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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip and its Caption Contest, a fun Friday afternoon tradition in which readers must come up with the best caption for a celebrity picture each week. The first edition of the contest didn't disappoint.

We got a lot of great captions this week for sure. Honorable mentions go out to CaptionPlanet, MathiasGorman, TX Chic and alli. But there can be only a single winner (per week) and as this week's, we selected Spencer's Flaccid Weeny (no doubt an homage to the great Spencer Pratt).

The winning caption appears beneath the celebrity photo below. Scroll down for the full list of hilarious replies. Thanks for playing and good luck this week!


"Quick! Gimme a dime bag!!! I need a fix."

:snort:

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Reality TV depicts real people in real environments - be it Toastee Toof and Deelishis on Flavor of Love or Mark Philippoussis on Age of Love.

That said, The Hills can no longer be called reality TV.

We've already seen the infamous Spencer-Heidi LAX dropoff pics (taken mere minutes before her return) and heard earlier today from Gavin Beasley, who went on a date with LC on The Hills and said how blatantly bogus the experience was.

Now, we've come across photos of the lovely Lauren Conrad at an intimate lunch with Whitney Port... and several cameramen, sound men, boom mics, light filters and fixtures, and multiple takes. But it feels like they're not even there!

As you can see above, this how it will look on The Hills ...

... but in real life, some guys from celebrity picture agencies got these shots of LC and Whitney - and a few of their closest production staff friends and their loads of equipment - at lunch on Thursday. Puts it in perspective, no?

Of course, we still love Whitney Port. That much isn't about to change! Wonder if her reported boyfriend, Ben Lyons, was anywhere on hand?

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At least that's how the actress perceives it.

After adamantly stating you'd never see Natalie Portman naked on film, she finally went ahead a nude scene for Wes Anderson's Hotel Chevalier.

Now she regrets it - and says you won't see Natalie Portman nude again.

Unless you're Nathan Bogle, of course. But that's not the point.

"I'm really sorry I didn't listen to my intuition," she said. "From now on, I'm going to trust my gut. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say no."

Yeah, yeah. While we can't help but respect Natalie's morals, we think it's a little premature to write sexy naked movie scenes altogether.

Anyway, here's Natalie Portman naked, sorta, in Hotel Chevalier ...

Natalie Portman Naked

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Singer Amy Winehouse has admits that her trouble with drugs almost killed her - and credits husband Blake Fielder-Civil with keeping her alive.

"I really thought it was over for me then," Winehouse recanted to the German news magazine Stern, referring to the night in August when a bloody melee left her hospitalized. "My husband Blake saved me. He brought me to the hospital."

The "Rehab" pop star canceled several performances after being hospitalized for what her rep described at the time as "exhaustion." Blake Fielder-Civil had rushed the singer to a central London medical center.

Within the month, Amy Winehouse's in-laws opened up about the mad hospital dash, and their daughter-in-law's problems with substance abuse.

"We are in hell," Georgette Fielder-Civil said. He added "People who take drugs don't care about other people but only care about their next fix."

Interviewed in Hamburg prior to a concert there last week, Amy Winehouse found the German reporter staring at the scars on her arms.

"Those are wounds, old wounds. You know. I wasn't well then, in August," Amy Winehouse said. But when the reporter asked if she was now clean of drugs, she snapped: "That's none of your business." Alright, then.

Amy and Blake: Just Hangin' Out

Just days later, the couple were arrested in Norway on October 18 for alleged drug possession. Guess old habits really do die hard for this crazy young pair.

Amy Winehouse also admitted the haze that life has become for her.

"Lots of times I have no idea what I'm doing. Not until the next day do I have any memory," she said. "Blake tells me later what happened. And then I'm ashamed."

Amy Winehouse said she's shocked at the situations she gets into - and says Blake Fielder-Civil often tells her what happened after the fact.

"I recently saw a picture of me when I got out of the hospital. I didn't even recognize myself," she said. "I believe that the pain makes me feel alive. Being willing to suffer for something means that I'm not just apathetic about them."

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When celebrities wear the same hot dresses, our staffers have no choice but to do a celebrity fashion face-off. Especially if it's a couple of cuties like Jessica Simpson and Hayden Panettiere donning the stuff. But who will prevail?

The Heroes actress hit the streets of Manhattan in her "What Comes Around Goes Around minidress back in September, while the "singer" dazzled in a very similar sequined minidress at a Clothes Off Our Backs event in L.A. Peep it:

Celebrating Simpsons

Who wore it better, Hayden or Jessica? You tell us!

If you ask The Hollywood Gossip, we'd have to take Hayden Panettiere. We like our celebrity fashion goddesses young, and compared to the Heroes star, Jessica is downright menopausal. Sorry, Jessica, you're sooooooo 2001.
Plus, Hayden has an I.Q. over 75 and doesn't get fingered by Cheri Oteri.

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If it weren't for Dina Lohan, she'd have the title wrapped up easily. But Lynne Spears is still one of the frontrunners for that (dis)honor.

The mother of Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears will have no shortage of material as she pens her personal tell-all of trying to whore out raise famous daughters.

Lynne and Britney had a falling out in June, when Britney delivered an upsetting letter to her mother following months of erratic behavior and a brief stay in rehab - which Britney blames Lynne Spears for.

Having only recently reconciled with the troubled "singer," the divorced Lynne has inked a lucrative book deal with the publisher Thomas Nelson, according to People.

