dance moves had to be erased because she couldn't cut it.

Meanwhile, Britney Spears grew increasingly agitated because she didn't like the outfit MTV had selected for her. Says a source:

"MTV wanted her to wear a corset. It would have looked great and covered a lot of things up, but she hated it and didn't think it was sexy enough."

Instead, Spears changed into a bra-and-underwear outfit she'd brought with her - one that emphasized her weight gain over the last year.

Yes, Chris Crocker. We know she "had two f*%king kids." We're just sayin' there's a little more junk up in that trunk nowadays.

MTV execs weren't the only ones worried about the impending debacle. Another spy said worried dancers were texting pals, asking them to pray for them.

After the debacle, she allegedly broke down in tears but then partied until 3 a.m. and once again was photographed by paparazzi wearing no underwear.

You know, standard operating procedure.

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