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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Last night on The City, Whitney Port decided it was time she started dating again. MTV apparently agreed and dug up some guy named Freddie Fackelmayer.

Below, our staffers review the latest episode of The Hills spinoff and quote-unquote workplace drama, awarding and deducting as many points as we see fit ...

Whitney and Samantha Swetra compare designer shoes to boroughs of New York City. Even Gossip Girl wouldn't try to fabricate those stereotypes, but Plus 4.

At Elle, Joe Zee totally loves Olivia Palermo. Erin Kaplan totally doesn't! This not only feels contrived, we've been over it about 375 times by now. Minus 5.

Roxy Olin hangs out with a guy named Zac and expresses that she's jealous of Whitney and her life. Refreshing honesty, and use of a bra as a top. Plus 3.

Whitney decides she's going to date again. Enter Harry Fackelmayer, Sam's cute friend, who totally has a hot older brother! What are the odds? Minus 2.

Whitney agrees to meet up with Freddie Fackelmeyer at a barbecue. One that happens to be held at the apartment of Adam Senn and Whit's ex, Jay Lyon (who's out of town). How downright Kristin Cavallari of Whitney Port to show. Plus 7.

Kelly Cutrone tells Whitney to pee on the wall of the apartment to mark her territory. Plus 5, because that's funny stuff to hear from your boss, although we would have preferred if she instructed Whitney to top shelf the bathroom.

Adam Senn is a moron, but no longer really on the show, so just Minus 1.

Speaking of people who need to get kicked off the show, when will MTV pull the plug on Olivia Palermo? She has no redeeming qualities, her life is boring and has nothing to do with Whitney. Break out the pink slip already! Minus 24.

Putting aside the fact that his name is Freddie Fackelmayer, this Freddie Fackelmayer seems like a fairly large douche. La dee freakin' da, he works on Wall Street, wears preppy clothes and talks about surfing. Are we supposed to care? Minus 17.

Throw in another Minus 10 for the fake tan. In the Northeast.

But Plus 16 because we heard that they broke up before we even knew they dated, which is both hilarious and slightly comforting. Whit is redeemed. A little.

TOTAL: -24. SEASON TOTAL: -17. This week's scores are skewed by the sleep-inducing awfulness that is Olivia, but still, mediocre overall. Step up, City!

Whitney Port Cleavage Photo

Whitney Port and Freddie Fackelmeyer. Yes, that's really him.

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After a terrible marriage to Kevin Federline and rocky flings with JR Rotem, Isaac Cohen, Howie Day and Adnan Ghalib, Britney Spears may have found The One.

That would be Jason Trawick, her agent-turned-boyfriend.

"'He's the kind of man you would dream of your daughter marrying. The kids love him, and he's stable,'" says Brit's mom Lynne Spears, according to Us.

Jason Trawick, 37, stood by Britney during her darkest moments, like when she was involuntarily committed twice to a psychiatric hospital in early 2008.

During that period in her life she lost many people close to her - not to mention custody of sons Sean Preston, 4, and Jayden James, 3. But Jason stayed.

Britney Spears, Jason Trawick Cover

Jason Trawick has saved Britney Spears. We'd actually give more credit to her father, Jamie, but there's no question that her new boyfriend is a great influence.

"Most everyone else abandoned her, but Jason refused to be completely cut out of Britney's life," says a source close to her "He's very protective of her."

Besides his quick wit and ability to make her laugh in any situation, the best attribute of Jason Trawick is that he accepts Britney Spears - drama and all.

"She has been honest with Jason about what she’s been through in a way that I don't think she's been with other people, and he always preferred to not sugarcoat the harsh reality of what happened to her," says a pal.

"He tells her that she should take responsibility for her own actions."

Bold idea. Now we just need Jason to date Lindsay Lohan next.

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THG Editors' Note #1: No he's not.

THG Editors' Note #2: There's no way Jennifer Aniston said that, and the odds of her being back on in any way with John Mayer are average at best.

Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie Tabloid Cover

But OK! remains hell-bent on marrying Jen off to John, whose forthcoming album Battle Studies boasts the following lyrics on one of the tracks:

“Friends, lovers or nothing - we can only ever be one.”

There you go! He's totally talking about Jen! Case closed!

An old picture of John and Jen with a new, fake headline.

According to OK!, the all-knowing oracle of made-up tabloid covers celebrity gossip, no-strings-attached hookups have given way to something more for Jen and John.

We are talking about a Full. Blown. Romance.

Fake swoon alert!!

The couple’s secret, steamy nights behind closed doors at Manhattan’s Four Seasons Hotel apparently have fans buzzing. Just imagine if they were actually true.

