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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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According to reports, Pirates of the Caribbean star Orlando Bloom is engaged to his model girlfriend Miranda Kerr. No, for real, this time he supposedly is.

Reports say he popped the question while on vacation in Morocco. They reportedly got engaged in May, too, but that was bogus. Is this time the real deal?

He and the Victoria's Secret model have been dating for nearly three years. According to OK!, the brother of Miranda Kerr confirmed the news, saying:

"He's finally done it. Orlando proposed. They're getting married.”

Well, that's good enough for us! The pair, who've been denying rumors of wedding bells for months, are reportedly planning to tie the knot next summer.

Congratulations if it's true! And we totally hope it is!

KerrBloom

KERRBLOOM! Hopefully, this time the rumors are true.

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At least some wood will be left in Tiger's bag ... or something.

After rumors that we might see Tiger Woods nude in Playgirl surfaced, we thought we might see the world's top golfer give Levi Johnston a run for his naked money.

But the mag has decided not to move forward with a spread.

"Playgirl has decided to turn down the alleged Tiger Woods nude photos, reportedly taken by camera phone by Woods himself," said Daniel Nardicio, the director of marketing for Playgirl. "This is a direction Playgirl does not want to take."

"We prefer subjects who are willing."

That's what the world's #1 golfer said ... about his mistresses! Just kidding, although judging by his list of women, the guy had plenty of eager takers.

We won't be seeing Tiger Woods naked, unlike half the female population.

Woods' camp has been scrambling to lock down any such images, scoring a preemptive court order in the UK blocking publications from running with the shots.

Of course, they also feign ignorance, claiming: "Our client is not aware of any images and in any event he would not have consented to any such photographs."

In closing: there are no Tiger Woods nude pics ... probably.

Speaking of unwilling naked magazine photo shoot participants, it appears that "alleged" Woods mistress No. 1 Rachel Uchitel ain't going to share, either.

"Rachel will not be appearing in Playboy," Uchitel's lawyer, Gloria Allred, tells E! News in response to reports that Playboy sought Rachel Uchitel nude.

Makes sense. She's a very wholesome girl, after all.

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The Florida Department of Children and Families (DCF) escorted by deputies from the Orange County Sheriff's Department, visited Tiger Woods' home Saturday.

Capt. Angelo Nieves of the Orange County Sheriff's Department confirmed that "our deputies met with members of the Department of Children and Families."

The details are being kept secret, but the mid-day visit to Woods' home came after the DCF received a complaint. From whom, and for what, we don't know.

A rep for the DCF later said in a statement that it was a "well-being check." It is unclear if Tiger and/or Elin Woods were in the house at the time of the visit.

DEEPER INTO THE WOODS: The Tiger scandal thickens further.

The visit was not specifically an investigation into Tiger and Elin Woods, but a routine procedure after a complaint is lodged. The department not only evaluates safety of children but adults in the house after it receives word of potential trouble.

Typically, investigators from the DCF evaluates the safety of a home for kids after a domestic violence incident is reported - and we're pretty sure there was one.

The new twist in the seemingly endless scandal clearly stems from the alleged fight with his wife that led to Tiger's wild one-car accident just after Thanksgiving.

Tiger and Elin Nordegren Woods, who married in 2004, have two small children, ages 2 years and 10 months. There are rumors she plans to divorce Tiger soon.

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A woman of zero many talents, Heidi Montag now fashions herself a writer.

The Hills star recently penned a poem for her husband, Spencer Pratt, and - surprise, surprise! - she wants the whole world to read her expression of love.

"Here is a poem I wrote for my hubby Spencer [Pratt]," she Twittered.

In the untitled prose, Heidi writes about their "flawless lives" and how she has "no more anxiety or stress" because "all that matters" in this world is him.

Speidi Kiss

Spencer and Heidi: the embodiment of true love.

You may vomit on cue. But if it's this or her giving interviews about him making her orgasm all day long ... maybe we can stomach the poem a little better.

Follow the jump to read the unintentionally hilarious prose from reality star, author, model, aspiring signer, full-time celebrity and now poet, Heidi Montag:

Continue Reading...

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So many people want to paint Rachel Uchitel in a negative light.

The New Yorker, whose affair with Tiger Woods was the first of the golfer's many such dalliances to be exposed, would like it if people weren't quick to judge.

She's a nice, all-American girl after all! Try being in her shoes!

LOL. In a shameless attempt to milk publicity from her affair with Tiger, and to clean up her image, Rache posed for a ridiculous OK! Magazine puff piece.

Photos like this make her seem like a nice, normal girl. Too bad she's little more than a serial home wrecker and adulterer shamelessly trying to cash in:

To the Dogs

AWW: Sweet, simple and not at all a home-wrecking sleaze, Rachel Uchitel poses with some furry friends. Probably the only ones she's got left after this drama.

Doesn't this make you see her in a different light? That's what she'd like. Almost makes you forget about her Ambien-fueled sex romps with Tiger.

Still, that was just one side of the woman, who she says we don't even really know. Until Playboy coughs up the big bucks for Rachel Uchitel nude.

Then you'll see an entirely different side of her ... every side. Really, whatever pays the bills. Click to enlarge more pictures from the magazine:

  • Sweet Rachel
  • Rache Pic
  • Uchitel Pic
  • Comfy at Home
  • An American Girl

[Photos: OK!]

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Chris Brown, in the midst of a major comeback effort after spending most of 2009 dealing with the fallout from his assault on Rihanna, just released Graffiti.

You'd think this (and his 20/20 interview) would be the first major step toward closing the book on the grisly incident, but Brown says it's still haunting him.

He isn't happy with the distribution of his new album, and threw a temper tantrum on Twitter over the weekend regarding retailers refusing to carry the CD.

