Free Britney

Free Britney

Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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After reportedly spending a day working in a dance studio, Britney Spears stopped in to a convenience store in Studio City, Calif., Thursday for an energy boost (below, left). 

The Circus

Hopefully, that "boost" was just Red Bull, but didn't include any vodka. Otherwise, our girl Britney could be in for another random display of exhibitionism (leading to some tremendous nude pictures), or another sudden bout of "tiredness" akin to her New Year's debacle.

Recently, the singer has been more play than business - as we're sure you know. So much so that she's come under fire from Kevin Federline (really) for not being around their kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James, enough.

Instead, she's been hitting the club scene with new guy Isaac Cohen (above, right) or whom she recently bought some sexy lingerie. Despite rumors that they broke up, the couple appears to be going strong.

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Such when you thought the younger, more robotic half of TomKat was getting ready to pull the most blatant "I'm a slut looking for attention" move in the book, she goes and throws the paparazzi for a loop!

Wearing a full length dress, not a miniskirt, she somehow still managed to nearly show us everything underneath while stepping out of the car in this pic, but there was no crotch shot to be seen, no channeling of her inner Britney Spears to be displayed.

Feeble

There wasn't even a thong. Guess not every celebrity thinks they have to be a commando queen in order to stay in the spotlight. Or make a sex tape featuring themselves.

As you can see, Katie Holmes is sporting some seriously supportive, full-coverage underwear in this pic. So weak. She can do better than this. Come on girl. Can't you at least take a cue from Victoria Beckham and show off a little skin?

Then again, we're not sure we want to see that alien-producing Asian baby factory either. Much as we love Suri Cruise, it's just kind of lost its appeal at this point.

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Stop the presses. And lock your doors.

Michael J. Walks

Michael Jackson is back in the United States of America, and no one seems to know exactly where. Perhaps even Michael himself.

Yes, the one-time King of Pop could be right around the corner from you. But most likely he's not. You would probably have noticed the hordes of people shrieking in abject terror by now.

You never know, though, and Jackson refused to reveal his whereabouts in a call with the Associated Press yesterday, except to say that he's back in the U.S. Come on, America. Pick it up. Can't we keep people like Jackson and Anna Nicole Smith out after they leave voluntarily?

For security reasons, said Wacko Jacko's representative, he wouldn't say where in the land of the free he is. But we're guessing it's probably not his freak-show ranch.

Recently, the regularly indicted, never convicted child molester has been spotted in Georgia (for James Brown's funeral) Las Vegas (to spend lots of money he thinks he has) and other locations. In March, Jackson is going to Japan, where humans will for some reason pay $3,300 apiece just to shake his hand.

Do they not know where that diseased, gloved hand has been? At the very least, it's been all over his crazy ex-wife - and heaven only knows where else.

Even more bizarrely, during the call, a reporter was allowed only one question to Jackson, which was, "How are you?"

Jackson's response: "I'm fine, thank you."

Wow. What a riveting exchange. Let's give this journalist a Pulitzer. While we're at it, let's give Brooke Hogan a Grammy and annoint Britney Spears mother of the year.

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Simon Cowell has never been one to keep things to himself, but when his fellow American Idol judge, Paula Abdul, gets rambling, the surly Brit can't get a word in edgewise. Hence, he's relegated to wishing the ex-Laker girl would just shut the g*d damn hell up.

And wishing he could have a drink about now....

Karen Rodriguez, Naima Adedapo and Haley Reinhart

The fact that the show's poor, innocent contestants have to see and listen to Paula Abdul drunk is bad enough. But for Simon and fellow judge Randy Jackson, who have to sit next to her and put up with such nonsense night in and night out, the seemingly unending American Idol auditions must be hell.

We hope young beauties with substance abuse problems such as Tara Conner and Lindsay Lohan are watching this display. Lay off the booze, gals, or you might end up like this train wreck in about 10 years.

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The Hollywood Gossip is renowned for breaking new ground, for defining its own boundaries. If we want to expand our Celebrity Look-Alikes to include three people at once, we're not afraid to pull the trigger!

Here are three blonde cuties you have probably heard of, and who are a combined 62 years old. In other words, old enough to make you feel dirty looking at this... though Hayden Panettiere (who does not appear here) is only 17. Think about that.

Looking Lost

Anyway, from left to right, here are aspiring actress and Laguna Beach alumna Kristin Cavallari, former American Idol finalist Kellie Pickler, and High School star Ashley Tisdale. That's the reality show, not your actual high school. Sorry, guys.

Chances are, you'll be hearing more from these three in coming years.

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While her husband, Keith Urban, may be a walking train wreck, Nicole Kidman was involved in an actual car wreck set of her latest film, The Invasion, in L.A. last night.

Nicole Kidman, who was shaken up but not seriously injured, was taken to Cedars Sinai Medical Center in an SUV, and was released within two hours.

Nicole Kidman is Spanish Gold

Sources say that Kidman's 11-year-old son, Connor Cruise, and 14-year-old daughter, Isabella Cruise, visited the set earlier in the day. They were not present at the time of the accident.

At the time of the incident, the former wife of Tom Cruise was filming a scene in which she's driving a Jaguar, trying to escape some zombie-like characters hanging off the hood.

No word on whether Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham are playing said characters.

The vehicle was being towed by a rig in order to give the appearance that the actress was really driving. At around midnight, the driver operating the rig skidded while taking a corner at roughly 45 mph, causing Kidman's car to hit a pole and knock over a garbage can.

This story isn't quite as tragic as when Brandy got into a car crash and killed someone. Or as funny as when Nicole Richie got high on weed and Vicodin and drove the wrong way on the freeway. But hell, it's a slow day.

