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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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We've talked about the O.J. factor and how it's making investigators in the Michael Jackson case act with such extreme patience and caution at every turn.

Basically, there's no rush, and they don't want to let another winnable, high-profile case go by the wayside because they got sloppy like with the Juice.

But there's another reason the case is dragging on for months - Anna Nicole Smith. Her ex-beau Howard K. Stern will likely go to trial on multiple drug-related felony charges stemming from the model's addiction woes and death.

Because the case is similarly compliex, prosecutors are probably watching that case to determine the specific charges Dr. Conrad Murray should face.

Murray, who has been blamed by the Jackson family for MJ's death, has maintained his innocence throughout the process and has returned to work.

Dr. Conrad Murray Picture

How Dr. Conrad Murray is charged may hinge on the Anna Nicole Smith case.

While some Jacksons have called him a murderer, it's clear there was no premeditated killing of Michael, and how to prosecute him is a murky task.

"It's not like prosecutors think there's a propofol murderer out there," says Robin Sax, former Los Angeles prosecutor, saying he's not a flight risk.

Yet another factor slowing things down: the feds.

"At the very least," retired Drug Enforcement Administration supervisory special agent Gregory D. Lee says, "Murray runs the risk of losing his license."

That seems like a given, but like the LAPD, the DEA is still determining what, if any, more serious federal drug charges will be filed against the doc.

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Rachel Uchitel or Elin Nordegren? A question for the ages.

Tiger Woods may or may not have had an affair with the former, but regardless of whether Rachel is Tiger Woods' mistress, how does she stack up with his wife?

  • Hot Rachel Uchitel Picture
  • Elin Nordegren Topless

We apologize for the lack of better images of Rachel Uchitel. For a woman who gets around like she does, you'd think there would be more pics available. Alas.

Still, do your best with what you've got here and tell us by voting in the survey below: How insane is Tiger Woods Who would you rather ... you know?

Who would you rather ...

 

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The alleged affair between Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel isn't the only scandalous relationship making headlines in the Orlando area this week.

NBA star Dwight Howard of that city's magic is determined that negative word about him will be spoken by his baby mama ... we mean legally.

According to a judge, she's not even allowed to speak his name.

Court documents filed in Florida show that the superstar went to war in October with Royce Lyndsay Reed, the mother of his 2-year-old son, after she allegedly called the baller a deadbeat dad on her blog, Twitter and even on ESPN.

Dwight also alleges Royce Reed "is attempting to become a celebrity" even agreeing to "participate in a VH1 television show called NBA Wives."

Royce Reed Picture

Royce Reed: Orlando Magic dancer and Dwight Howard baby mama.

As for how you can be on a show called NBA Wives and not be married, well, see Bravos Real Housewives franchise for lots of unwed precedent.

Dwight Howard won an injunction against Royce. Meaning what?

She's banned from "using or publishing, directly, indirectly or by innuendo, [Dwight's] name, nicknames, image, brand photographs, and/or likeness."

That would make it pretty much impossible for Royce Lyndsay Reed to appear on NBA Wives, which is probably what Dwight wants to ensure.

The lesson for the b-ball star? Be careful who you let see Dwight Howard nude, because they'll only try to cash in later. That and work on your jumper.

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We've still got a couple of years left, but get ready to say farewell to Alec Baldwin in movies and TV shows, according to the master thespian himself.

The Emmy-winning star whose 30 Rock quotes are as funny as it gets says he plans to quit acting when his contract for the NBC show ends in 2012.

Says Baldwin in the new issue of Men's Journal: "I don't have any interest in acting anymore. I'm not young, but I have time to do something else."

While the actor has won the best reviews of his life playing Republican, bottom-line-obsessed Jack Donaghy, he harshly dismisses all of his movies.

"I consider my entire movie career a complete failure," declares the star of The Hunt for Red October and Glengarry Glen Ross. Why such criticism?

"The goal of moviemaking is to star in a film where your performance drives the film, and the film is either a soaring critical or commercial success."

"I've never had that."

Alec Baldwin makes Thursdays on TV that much funnier.

Baldwin still regrets the leaked voicemail in which he called his daughter a "rude, thoughtless little pig," saying, "I feel the consequences every day."

Alec's custody fight over Ireland with ex-wife Kim Basinger, who gave his voicemail the Michael Lohan treatment, has affected his love life, too,

He says his baggage led to the recent dissolution of a seven-year relationship he had with another woman. Yet he claims that he doesn't mind.

"I'd rather be lonely than wrong," he says.

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As part of a campaign urging youth to take aim at poverty and disease, the ONE foundation has released a new ad which aired during last night's Gossip Girl.

Fittingly, that show's stars Leighton Meester, Jessica Szohr and Ed Westwick took part in it, along with Ashley Greene, Kellan Lutz and Nikki Reed of the Twilight saga.

Heroes' Hayden Panettiere, Tristan Wilds from 90210, FlashForward cast member John Cho, Tropic Thunder's Brandon Jackson and more rounded out the ad spot:

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Supermodel Helena Christensen, a bona fide cougar at age 40, shows some skin in the new issue of Elle, posing topless and revealing her love for "the female shape."

“I love breasts. I love the female shape," she says.

Britney Spears, Plaid Shirt

"It’s crazy – you can have movie posters with men with machine guns but oh, God forbid you show the nipples! That never ceases to amaze me. It’s flabbergasting."