The Friends star’s plan to finally have the baby she’s been yearning for is also revealed. Note that the same mag declared Jennifer Aniston pregnant weeks ago.

Nonsense. In conclusion, if you want to read a about steamy love affair that actually took place, try the Brooke Hundley-Steve Phillips saga. ESPN-O he didn't!

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If you thought trading Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano during his stint as GM of the Mets was the worst decision Steve Phillips could make, think again.

The ESPN analyst had an affair with assistant Brooke Hundley, who, after being dumped, went insane and started harassing Steve's wife Marni Phillips.

We are talking phone calls and a letter that bragged about sex with Steve Phillips while ridiculing their "loveless marriage," The New York Post reports.

Steve confessed to Marni Phillips and local police that he had slept with ESPN assistant Brooke Hundley, 22, several times this summer before dumping her.

In retaliation, the jilted young woman repeatedly phoned Phillips' wife, exclaiming things like "We both can't have him!" an explosive police report claims.

Hundley also described, in her letter to Marni Phillips, details of her husband's sexual relationship with her, including the birthmark on Steve's crotch and how at least she didn't have to worry about him knocking her up since he had a vasectomy.

Classy. It's actually worse than you think, too.

Steve Phillips blew this whistle on lover-turned-stalker Brooke Hundley. He also blew his marriage to Marni Phillips. This was after Brooke ... never mind.

Hundley accidentally smashed her car into a stone column while speeding away from the Phillips' home after leaving the letter, terrifying the family.

She also may have used an ESPN computer to contact and stalk Phillips' 16-year-old son on Facebook while posing as one of his high-school classmates.

"I have extreme concerns about the health and safety of my kids and myself," Steve Phillips said in a Wilton, Conn., police statement, adding that Brooke Hundley had become "obsessive and delusional" after he dumped her.

Steve Phillips is not pressing charges against her, but he is being sued himself - for divorce, by Marni Phillips, 40, with whom he has four sons.

Phillips has also been suspended for a week by ESPN because of the scandal.

These bombshell developments come nearly a decade after Phillips took a leave of absence as the Mets' GM for infidelity, which was almost as much of a hallmark of Phillips' tenure with the team as his bad personnel decisions.

One of several rumored affairs he had back then was with a team employee, Rosa Rodriguez, who sued Steve for sexual harassment in the late 1990s.

For more on his most recent antics, follow the link to reading in the New York Post, and check out Brooke Hundley's letter to Marni Phillips below ...

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Jon Gosselin must think his esteemed position as President of Douchebag Nation entitles him to collect gigantic paychecks everywhere His Majesty goes.

Specifically, Jon values his own existence as worth $12,000 an hour. That's how much he wants to appear on a Florida radio show, anyway. Yes, really.

Tampa's MJ Morning Show contacted Gosselin's rep in the hopes of booking the reality TV father of eight to guest co-host his show for one morning.

The radio show offered two first class round trip plane tickets (perfect for him to bring Hailey Glassman), limo service and a first class hotel room.

But apparently that wasn't even close to sealing the deal.

On top of all those perks, Gosselin's rep requested an "appearance fee ... in the 10-12K range." Man, who does this guy think he is, Spencer Pratt?

The radio host "fell out of his chair" at Jon's request.

Ruler of the D-Bags

HOLDING COURT: Jon Gosselin, the newly-elected President of Douchebag Nation, basks in the glow of his own celebrity. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Team Jon justified the amount by saying, "[Jon's] name and appearance on your show will instantly draw press, and mark a high point for the show."

It's true. Anything associated with Jon gains instant respect and credibility. He did try to pay himself $180,000 recently, so he probably believes this.

To further present his case, Jon's rep also describes the Ed Hardy-wearing, hair-plug-sporting tool as "quite funny, sharp witted and interesting."

If he doesn't say so himself.

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Last spring on The Bachelor, Jason Mesnick sent Molly Malaney home on an emotional season finale, popping the question to Melissa Rycroft instead.

But on the show's "After the Final Rose" special, he famously had a change of heart, breaking up with Melissa and asking Molly for a second chance.

She was shocked, but giddily accepted.

That sums up Molly's reaction to Jason's most recent request as well. He asked her to marry him and she said yes. Jason and Molly are engaged!

According to People, Jason got down on one knee in New Zealand last week, the same nation where The Bachelor finale was filmed last winter.

Molly Malaney will soon be the newest Mrs. Jason Mesnick!

Since the controversial Bachelor ending, which resulted in serious backlash against Mesnick (Molly Malaney did nothing wrong, but Jason's national TV dispatching of Melissa was scrutinized), the two have kept a very low profile.

They've also been doing the distance thing, with her living in Milwaukee and him in Seattle with his son, Ty, from his first marriage to ex-wife Hillary.