Publishers Marketplace describes the new book as "Lynne Spears' personal story of trying to exploit and make tons of money off raising high-profile children while coming from a low-profile Louisiana community."

Thomas Nelson also publishes Bibles, as well as inspirational (Christian) books and some celebrities' work including Bill Cosby, according to Gawker.com.

The book is set to be published in spring 2008, right around the time we expect Britney Spears to land back in rehab after overdosing on meth.

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Remember Gavin Beasley, the boy that hung out on the beach and went on a date with Lauren Conrad on the last episode of The Hills?

Well, turns out he wasn't "interesting" enough for her to keep seeing, despite being a good guy.

As for how Gavin Beasley sees it? The model chatted with Best Week Ever about Lauren and - this is a familiar theme of late - the phoniness of The Hills that goes on behind the scenes.

Here's what Gavin Beasley says about Lauren Conrad and The Hills:

"I honestly had a really hard time talking to her. She's kind of a conversation killer, and when the cameras are rolling, all conversation is kept firmly on the surface.

She talked about how mean Perez Hilton was, and how you have to be nice to the paparazzi so they don't release the uglier pictures of you. I don't know. Pop culture, Red Bull, stuff like that. In fact, the most interesting thing I got out of her was that she isn't allowed to eat ice cream because her trainer told her she can't. What you see is really what you get with these people. Lots of fascinating discussion about "the club," Vegas, getting drunk, Heidi Montag is evil, and so on. The lack of depth was actually uncomfortable for me. Like, how can nothing be everything you talk about? OH, I forgot - lots of talk about Lauren's clothing line. That's pretty important, right?"

Ouch. That's a little harsh! Gavin Beasley also had some remarks about Brody Jenner, who was seen ripping him pretty good on the show:

"The interesting thing is Brody, off camera, was a pretty chill guy. When the show came out and he was saying stuff about me - like I was short, too perfect, boring, etc. - I didn't get pissed because I know that's solely done for The Hills. He creates drama and a story. That's why he's there."

The Hollywood Gossip Note: Following that line of thinking, Spencer Pratt must be there to help The Hills boost its score on the douchebag meter. Do you believe Gavin in his belief that The Hills is completely fake?

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Just kidding. Even Britney Spears can refrain from parading around with no pants in a courtroom. At least we would hope so. No guarantees.

As predicted, a misdemeanor hit and run charge against Britney was settled and dismissed at a court hearing in Van Nuys, California, on Thursday.

Spears the Shopper

The 25-year-old "singer" also pleaded not guilty to a misdemeanor count of driving without a valid California license at the same hearing.

Britney Spears, who did not attend the hearing in person (she's busy you know), entered the plea through her attorney, Michael Flanagan.

In August, Britney Spears crashed her car into a station wagon, slightly damaging it, in a private Studio City, Calif., parking lot.

Spears intended to settle wit Kim Robard-Rifkin, 59, a nurse who learned about the incident after it was captured by celebrity photo agencies.

In light of the settlement, the hit-and-run charge against her was dropped. But some say Britney Spears may not be so lucky regarding the license issue.

A source close to case said that Flanagan, Spears' attorney, planned to present documents proving Britney now has a valid license (which Sam Lutfi took her to get) in hopes of reducing the charge to a traffic citation.

But the L.A. City Attorney â€" who insists just because Britney Spears has now obtained a license doesn't excuse the fact that she drove without it â€" wants to slap the singer with a 12-month probation term and fine.

She is due back in court on the matter November 26. Spears is also due in court today, when she and Kevin Federline are expected to appear in front of Judge Scott M. Gordon about their custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James.

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Daniel Dae Kim, who stars as Jin-Soo Kwon on Lost, was nabbed by the Honolulu police department Thursday morning on suspicion of drunken driving.

According to the Honolulu Advertiser, Kim was arrested around 3:00 a.m., and at the time was wearing a polo shirt and khaki shorts. Kim was released about two hours later, seen in video trying to hide his face as he left. Details of the arrest of Daniel Dae Kim were not immediately available, but his mug shot is...

Daniel Dae Kim Mug Shot

Daniel Dae Kim: Giving Riley Giles a run for his mug shot glory.

Daniel Dae Kim is now the fourth member of the cast of Lost to be arrested. Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros were arrested for DUI in December 2005, when police spotted their vehicles weaving along a local road.

Both pleaded guilty to the charges, and were then "lost" from the show soon after. Man, that was a creative one on the part of The Hollywood Gossip.

Then, in September of 2006, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje was arrested and accused of disobeying a police officer and driving without a license.

Those charges were later dropped... but he was still dropped from the show as his character was killed off. Then again, so are many characters.

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How much would you spend for a piece of Britney Spears?

Assuming she wouldn't sleep with you on the first date. Just kidding.

The "singer" is planning to auction off diaries and a slew of other personal belongings, her friend Sam Lutfi tells celebrity photo agency X17.

Sam Lutfi says that Britney Spears would like to donate proceeds "to a children's cause" that she'll announce at a later date.

Ironic, since she can't be bothered with her own children.

It is unknown when the auction will kick off and what Britney Spears items will be up for grabs. Maybe she should just sell off poor Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline while she's at it. Talk about a win-win situation!

"It's something Britney wanted to do to counterbalance all the rumors and negativity in the press," Sam Lutfi tells the celebrity photo agency.

"All she can do is be herself, love her kids and do small things like this to help people," Sam Lutfi said, apparently leaving out "stop parading around with no underwear and getting hammered every night of the week."

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