"Major stores blackballing my CD. Not stockin the shelves, lying to customers. What the f%*k do i gotta do," the singer said. "The industry can kiss my a$$."

Okay then.

Chris Brown Live in Concert

Chris Brown is telling us how he really feels.

Lest we believe he was kidding or just caught up in the moment: "WTF... yeah i said it and i aint retracting sh!t and im not biting my tongue about sh!t else." 

And finally, this message to the haters in the Twitterverse: "for those people who r constantly tweeting me wit bullsh!t.. hop off my ****.. ur life is pointless.

Despite his complaints, Brown's album was expected to sell about 100,000 copies by the time this week's Billboard chart is published, trailing only the second Glee music soundtrack and British sensation Susan Boyle's I Dreamed a Dream.

Perhaps he should go back to anger management counseling.

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After myriad tales of Lindsay Lohan being a train wreck, Lindsay Lohan's career going down in flames, Lindsay Lohan's father being insane, and every guy/girl in L.A. seeing Lindsay Lohan nude, we're happy to report a positive story about her!

Lohan returned to the U.S. from India Saturday. There, she visited the country's most impoverished areas to film a documentary about human trafficking.

"Lindsay is home from India now. I am so proud of her for going," Dina Lohan said Sunday of her eldest daughter, who arrived at LAX Airport Saturday.

The 23-year-old visited the Sanlaap women's and children's shelter outside Calcutta, which houses female victims of trafficking and other forms of exploitation.

The troubled star and desperate muse spent about hours with residents and watched performances by children, donning traditional Indian clothing.

Another Lohan Pic

Lindsay Lohan also visited hospitals to give gifts to sick children.

The actress traveled around India with a camera crew from the BBC and her friend, stylist Patrick Aufdenkamp, who Tweeted, "Can't wait for everyone to see the documentary of [Lindsay] with the incredibly brave children we met."

Lohan herself took to Twitter to say that visiting India was "the most amazing time of my life," she wrote. "Focusing on celebrities and lies is so disconcerting, when we can change the world one child at a time.... hope everyone can see that."

We can't believe we're saying it, but good job Lindsay!

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The Florida housing market is bad enough. We don't envy anyone trying to sell a place there - especially the Miami real estate agents with Lil Wayne's listing.

The Grammy Award-winning rapper's three-bedroom, two-bathroom pad in South Beach is up for sale for $520,000. He might want to consider staging it.

Lil Wayne in Concert

Or at least cracking a window.

A prospective buyer tells this story to the New York Post:

"My fiancée and I called and the broker, deadpan, goes, 'I have two questions: Are you offended by the smell of marijuana? And do you mind coming late in the afternoon?"

"It's currently occupied by Lil Wayne, and these are not morning people."

UP IN SMOKE: Literally. That's how we'd describe Wayne's condo.

"Once we got there, a member of Wayne's posse opened the door to the overwhelming smell of marijuana. Two hot, rap-video-looking girls were walking around in nothing but underwear, blasting hip-hop. We went in and tried not to stare."

Lil Wayne, who also has a $3.1 million condo in the Murano Grande building and wasn't present during this hilarious tour, is actually a very neat tenant.

"He had a perfectly organized closet ... neatly stacked piles of XXL magazine, and a fully stocked bar featuring multiple bottles of Hennessy Black."

Wayne, real name is Dwayne Michael Carter, is releasing his new album, Rebirth, in February, when he'll be sentenced on weapons-possession charges.

He'll be going to jail for a year or so.

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It's a good thing winter is here in much of the country - it's the time of year for earmuffs. Spencer Pratt is now the owner of his own music company.

Oh yes, really. According to documents filed recently, Pratt was declared the owner and founder of "King Spencer Music" back on November 18.

All for a filing fee of $23.

As to what sort of music Spencer's record company will produce, we can only guess. But it's safe to say it will greatly feature his wife Heidi Montag.

Heidi's rare brand of talent, if you can call it that (which you can't) will likely be the primary focal point of The Hills star's most recent endeavor.

Music Exec

MUSIC EXEC: Spencer Pratt means biz.

Speidi has gone through reality shows, caused controversy with reporters, and have even written a book titled How to Be Famous. They certainly know how to do that, although they may be kidding themselves if they expect big record sales.

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Elin Nordegren Woods, the scorned wife of disgraced golfer Tiger Woods, has decided to leave him after Christmas and is talking with a divorce lawyer.

That's according to largely un-sourced tabloid reports coming out of the UK, and has not been confirmed by either Woods. But would you blame her?

Vintage Elin Nordegren

Sources say Elin wants the holiday season to appear normal for the couple's two children, Sam and Charlie, but will separate from Tiger shortly after.

Despite reports that Elin Woods moved out and is already back in her native Sweden, she remains in Central Florida with the two kids as of this posting.

Elin is said not to be in a huge rush to file divorce papers and that money is not a prime concern. Nor should it be, she'll be getting plenty regardless.

"I'll be taking the kids and a few hundred million, thanks."

The revelation of Tiger Woods' long list of mistresses caught her completely off guard and it’s a "raw" situation, according to friends of Elin Nordegren.

Amazing as it seems, Elin supposedly had no idea Tiger was cheating and the stress of the situation has caused her emotional and physical stress.

Unconfirmed rumors are also circulating that Tiger is still in touch with mistress Rachel Uchitel, the first of Tiger's many affairs to be publicly identified.

It also appears that Tiger, who just announced an indefinite break from golf, is in some type of counseling after Elin angrily insisted he see a therapist.

Will she stay with him? Should she stay with him? No matter how lucrative he makes the prenup, it's hard to imagine her giving him a second chance.

Tell us what you think: Elin Woods should totally ...

 

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