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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Welcome, celebrity news and gossip fans, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, our Friday tradition.

This week's Caption Contest winner is slayerbarbie. Congrats! The winning entry appears below the picture!

The full list of replies appears further down the page. Thanks to all for playing and good luck again this week!

We're selling Hills body parts here! Original Hills body parts for sale! We have Jen Bunney's lips. We have Audrina's breasts. We have Heidi's lips, breasts, nose, shoulders, legs, feet, toes ...

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The norm always gets boring - even if the norm is sleeping with (and living with) three unwed Playboy bunnies at one's leisure.

Yes, Hugh Hefner is reportedly falling for the "charms" of a woman outside his trio of girlfriends. The National Enquirer says he has been paying a lot of attention to a sexy, brunette Ukranian model named Dasha Astafieva.

That piece of info alone should raise a red flag - and not only is Astafieva a brunette, she may even have real boobs - but numerous European sources are also reporting Hef's hot and heavy romance with the Playboy mogul.

Check out these pics of Dasha Astafieva and you'll see why ...

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This great Audrina Patridge bikini photo below really needs no explanation, but we feel obligated to mention a few points:

  1. Yes, it's actually her. Go see many more pics here.
  2. We don't know specifically where this rooftop pool it in L.A., but it must have a gigantic neon exclaiming "DOUCHEBAGS ONLY!"
  3. Despite these apparent, mandatory entrance requirements (as stipulated in point #2), Justin-Bobby is not present.
  4. This is one EE-normous side boob alert. Good grief.

Okay, we're done. Enjoy:

Audrina Photograph
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Clay Aiken's baby mama, Jaymes Foster, has given birth!

Aiken's mother told a local Raleigh, N.C., TV station that the American Idol runner-up is the proud papa of a baby boy named Parker Foster Aiken.

Ryan Shawhughes, Baby

Jaymes Foster, Clay's 50-year-old record producer BFF, who he impregnated via artificial insemination, gave birth at 8:08 a.m. today - 08/08/08!

Aiken's mother, Faye, said the dark-haired Parker weighs 6 lbs., 2 oz., and is 19" long. She says Clay is "smiling from ear-to-ear" over this.

Mom, dad and baby all are doing fine. Aiken, 29, announced they were expecting - or at least it was revealed - around the end of May.

Clay Aiken and Jaymes Foster, who met when the former starred on American Idol in 2003, will reportedly raise their little spawn together.

UPDATE: Clay Aiken has posted this his official fan site: "HE'S HERE! My dear friend, Jaymes, and I are so excited to announce the birth of Parker Foster Aiken (No hyphens. One first name. One middle name. One last name.) Parker, whose name is his grandmother Faye's middle name, weighed 6 lbs., 2 oz. and was 19 inches long. He was born at 8:08 a.m. Wow ... 8:08 ... 08/08/08. The little man is healthy, happy, and as loud as his daddy. Mama Jaymes is doing quite well also."

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Of Lauren Conrad's many "professions" - reality TV star, celebrity gossip staple, certified cutie - celebrity fashion designer is well down the list.

But even after her fashion line was dropped by one high-profile retailer, it appears Hollywood still has faith in her - 22-year-old LC has been tapped to design the gowns worn by the trophy girls at the Emmys in September.

Kylie Jenner Fashion

The Hills star is also presenting an award during the show.

Lauren Conrad is "honored and excited" by the request. So far, her clothing line has been limited to simple, ready-to-wear separates and dresses, but designing a couture look is daunting. It will be interesting to see if she's up to it.

LC's confident she can craft "a red carpet look that reflects the simple, classic design of the Lauren Conrad Collection, but with a black tie twist."

Some established designers are skeptical of Lauren Conrad.

One big name, Sue Wong, didn't mince words during L.A. Fashion Week, saying she didn't believe in "reality TV stars turning into designers."

Here's wishing The Hills star luck. Prove the haters wrong!

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Most people would love an extended visit to the Turks & Caicos islands. One celeb's hothead dad wishes he could get off.