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The story floating around the Internet this week might make a person feel bad for Paris Hilton, but that implies two things:

  • You would ever feel bad for that waste Paris Hilton.
  • This is not a complete load of crap.

The horrible heiress claims that because she forgot to pay a $208 fee to a storage facility, the company sold her belongings. Which just happened to include sex tapes, nude pics showing hard core girl on girl action, personal diaries, etc.

Cy Waits and Paris Hilton

Now this would be a crazy invasion of privacy, but you can't really believe Stavros Niarchos' girlfriend isn't 100 percent behind it. Consider the following points:

  1. Multimillionaires with mansions do not need storage facilities.
  2. Even if they did, Paris wouldn't store her f*%king diary and pictures in it.
  3. Her only claim to fame is being a slut, therefore the release of new sex videos and raunchy, possibly nude pics at this time is a logical progression.

Case closed. This is no different from the original Paris Hilton sex tape, 1 Night in Paris, which she was "not behind" but still made money off of. Skank.

Anyway, here's a picture of Paris Hilton's breasts on a boat with Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild. There's a match made in heaven right there. As for Paris Hilton's pussy, we haven't seen that piece - but there's no doubt it's in one of the videos "stolen" from her.

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Yes, we would. And we are looking forward to the upcoming commercial starring FedEx as a fast food worker. But not everyone is psyched about it.

Real-life fast food employees are reportedly K-Fed up over the Super Bowl ad that features The Gossip's favorite loser as a lowly fry cook at a fake burger joint.

31 and Proud

In the 30-second spot for Nationwide Insurance, FedEx dresses in a pimp-style black striped suit and fedora, daydreaming of becoming a rap superstar. But then the failed freeloader snaps out of it and returns to reality - where he's working at the faux "Tomy's Burgers" in a rough Los Angeles neighborhood.

Restaurant employees aren't loving this PR.

"A sudden change in Federline's career could have been depicted with him holding an unemployment benefit check," said Annika Stensson of the National Restaurant Association.

"It shouldn't be necessary to disrespect others to get a point across. It's insulting to the 12.8 million restaurant workers in America. It's a negative, unfair and inaccurate reflection. It's not Kevin Federline we take issue with, but the depiction of where he ends up."

And workers at fast-food restaurants across the city agree, saying Federline should be the last one to judge their job choice because he married into money.

Some workers agree. One McDonald's server said she was furious that K-Fed - who was a delivery boy at Pizza Hut before meeting Britney Spears at an L.A. club - made it seem like her job was hardly an accomplishment.

"There's a lot to the job - we have to be quick, keep it clean, keep it fast, keep the food hot," Norma Ortiz, 18, who plans to study medicine at college in the fall, told the New York Post.

Nationwide said the ad is simply a humorous take on one person's life.

"In this commercial we use a humorous characterization of Kevin Federline's life to encourage others to prepare for sudden changes in their lives," said spokesman Eric Hardgrove. "The intent of the ad isn't to offend or insult the fine individuals who work in the restaurant industry. The focus of the ad is the element of surprise, not the setting of a fast food chain."

Our take: At least the father of Jayden James and Sean Preston is doing something to make some money on his own - ironically, by making fun of himself for losing his meal ticket.

Although companies tend to keep their Super Bowl commercials top secret until they air, Nationwide will premiere its ad early, next Monday, on its website. We're hoping for a sequel where K-Fed works at the gas station.

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Forget TomKat. We haven't seen that couch-jumping freak in weeks.

We are all about PoshKat now.

Victoria Beckham Fashion

Oh yes. The pair of A-list wives, who are quickly morphing into robotic drones before our eyes, came together once again this week. The once-hot Victoria Beckham and the once-cute Katie Holmes took their BFF lovefest tour to Paris, known as the City of Scientology Lights. Below are some pictures of these loons:

 

The ladies (left), dressed in basic black, caused their usual flashbulb frenzy on Tuesday as they arrived for the opening of a new Armani store in Paris. The emaciated but fashionable wife of David Beckham sported an au courant bubble-shaped dress, while Katie donned the latest in K-Mart chic. Good times.

Later, Holmes (right) makes a stunning arrival sans husband Tom Cruise in head-to-toe white for the Armani fashion show. Which we're sure was awesome.

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Is it possible that getting beaten by Taylor Hicks on American Idol has made Katharine McPhee so insecure that sheld consider joining Hollywood's trendy "religion" just to impress a man?

That's what she told Salon.com recently in an interview, admitting she looked into Scientology because of some dude. She did not comment on who said dude is.

Megan Joy Corkrey Pic

"I took a couple of courses. It was really all about a guy." McPhee said. "It was a guy that I was totally obsessed with - not obsessed with but totally into and, you know, guys and girls can do that to our lives and make us think we're into something that we're not."

Ah yes. Of course, love can make you do crazy things. Like jump up and down on couches, scare the bejesus out of Matt Lauer, criticize an innocent actress for being depressed, emphasizing that there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance, and so on and so forth.

In any case, it's good that Katharine McPhee hasn't gone overboard.

"I'm not a Scientologist," McPhee said. "I've clarified this rumor over and over again, but people will keep saying that I am, but whatever."

Hmm. Sounds like something a Scientology believer would say. Especially one with a supposed friendship with the most famous Scientologists, TomKat.

"I actually did meet them the other day and they were the nicest people I think I've probably ever met," McPhee said, adding that contrary to prior reports, she did not sing at their wedding.

Maybe more clues will be revealed when she releases her up-coming oft-delayed debut album, Katharine McPhee. Tom Cruise could not be reached by The Gossip for comment on this story.

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