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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Brandon Davis, a.k.a. "Greasy Bear," reportedly decided in the recent past that he was rather unhappy with what his image had devolved to.

That being a worthless, spoiled rich oil heir and friend of Paris Hilton with a propensity for vile outbursts and sweating like a pig.

Trouble for Brandon Davis

The New York Post's Page Six reports that the ball of lard has been on a diet and was proud to show off his "leaner form" at a party the other night ... where he only drank water.

Normally, we revere the Post. Their sleuths break many stories, including the Stray-Rod / Joslyn Noel Morse scandal and the revelation that Shar Jackson may be pregnant again.

But come on guys. Brandon Davis? Leaner form? You gotta be kidding, right? April Fool's was two months ago. Are you smoking up with Nicole Richie or something?

Here's Greasy Bear in a screen capture from his infamous "Firecrotch" rant (in which he immortalized Lindsay Lohan as such) in May 2006. That incident is on the left. Compare it to this picture of a "svelte" Davis taken at a Hollywood party Tuesday.

Wow, you can really see the difference. Not. Preparing to light a cigarette despite being drenched in oil, this guy is still greasier than Spencer Pratt, albeit less conniving.

Although he may have bribed the Post to discuss his "leanness." That's the only explanation we can think of. What's next, Kevin Federline, Rhodes scholar?

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Okay, so it's a relative thing... but there's no escaping the fact that Nicole Richie looks sort of, almost, kinda like a human being. You know, rather than the skeletal remains we're used to.

Photoshop and bad lighting sure can do remarkable things.

The directionally-challenged, drugged-up motorist was spotted Tuesday with beau Joel Madden while leaving the posh Kate Somerville spa in Beverly Hills.

Aside from the somewhat alien-like protrusion coming out of her left wrist, she looked the picture of health. Well sort of. Step in the right direction at least.

You go, spa! Nice work! Someone send Britney Spears there... it's not like she has anything to do, like work on a career or raise two little kids or something.

Joel Madden, on the other hand, not quite as lovely as the skinny Richie. The Good Charlotte frontman was his signature unshaven self with some splotchy red patches and what appears to be a tattoo (or maybe a hickey... oooh) behind his ear.

Come to think of it, most people look healthy standing next to a rocker who does everything he can to look trashy. Which works for his act, don't get us wrong. Just saying.

Jennifer Meyer could stand next to him and look hot.

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Happy creatures of habit, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes enjoyed yet another dinner at Wolfgang Puck's CUT steakhouse Tuesday.

Chances are, their steaks were pretty damn good. ** Bad segue alert ** Unlike another cut Katie Holmes is sporting nowadays.

As photographers snapped the A-listers exiting the eatery, Katie - like Rihanna, Jenna Jameson and others - revealed her age-defying Posh Spice-style new bob hairstyle.

It's not too shocking that Holmes - a noted pal of Victoria Beckham - would adopt the former Spice Girl's style. Check out these before and after comparisons of PoshKat below...

Hey, it could be worse. Morphing into Posh Spice is one thing. That sure as hell beats turning into a submissive, mute alien being. What would Suri Cruise say about that?

Tell us, fans, what do you think of Katie Holmes' new 'do?

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Britney Spears. Crotch shot. Pink panties. My, how certain words just seem to come together and gravitate towards one another.

Having already showed off her bad ass (self) as well as given us a lovely nipple slip to talk about this week, the pretty pop princess wasn't done.

With this fine crotch shot, Britney Spears had a bright pink message for celebrity gossip gawkers everywhere. That message: hit me baby, one more time!

PHOTO CREDIT: INFDaily.com / TMZ

Yes, the woman that Jayden James and Sean Preston Federline are forced to call "mom," continued her public flesh-baring display as she left a nail appointment in L.A. yesterday.

Classy. Expect a new feud with Lynne Spears to begin any moment now.

We suppose it's good, at least, that she's got something on up that skirt this time. A step in the right direction. After all, only a few dozen lucky men in the flesh and a few hundred million Internet viewers have seen the uncensored crotch shot.

Better to keep that total down, Britney. Good call, girl. In the meantime, The Hollywood Gossip is starting a pool to bet on when we next write about Britney Spears nude. This gossiper is predicting sometime tomorrow around 11:00 AM PDT.

