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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Nicolas Cage may have fallen on hard financial times, sure, but even the celebrity gossip media may have underestimated how bad his money problems are.

The guy taking the blame for leaving Nicolas Cage broke claims by the time he was hired in 2001, "Coppola [Cage] had already squandered tens of millions."

Moreover, he owed millions in taxes "with no funds available to pay them."

In his countersuit, Samuel Levin, CPA, says when he was hired he warned Nic Cage he needed to earn $30 million a year just to maintain his lavish lifestyle.

In 2007 alone, Cage bought three homes totaling $33 million-plus, 22 cars (including 9 Rolls Royces), 12 pieces of expensive jewelry and 47 pieces of art.

Nic Cage Photo

Nicolas Cage is so broke these days, he can't even afford a razor to shave off that goatee! Just kidding. He is probably sporting that thing by choice.

Even worse, Levin maintains that Cage spent his free time "shopping for high-ticket purchases," including 15 homes, a Gulfstream jet, and a flotilla of yachts.

And there's this: Cage "also spent huge sums taking his sizable entourage on costly vacations and threw enormous, Gatsby-scale parties at his residences."

And this: "The pinnacle of [Cage's] spending spree came with his Quixotic acquisitions of Midford Castle in England and Schloss Neidstein Castle in Bavaria."

Levin warned Cage that the decrepit astles needed a king's ransom just to make them habitable. Cage owes him $128,872.98 in unpaid business services.

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Kristin Cavallari and Jayde Nicole got into a screaming - and shoving - match on last week's episode of The Hills, but it looks like that was just the beginning.

Tonight, the two sit down to discuss their conflict, which centers on Brody Jenner, Kristin's ex and Jayde's ... possible ex. Their status is a little bit unclear.

If Brody and Jayde aren't broken up, they're at least "taking a break," and Brody's definitely hanging out with Kristin. As friends? As possibly more? Well ...

“You don’t think that in the entire city of Hollywood you could find other guys other than Justin and Brody?” Jayde Nicole pointedly asks Kristin Cavallari.

Kristin takes issue with the reference to Justin-Bobby (who dated Audrina Patridge), replying, “I was never friends with Audrina. I don’t owe her anything.”

  • Bad Kristin
  • Jayde, Brody Pic

Kristin. Jayde. Cat fight. It's on. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The not-at-all-scripted scene from the episode has been leaked online, giving us a sneak peek at what's to come as the women of Brody Jenner square off.

The conversation goes something like this.

Jayde: “Hey, I don’t like Audrina either.”
Kristin: “So why are you even bringing Justin into this equation?”
Jayde: “Because it seems like a pattern with you. Everything was totally fine before you came here, so you need to go back to wherever it is that you came from.”
Kristin: “You are such a bitch, Jayde. I have to tell you, like, you’re a bitch.”

That about sums it up. Whose side are you on?

 

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Sure, he's curmudgeonly and crotchety. Sure, he had an affair with Stephanie Birkitt and got blackmailed for it. But David Letterman is great at what he does.

That's due in part to his ability to create great comedy out of nothing. When he goes over to his desk after the monologue, you never know what’s coming.

Case in point? Last night, Dave went off on a New York Times’ front page story from last weekend on the increasing usage of the word “douche” on TV.

“Who knew The New York Times had enough money to pay a guy to count the word ‘douche’?” Dave asked, persistently ridiculing the paper's "journalism."

Check out Dave's rant about the piece below ...

Letterman also mocked terrorist mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, whose trial is approaching and whose photo appeared above the "douche" story.

In a hilarious aside unrelated to his overall point (or maybe this was the point, and the douche bit was the aside, who knows), he compared Mohammed to a sad, lost puppy longing to be adopted (left) and a drunk who just woke up (right).

One might describe Khalid by a certain term beginning with a D, a word often paired with its twin sister "bag." But that's normally reserved for wastes of space like Jon Gosselin and not actual terrorists. Better luck next time, Khalid.

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Levi Johnston talks the talk, but won't walk the naked walk.

After all the hype, we won't be seeing Levi Johnston nude in Playgirl. At least not full-frontal style, despite what his manager, Tank Jones, promised us. Poor.

"[Levi] did not give 'full frontal' as his manager Tank [Jones] reported he would," Daniel Nardicio, a spokesman for Playgirl, told the New York Daily News.

Playgirl still insists that the "package" is sure to please:

"Although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity. But we're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them."

So much for that "venture into porn," as Sarah Palin called it.

Speaking out on Oprah yesterday, Palin mocked Johnston's newfound fame, saying "I don't know if we call him Levi. I hear he goes by Ricky Hollywood now ... If that's the case, we don't want to mess up his gig he's got going."