Hard to argue with that. She continues her analysis: "I can understand if you have your legs spread and you push yourself into the camera – that’s sexually erotic."

“But the sensual contours in the male or female shape? Come on, guys, relax. So I have no problems with it ... But I’m Danish. Everyone’s naked on the beaches."

"We don’t really give a sh!t.”

Breasts aren't the only thing Helena Christensen is outspoken about.

The model's attitude toward fashion? “F*%k everybody.”

She told the magazine: “I think you’ve gotta have a f*%k everybody attitude about it. I gotta do what I feel like doing. If I feel like dressing ridiculous today, I will."

That's the Lindsay Lohan approach ... only she doesn't know it.

"I don’t care. I love seeing people on the street where I’m thinking, “What’s going on there? OK, that is wrong on so many levels, but pretty cool at the same time!’”

Sort of like how we interpret these Helena Christensen pictures. It should be a crime for someone to look so good at 40, and yet it's pretty cool ... to say the least.

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Jennifer Lopez's first ex-husband, Ojani Noa, is making headlines by threatening to release nude tapes of the music star from their short union together.

Choreographer Cris Judd, best known for his two-year marriage to J. Lo, is also in the news this week - but only because he decided to get married again.

Luisana Loreley Lopilato de la Torre and Michael Buble

He and Kelly A. Wolfe have tied the knot in a small ceremony with about 35 guests in Laguna Beach, Calif., the dancer tells Us Weekly. Sounds delightful.

"It was completely and utterly perfect," says Judd, who adds that the couple even wrote their own vows, which made the wedding ceremony "fantastic."

Former Mr. J. Lo Cris Judd is now Mr. Kelly A. Wolfe!

He and Wolfe have been together for about nine months. Earlier this month, tabloids reported that the Juddster popped the question in San Francisco.

Judd knew "pretty much right away" he wanted to marry Wolfe: "She's beautiful and she's fantastic," he said. "It's just so easy to be around each other."

Any honeymoon plans for the pair?

"Not right now," Judd said.

Oh well.

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Soon-to-be-divorced reality TV father of eight Jon Gosselin is single and ready to mingle get in the pants of some of the cutest blondes in Hollywood.

Too bad they'll probably have a say in it and turn down that kind offer, although hey, you never know. The Hills could use a little bit of a ratings boost.

According to Star, Jon's made a list, and there's no need to check it twice, because the girls he'd most like to bang are all sexy Hollywood staples.

"What he really wants is to hook up with Lindsay Lohan, Kristin Cavallari and Whitney Port," an insider says of Jon G.'s "hit list" of young starlets.

  • Class Act
  • Port Pic
  • The Bitch is Totally Back

MR. COOL: Jon Gosselin aspires to bed Hills stars past and present.

We'd imagine Port is out of his league, as she is not desperate. Kristin Cavallari, though? If she'll fake-date Justin-Bobby, Jon might have a chance.

Girl clearly has low standards and wants to be famous, after all.

“He’s like a kid in a candy store and going absolutely wild,” Jon's friend dishes. “Let's just say he definitely isn't on the prowl for another wife.”

And Jon's libido is never satisfied, another close friend of his dishes. "He’s even been with two girls on the same day - and it’s still not enough!”

Wait, Jon has hooked up with two chicks at the same time?

Unless their names were Hailey Glassman and Kate Major, we had no idea he pulled that off. And we really pity those girls, because come on.

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Over the past 25 years, Oprah Winfrey, who announced her farewell last week, changed the face of TV, touching the lives of tens of millions of Americans.

She also yelled a lot like a deranged lunatic.

If you've ever seen her show, you know that Oprah cannot merely say a celebrity's name as if it were a normal word. She must scream it, ridiculously.

It's as if O somehow knew The Hollywood Gossip would one day come to fruition and an intern would find and delight in posting a montage like this ...

One can only imagine if Oprah exclaims the name Stedman Graham this way after ... um, never mind. Let's just forget we ever went there and move on.

How about those Grady Sizemore pictures, eh?

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According to reports, Brittany Murphy was fired from an upcoming film that was shooting in Puerto Rico for being difficult on set and a detriment to production.

We're not sure which film, but Murphy's IMDB profile indicates that this film may have been The Caller, which also stars True Blood cast member Stephen Moyer.

It took about 15 seconds for Brittany to be replaced, too. Twilight and New Moon star Rachelle Lefevre reportedly hopped on a plane as soon as Murphy was out.

A source also says that Brittany was so pissed about getting booted from the film that she didn't want to leave Puerto Rico and had "plans to sabotage the film."

That would qualify her as a Grade A nut job.

Not a good weekend for Brittany Murphy. Or Simon Monjack.

The really interesting part of Brittany's movie set ouster was that the weird British con-artist she married in 2007, Simon Monjack, got into a fight with some locals.

Could there be a connection between the whole Puerto Rico incident and Monjack arriving at LAX airport "incoherent" and having to be hospitalized Saturday?

Murphy thought that Simon Monjack was having an asthma attack, but medical personnel boarding the plane evidently felt it might be even more serious.

Con-jack was released from the hospital last night and even picked up some burgers before heading home, but it makes you wonder ... burgers? Really Simon?!

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