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Celebrities. They're just like us. They hang out with their friends! Only in their case, those buddies are also celebrities. In our case, they're just celebrity gossip writers. Oh well.

Here's a look at some notable celebrity BFFs ...

Men (like Paul Sculfor) may come and go, but everyone knows that best friends are forever. Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox-Arquette have long been tight on and off the screen. Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire, meanwhile, are two low-key celebs, but have been spotted chilling together quite often recently.

Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton

Ever since they co-wrote and co-starred in Good Will Hunting, Boston natives Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have been inseparable. The same can't be said for socialites Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, but they were totally, like, best friends at one point - bonded by mutal love for hooking up with dozens of guys, being rich and partying a lot.

Jessica Simpson, CaCee Cobb

Growing up in Texas, Jessica Simpson and CaCee Cobb were good friends. As Jess made it big, she brought along CaCee as her personal assistant! The Hills' Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag were roommates and two of reality TV's closest gal pals... until the slimy Spencer Pratt burst on the scene and stole Heidi's soul. But it's not all sad, folks - at least Hayden Panettiere and Rumer Willis are hitting it off of late!

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Lynne Spears, Britney SpearsFor the first time since their reported rift over Britney Spears' stint in rehab, her mother, Lynne Spears, has broken her silence.

Guess it's a day for stories about bad parents.

We already talked about Paris Hilton's visiting her in the can. Now Lynne Spears is ready to talk about some of the difficulties her famous daughter has faced in the past year.

"You go into a time in your life with the world watching and you are just trying to figure yourself out," Lynne Spears told Us Weekly.

"It's sad that the whole world had to watch Britney make mistakes that all of us have made at one time or another."

We're not sure all of us have provided paparazzi with repeated crotch shots and nipple slips. Nor has anyone on our staff ever slept with J.R. Rotem. Anyway.

Earlier this year, the pop star found herself in a downward spiral ending a wild public meltdown that featured video footage of her shaving her head in a California salon and lashing out against a photographer's car, attacking with an umbrella.

She checked into rehab shortly thereafter.

It turns out, to Lynne Spears' dismay, that Britney Spears' famous blond locks weren't the only thing the mother of two cut off at that time.

"She decided that she had to cut out everyone who was using her, and that included her parents," says a source close to Britney Spears.

The estrangement was especially hard on the pop star's mother.

"Lynne was like Britney's best friend, so when Britney started partying and her mom tried to control her, she got mad," a family source says.

Happily, the two reconciled June 10, speaking for the first time in months. Quietly, Jayden James' grandma and mama are taking the first steps back toward a peaceful relationship.

Despite the hardship, Lynne says she and her daughter are coping.

"Britney Jean Spears is the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving of all my children," the mother of three - Brit has a brother, Brian, and a sister, Jamie Lynn Spears - tells Us Weekly.

"She's just figuring things out."

Wonder if she's figured out that Shar Jackson is pregnant again!

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Kevin Federline may be sick - and that could last for about nine months when he reads this - but someone's gotta break the news.

Shar Jackson is pregnant.

K-Fed and Victoria Prince Photo

That's the report coming straight out of the New York Post, TMZ.com and numerous other reputable celebrity gossip sources. Oxymoronic as that sounds... would it shock you? The guy's boys can frickin' swim.

Report has it that Kevin Federline has planted his seen for the fifth time, knocking up the mother of his first two children.

He ditched the D-list actress for Britney Spears a few years back, but as soon as his divorce from the pop star became official, FedEx reportedly embarked on an on-again, off-again, and (for Shar lately) very much on-again romance with the shining Shar.

And the rekindled passion seems to have produced yet another baby between them. So much for those rumors of an impending Spears-Federline reconciliation.

The Post's Cindy Adams claims Shar Jackson is already "into her seventh week, and at the instant I write this, he doesn't know." She cites Shar in Star, saying that she's hoping "this brings them back together as a family."

Gag. We'll have more on this as it develops. We're can't wait to learn if a fifth K-Spawn will join Kori, Kaleb, Sean Preston and Jayden James.

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The son of Anne Heche will live with his father, Coley Laffoon, in Los Angeles while the actress works in Canada, a judge ruled in the strange actress' bitter divorce case.

Under the temporary arrangement, Anne Heche, who had asked to have 5-year-old Homer live with her and attend school in Vancouver, will have alternate weekend visitation rights while the ABC show shoots.