Jones took issue with Palin's criticism of her would-be son-in-law, and described Levi Johnston's much-hyped photo shoot for Playgirl as "art," not porn.

"He came in this world naked. So all of a sudden it's dirty to take your clothes off?" Jones said. "It depends what you do once you take your clothes off."

The irony? Levi is only famous and receiving attention in the first place because of getting naked ... and really giving it to Bristol Palin without protection.

The former Alaska governor said she is disappointed at those who are "handling" Johnston and allowing him to speak "mistruths" about the Palin family.

"The premise of Levi having lived with Bristol is false. You take that foundational untruth and you can kind of measure all the other things he's saying."

"He's a teenager. I don't think he realizes quite yet what it is that he is being handled and orchestrated - for him to be participating in this," she said.

Who knows if Sarah knows what she is doing on any given day, since she's the one Going Rogue and all, but it's nice of her to express her concern.

Whose side are you on?

 

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Erroneously, that is.

Nicole Richie appeared Monday in court and was granted a permanent protective order against celebrity gossip photographers she had accused of harassing her.

She told the court about the car accident she blamed on the the paparazzi. But the news that caused the most buzz was her attorney, Mark Geragos, repeatedly referring to Joel Madden as "your husband" during questioning of Richie.

That was news to us.

But while Richie and Madden have been together for three years and have two young children, they have not, as far as we know, actually gotten married.

There is no marriage license on file in L.A. County for the duo. Afterward, Geragos explained the husband reference, calling it his mistake, nothing more.

Nicole and Harlow

Nicole Richie married? No. Mother of a cute daughter? Yes!

He told E! News that Richie and Madden have a "common-law" marriage, and Richie and Madden, who were standing next to him, didn't say otherwise.

However, California doesn't recognize common-law marriage, and a source close to the couple insisted that Geragos just misspoke, plain and simple.

That settles that.

As for the hearing, Richie and Madden both took the stand to discuss Nicole's recent car accident that they blamed on the pesky pair of paparazzi peeps.

Joel said of his non-wife and two-time baby mama: "She's with the kids 24-7. She takes them to work. She's constantly terrified" of what will happen.

Judge Carol Goodson acknowledged that the photographers do have a right to earn a living, but granted a protective order because "the court is extremely concerned about the possibility of a future accident" involving Nicole and her kids.

The photogs, who were also present in court, apologized to Richie and "promised" to leave her alone. The paps must now stay at least 50 feet away.

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Yesterday, we reported that NBC's Today Show called off its planned interview with Speidi at the last minute, citing the ambiguous "schedule changes."

Spencer Pratt thinks he knows the real reason NBC pulled the plug, and responded like anyone would - Twittering a tirade of insults at Today's Al Roker.

There has been no confirmation that Roker's testy relationship with Pratt and Heidi Montag caused the cancellation, but Spencer took it quite personally.

From Roker's weight, to his overall appearance, to his marital history and relationship with his children, nothing about Speidi's nemesis was off limits.

Spencer P. Pic

Spencer may have gone over the line this time.

While you knew he would try to gain publicity from this somehow, he seems rather bitter. Here were Spencer Pratt's ridiculously uncalled-for Tweets to Al:

  • "HEY WEATHERMAN I thought you were out of town today getting your stomach stapled again?"
  • "You look very sick? Do you always look like your about to die? How old are you 97? You should retire asap - No one would even know?"
  • "I heard you snitched on your own kids at school! I bet your kids HATE you!! I would if my dad came to my school and snitched me out"
  • "Is it true you have been married 6 times? I'm sure all your wives left you when they realized you were abusive to women! Sicko!"

Yeesh. That goes a little beyond typical Speidi ribbing, right?

The NBC personality was silent on the topic Monday, but he wasn't the last time Speidi appeared on the show, triggering the couple's Al Roker feud.

Roker didn't take it lightly back in June, saying he would whomp Spencer in a fight and calling out Heidi Montag for her inability to answer questions.

Will he respond this time? Whose side are you on?

 

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Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's personal physician, is gearing up to sue AEG, the entertainment company sponsoring his ill-fated This Is It tour this year.

AEG was paying Murray's costs as he served as MJ's doctor. Michael died June 25 of an apparent overdose of Propofol, a strong anesthesia, it is widely believed.

According to Miranda Sevcik, publicist for Dr. Murray's lawyer, Ed Chernoff, AEG still owes the good doc $300,000 - two months' pay - and is "dragging its feet."

Conrad Murray has not been paid for his services, in spite of the fact that he claims he signed a binding deal with AEG before giving up his medical practice.

Doctor Conrad Murray

Dr. Conrad Murray seeks money for "services" rendered.

He will not file a creditor's claim against Jackson's estate, but Murray "needs the money and he's entitled to money based on the contract he signed with AEG."