Following the amazing Nikki Blonsky fight last week, her pop has tried like hell to bolt Turks & Caicos - but there he stays.

The bail hearing for Carl Blonsky took place today. The Turks and Caicos Sun (great newspaper name) reported that Carl was willing to put up $75,000 - his entire savings - to avoid any jail time. A judge had none of it.

The judge in Providenciales Magistrates' Court just ruled that Carl Blonsky will have to wait until August 19 to post bail.

Nikki Blonsky was not in the T&C for the hearing.

Earlier reports today stated that her dad was likely to make bail because of his kidney condition, which requires close monitoring.

But because of the type of crime he's accused of (grievous bodily harm) after the bitchtastic fight in the T&C airport, forget about it.

The victim of Carl's attack, former America's Next Top Model star Bianca Golden's mother Eleine, remains in a Miami hospital's ICU.

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This week featured many quality celebrity quotes, but the best had to be this declaration from Matthew McConaughey last night:

"[Levi] was gonna stay home, but then he said, 'Dad, I wanna go support mom's purses!' At 30 days old, he's talking about stuff like that!"

Camila and Levi

Classic. MM was referring to month-old son Levi, who made his red carpet debut at the launch of Camila Alves' handbag line, MUXO.

At Kitson in L.A., a surprisingly clothed McConaughey walked straight through the red carpet, carrying the baby and took him inside...

Matthew and Levi support Camila's big night.

The night was a success for the whole McConaughey clan. Follow this link for an in-depth look at one of the featured Camila Alves handbags ...

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She's not just the fiance to Matthew McConaughey and mother to Levi Alves McConaughey. Camila Alves is an aspiring handbag designer, too!

The Brazilian beauty launched new handbag line, MUXO, at the trendy boutique Kitson in L.A. last night. Here's one of her signature offerings ...

Britney Spears, Plaid Shirt

What do you think of Camila Alves' handbag: love it or shove it?

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The war of words between Michael Lohan and CNN anchor Anderson Cooper doesn't appear to be going away - or getting any less funny.

While guest-hosting Live with Regis & Kelly, Anderson Cooper went off the Lohans, calling their reality show, Living Lohan, a "train wreck."

No argument here. But then he offered up this quote re: Ali Lohan:

"Allegedly a 14-year-old girl, who looks to be about 60, and I say that with concern and love," Anderson said of Lindsay's younger sister.

"She allegedly wants to be a singer and or actor-slash-performer of some sort ... striptease person, I don't even know."

Ali's mother, Dina Lohan, fired back at the CNN newsman, telling OK! Magazine, "People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him."

Rather than letting this fizzle out and moving on to something important, Anderson Cooper kept the war of words going on his show, AC360:

"Let me just reiterate, I feel bad for the 14-year-old daughter. She seems like a nice person, but she should be a kid, not in a [reality show]," he said.

That's when Ali Lohan's father, and Dina's ex, Michael Lohan, came to the teenager's defense, sounding off to Access Hollywood about the anchor:

"I think Anderson Cooper is an opinionated, hypocritical idiot who should be an adult and keep his opinion to himself. He is the last person to judge anyone, when he and his own family have their own issues."

Snap! Seems like AC is just calling it like he sees it - but did he go too far?

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Selena Gomez is in the middle of an alleged feud with Miley Cyrus and the subject of dating rumors regarding fellow child star Nick Jonas.

Today, though, she's talking only about her debut album.

Wanna Feel My Club?

The actress-singer is, not surprisingly, "super excited" about starting work on it. But the 16-year-old, who stars in The Wizards of Waverly Place on the Disney Channel, has some surprises in store on the music front.

"I'm going to be in a band — no Selena Gomez stuff," she told MTV News. "I'm not a solo artist. I don't think I want my name attached to it."

THG NOTE: We would totally say the same thing.

Selena Gomez, 16, is growing up fast!

The star said that the album will have a pop-rock feel to it, and she plans to play instruments on some of the album's tracks.

"I basically want to make music that is fun and that parents and kids can jump around to and have a good time to," Selena Gomez said.

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