When she returns to Los Angeles after filming ends, she and her estranged husband, Coley Laffoon, will have joint custody pending the outcome of their divorce trial.

Men in Trees, which stars Heche and her current boyfriend, James Tupper, begins filming in Canada in mid-July and will wrap up around next March.

The custody arrangement was approved by the Superior Court judge in a closed-door hearing Monday, according to lawyers in the case.

"Coley Laffoon is pleased with the result of the hearing," his attorney, Jon Summers, tells People, adding that Laffoon was awarded an undisclosed amount of child and spousal support.

"Homer is going to remain in Los Angeles and attend school here."

Laffoon, 33, filed for divorce in February, triggering a brutal custody dispute. He has questioned Heche's sanity and parenting skills, accusing the actress of resorting to lies to win custody of and destroy his relationship with their son.

Someone's gotta get Coley and Alec Baldwin together for some drinks.

The former videographer, who says he was making just $6,000 a year when he quit his job to take care of Homer, sought primary custody and at least $33,000 a month in support, according to court papers.

Heche, who has defended her parenting, has claimed he was actually seeking $45,000 a month and that his cravings for strippers, poker and masturbating to online porn kept him from properly raising Homer.

Well, those are some concerns. Talk about a rock and a hard place! And to think we thought Jayden James Federline had some screwed up parents!

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Why run a story about a non-controversial star like Claire Danes and her boyfriend enjoying a new, fun hobby ?

Because not every piece of celebrity gossip involves British babes in Nuts magazine or descriptions of the daily Britney Spears nipple slip photos.

Deal with it.

In any case, Danes and Hugh Dancy seem to be getting along swimmingly. You could say they're diving into the world of romance... yet still getting their feet wet.

If you're wondering when we're going to run out of these bad puns, don't hold your breath. It will happen around the time Lindsay Lohan grows up.

After attending a spate of press events in the last few days, the largely Hollywood gossip-free couple are planning a scuba-diving vacation.

"I've never scuba-dived, but hopefully, I'm going to. The day after tomorrow," Dancy told People Monday at a Cinema Society screening of their film Evening. "I'm going on a holiday."

Asked if Claire Danes was going with him on the vacation, Dancy said: "Yes."

But the actor, who just wrapped up a stint in the Tony award-winning play Journey's End, was coy about their exact destination.

When asked if the getaway was to an island, Dancy would only say, "It's not a landlocked country."

He added: "I've never done scuba, but I'm not very good at those holidays where you do absolutely nothing, so I figure I'd learn to swim underwater."

And Claire Danes supports her beau's adventurous side. Backstage at Sunday's Tony Awards in the gift lounge, she requested an Invicta diving watch for Dancy.

Dancy and Danes began dating while filming Evening in Newport, R.I.

"We hadn't met before," Dancy said Monday. "It's an amazing place."

Danes, a Gwyneth Paltrow look-alike, recently told People that she and Dancy "just happened upon each other because we were friends." Dancy said of the relationship:

"I'm having a great time."

Aww. You see? Not every celebrity has a contrived, fake relationship fueled by gossip and staged photos. Talking to you, Heidi Montag.

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The incomparable Britney Spears was hanging out in Hollywood Monday night.

Literally!

Peepin' It

Dressed in what appears to be a satin bed sheet of some kind and very little else, the princess must have known we were getting a bit bored with our recent articles about her.

After all, she was nice enough to provide us with a yet another nice nipple slip (see below), then later, as an encore, she flashed her rear end while getting into her car!

The mother of Sean Preston and Jayden James Federline had no bra on, obviously, but at least put on panties. Which for most is a given, but with Britney, you never know!

The latest boob and ass flashing came as Britney exited Joseph's in Hollywood last night. Deliberately or not, we can't say - but that once-fine ass was dangled tantalizingly in front of a horde photographers as she hopped into her car. A class act as always!

According to TMZ, the crowd of paparazzi could even be heard groaning as her ample back side made a very special appearance. Now that is (a) bad ass!

At least her awful hair extensions were held in place by a paisley scarf, adding a Gypsy flavor to an already whore-able ensemble. Top it off with trampy hoop earrings and a gold purse, and this MILF is ready to get crunked... Y'all!

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