But we suspect they'll be moving in together, likely in Seattle, quite soon, now that Jason Mesnick has officially asked for Molly's hand in marriage.

The couple just returned on vacation to the site of Jason’s ill-fated first choice so that “Jason can do what he should have done in the last time he was here, and ask Molly to marry him,” says a source close to the lovebirds.

Congratulations to the couple! Click to enlarge more photos:

  • Jason and Molly: The Bachelor
  • Jason and Molly Get Hot and Heavy
  • Jason and Molly Photo

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What a coincidence.

A day after Rihanna's new single comes out, Chris Brown's going on tour!

Well, he's announced plans to go on tour, anyway. To go on a Fan Appreciation Tour, no less. Brown wants to "thank folks who have stood by him" this year.

Chris' year has been marred by a February assault on his girlfriend and subsequent guilty plea on felony assault charges. Not a lot of positive PR in that.

Just the same, he's looking to get back to the music. Brown said his "first show back" would be October 27 at Power 105's Powerhouse show in New Jersey.

He's not the only one on the bill there, but there's more. His month-long jaunt kicks off November 14 at the House of Blues in Houston and will touch down in similar venues in 19 cities across the country, including L.A., Chicago and Boston.

Chris Brown's comeback is scheduled to begin soon. You in?

The small venues were chosen to encourage an intimate atmosphere geared toward real Chris Brown fans, according to the R&B singer's tour organizers.

Brown, who has been busy performing community labor in Virginia, unveiled his first single since February, "I Can Transform Ya," late last month.

Speaking of being transformed, his tour is sending a positive message:

A portion of tour proceeds will go to Best Buddies International, a group that provides employment and leadership opportunities for people with developmental disabilities, and to the Jenesse Center, which supports victims of domestic violence.

No donations make up for what he did and the message it sent, but you gotta credit him for doing all the right things since his guilty plea, at least.

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Kate Gosselin is ready to tell her side of the story. Unfiltered.

Check that, it's completely filtered. There are going to be more softballs lobbed over the plate here than the Angels pitchers threw at the Yankees last night.

Wicked Witch of PA

After bonding with Meredith Viera on Today and the ladies of The View, the grating, reverse-mulleted mother of eight scored an hour-long special on TLC.

The final episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 as we know it is set to air next Monday, the same day they're due in court to hash out their bank account drama.

Clearly, this is them sticking it to Jon Gosselin, who TLC is suing for breach of contract after he halted production on the newly-renamed Kate Plus 8.

In the hour-long special, she'll be answering your pressing "questions about life, the show and moving on," the network announced in a press release.

They're even calling the gig You Ask, Kate Answers.

Queries can be posted on TLC's main show site. Here are just a few we would like to see Kate answer on the air during the special no one watches:

  • Do you try to be so mean or is it just your nature?
  • At what point did all the fame go to your head?
  • Who do the kids hate more, you or Jon?
  • Is that a dead porcupine on your head?

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The 911 call made by Mayumi and Richard Heene Heene to Fort Collins, Colo., police during the original Balloon Boy hoax last week has been released.

Pretending to be distraught and worried about son Falcon Heene, Richard says he's sure his 6-year-old is in the balloon, pleading with the dispatcher:

"What do you do in a case like this? How the heck am I gonna get him down?"

Sickening what people will do and say for their 15 minutes.

These two should have taken some acting classes, as their attempts to act hysterical are mediocre at best, and their version of events is suspect.

Our favorite part? Richard Heene admitting he called the FAA before he called 911. Who would that occur to if this weren't an elaborate sham?

Listen to the 911 call by playing the video below ...

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Lindsay Lohan may be a train wreck, but she's got a point here.

The alleged actress says she's tired of her dad, Michael Lohan, relentlessly slamming her in the press and using her for attention "as she tries to heal."

Okay, she's got half a point. Trying to heal? Not very hard, LL.

"I'm so hurt that this person who calls himself my father, needs to use the press to communicate with me," Lohan said in response to Michael's desired plan for a conservatorship over his daughter to protect her from destruction.

In an interview with Maury Povich that aired last Friday, the actress' father reached out to his daughter, claiming her health is rapidly deteriorating.

"There's nothing left of her," he said, noting that he "can't even look at her ... I just cry. When I hugged her, it's just this hollow, hollow person."

Lindsay Lohan says she's cut off all ties with her dad.

"I have not spoken to my father, nor have I responded to his threatening and erratic messages over the last several months," she tells Us Weekly.

"It's so sad that he needs to stay in the media spotlight by using my name and making up excessive lies. He should instead trying be a real father."

This concludes our latest installment of the Lohan family drama. We know where we stand at this point, but a couple of pressing questions linger:

Stay tuned.