AEG did not comment, but we wouldn't hold our breath if we were Conrad.

After all, he was being paid to keep Jackson healthy in preparation for and on tour. That tour never ended up happening because of ... well, it's obvious, isn't it?

The guy died. Murray was responsible for his treatment. Janet Jackson blames him and he is the target of a months-long homicide investigation by the LAPD.

Somehow, we're guessing that may nullify the contract. Just a hunch.

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Tila Tequila wants you to feel sorry for her.

While we certainly wish her no physical harm, the girl has zero credibility, which may be why police decided not to charge her then-boyfriend, Shawne Merriman, in the altercation that took place between them in September.

What an Absolute Mess

Just the same, Tila Tequila is letting her bruises do the talking in a lawsuit she just filed against the NFL star, who she says grabbed her, shook her like a rag doll, threw he down and choked her during an argument at his house.

In the lawsuit, Tila included photos showing bruises on her arms and noting the disparity in height and weight (Tila is 4'11", 93 lbs. Shawne is 6'4", 280 lbs).

Which proves nothing, of course, but here they are ...

Tila Tequila says this proves Shawne Merriman assaulted her.

Tila says in her suit (for battery, assault, emotional distress and false imprisonment) that the San Diego Chargers linebacker had a bad temper combined with a drug problem, and that he humiliated her because of her bi-sexuality.

Merriman served an NFL suspension for steroid use the season before last.

Shawne's version of events that night? He wanted Tila to engage in a foursome with himself and two other girls, she flipped out and refused, and he had to physically restrain her from driving home naked and intoxicated.

The San Diego County D.A. declined to file criminal charges. She might have better luck auctioning off her breasts than banking on a big settlement here.

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Chris Brown is ready to move on.

Following his assault on then-girlfriend Rihanna, he has been sentenced and has begun the community labor and counseling that are part of his probation.

He's withstood crazy fans berating him, made the media rounds, apologizing for his actions; and he's gearing up for the release of his album next month.

But when it comes to jumping back into the dating pool, the singer said that for a variety of reasons, that's pretty much on hold - at least for now.

"I've been just kinda chillin'," he tells MTV News. "I mean, I'm Chris Brown. I'm not saying it like that, but it's just, like, girls are gonna be around."

Well, if you don't say so yourself!

Very Studious

Chris Brown is just workin' on him. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

"I love women. But I would say I've just been chillin'. I haven't really been trying to get into a relationship or trying to date anybody right now."

"I've just kinda been working on me. Just getting me straight."

After recent interviews in which Rihanna described the assault, Brown says he respects her right to speak out, but wishes she'd kept it private.

While the couple reunited briefly after the February incident, they have been ordered by the court to maintain their distance for five years.

As for his new "Crawl" video, it was inspired in part by Rihanna:

"So being able to express the feelings, it was like, probably one of the best [records I've done]," he said. "But it was more than me trying to do a record that meant crawl to love, crawl back to love - meaning from your negative situations."

Would you date Chris Brown?

 

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People love Michelle Obama photos no matter what the First Lady wears. Conversely, at least as some see it, it seems like her husband can do no right.

Some commentators are ripping President Barack Obama's bow to Japan's Emperor Akihito this weekend, accusing him of groveling before a foreign leader.

Is It Hot In Here Or ...

But is that actually the case?

While Obama bowing before the emperor looks a bit awkward, it isn't without precedent. Nor was it a sign of capitulation or anything of the sort.

U.S. presidents from both parties have often been criticized for their attempts at culturally sensitive greetings to high-ranking foreign officials.

Former President George W. Bush was mocked for holding Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah's hand, a traditional sign of friendship in the Middle East.

In fact, back in 1994, former Democratic President Bill Clinton was even criticized for almost bowing to Akihito. He awkwardly stopped just short of this ...

Cultural faux pas or not, a bowing Barack just looks awkward.

If anything, Obama's encounter with Akihito could be considered a stumble because it mixed a bow with a handshake - something not normally done.

And it wasn't the first time the president, a Democrat who has been in office less than a year, has been criticized for his greeting of a foreign leader.

Critics accused him of genuflecting to Saudi King Abdullah at a summit meeting of the leaders of the top 20 rich and developing nations this year.

The bow comes during highly charged times.

Conservatives are strongly opposing Obama's policies, especially his plan to overhaul the health care system, and jump on any perceived faux pas.

Andrew Malcolm, in a blog on the Los Angeles Times, asked, "How low will the new president go for the world's royalty?" Apparently, pretty low.

U.S. State Department spokesman Ian Kelly told reporters Monday that the bow by Barack Obama was traditional, "a sign of respect to the emperor."

"We're in an environment rwhere everything is hypersensitive. Any move you do, there will be some group that sees some message within all that."

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