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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Poor Ojani Noa.

Dude just can't seem to cash in on his ex-wife thanks to pesky judges who keep on blocking the release of his honeymoon tape with Jennifer Lopez.

An Former Couple

Yes, J. Lo was once married to some dude named Ojani Noa, and yes, there is a honeymoon tape. Calling it a J. Lo sex tape is kind of a misnomer.

More on that in a moment.

Lopez has been fighting tooth and nail to keep her private life with her first ex-husband private, and yesterday, a judge’s ruling helped her cause.

An L.A. Superior Court judge is keeping a ban in place against Ojani Noa, saying he can’t release his private home videos of J. Lo, the AP reports.

Thus ends his long-awaited chance to cash in.

Judge James C. Chalfant said he will issue an injunction against anyone distribute the videos, while Jennifer sued Noa last month for $10 million.

She claimed Ojani was in breach of the terms of their divorce and a confidentiality agreement. Looks like a judge agreed and the tape is kaput.

Not that it was even that racy, according to her attorney, who denies the Jennifer "sex tape" even contains any sexual situations with Ojani Noa.

"There wasn't anything close to sex in it," Lopez's attorney John Lavely said. "We never alleged that. But it's private and personal to my client."

The footage has scenes from the ex-couple's marriage in Florida and honeymoon in Cuba, Noa's film partner Claudia Vazquez previously stated.

Jennifer and Ojani married in 1997, but stayed together for only 11 months afterward. She went on to marry Cris Judd and then Marc Anthony.

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It's a baby girl for singer Lisa Loeb and Roey Hershkovitz!

Lyla Rose Loeb Hershkovitz arrived Sunday at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles and is the first child for the couple, who got married in February.

Britney, Sean

Lisa and Roey, a singer and a production supervisor for The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, respectively, only recently announced they were expecting.

The couple met in 2006 at a business meeting and married last January.

Loeb shot to fame in 1994 with the No. 1 single "Stay" from Reality Bites.

She also helps underprivileged kids through her own non-profit, the Camp Lisa Foundation, which gives at-risk kids the chance to go to summer camp.

Congratulations to the newlyweds - and newly-parents!

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Joe Simpson will not take criticism of his prize employees sitting down.

At Monday's performance of Chicago in Manhattan, where Ashlee Simpson-Wentz made her Broadway debut, her dad admitted feeling under siege.

"We as a family are under a lot pressure," the pimp-in-chief of the Simpsons said, adding that peeps want "to make us look bad, want us to fail."

This is not true, and we resent the allegation. We merely point out and delight in the fact that they do fail when their acting is beyond painful.

"The world says whatever it says," he adds. "They always want to make it look like we're failures but we're really just a family that works hard."

Not sure who they are, but whatever helps Joe sleep at night.

  • Jess Simps
  • Ash Simps

Ashlee getting canned from Melrose Place wasn't the only setback in what has been a tough year for Joe's girls, however. There's Jessica. Ouch.

In 2009, she struggled with her weight, wore some hideous fashion, watched a coyote snack on her dog and got dumped by NFL star Tony Romo.

The night before her birthday, no less. That stings.

Fortunately, next year Jessica returns to reality TV with The Price of Beauty, a VH1 series that features her traveling the world. Scintillating.

The happy dad - who cried during Ashlee's Chicago performance - praised both of his daughters' ability to roll with the punches above all.

"My children look at ups and downs and rise up above it all and remain strong. We're just normal people, and we always try to be who we are."

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You know what they say. If there's no video to supplement the story you're reporting on, make up your own via high-tech computer animated graphics!

A Chinese news station did just that with the Tiger Woods saga, reenacting what happened (or at least what many think happened) Friday morning.

Skip ahead to the 55-second mark and see Elin Nordegren go off on Tiger over his alleged affair with Rachel Uchitel, causing him to flee his house.

The scorned spouse chased after the athlete with a golf club, whacking away at his Cadillac SUV, he got distracted and the rest is very-recent history ...

The only thing this video lacks is a simulated Jaimee Grubbs coming forward and looking for her 15 minutes of fame. Maybe that'll be in Part II.

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Earlier today, Jaimee Grubbs, of VH1's Tool Academy quasi-fame, came forward to allege that she had been having a 31-month affair with golf great Tiger Woods.

She says that she met the athlete in Las Vegas back in April 2007 and have slept together at least 20 times since. Those of you doing quick math are correct:

April 2007-Right Freaking Now = 31 months.

In fact, Us promises that tomorrow, it will post a voicemail Woods left Jaimee Grubbs last Tuesday in which he says his wife, Elin, may have caught on to the affair.

Could it be that Jaimee was the mistress whose involvement with Tiger triggered Elin's wrath, and that Rachel Uchitel wasn't even involved (which she claims)?

Jaimee Grubbs rocks a red bikini in this recent photo.

While Tiger and Elin will not face charges after the incident last week - he crashed his car into a hydrant and a neighbor's tree after presumably fleeing his mansion in the midst of a nuclear fight with her - he's still got a lot of explaining to do.

That's assuming Grubbs is even telling the truth, of course.

Right now, it's all speculation. But if Us' voicemails and texts are valid - the celeb gossip magazine claims Jaimee's given them the goods - it could get really ugly.

Click to enlarge more Jaimee Grubbs pictures below ...

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Tareq and Michaele Salahi need to step it up.

If the White House party crashers are really trying to score a gig on The Real Housewives of D.C., which has been rumored, today's Today visit was hella weak.

Sure, they were probably advised by legal counsel to appear dignified and somber, because they could be in deep $h!t for the stunt they pulled. Fine.

But come on. Liven things up a bit, Salahis!

Tareq and Michaele Salahi said on Today that they hate the "party crashing" label and denied they finagled their way into a White House state dinner.

Tareq and Michaele Salahi

They insisted that they were invited to the bash by a Washington law firm with ties to a senior Pentagon official, and this is all a huge misunderstanding.

Just like when she masqueraded as a Redskins cheerleader. She was probably invited to that reunion by a senior official of some kind, too. Convenient!

“This has been the most devastating thing that’s ever happened to us,” Tareq Salahi said. “We’re greatly saddened by all of the recent circumstances."

"I can tell you we did not party crash the White House.”

The couple said they are reeling from the media attention, which is odd as that's what it appeared they were seeking from crashing a state dinner.

Continue Reading...

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The criminal chapter of the Tiger Woods saga has ended, with the golfer being fined for careless driving, but no domestic abuse charges filed against Elin Nordegren.

In a much-less-interesting but more appropriate manner than the celebrity gossip public might have hoped for, Woods was cited for careless driving and fined $164.

Elin Nordegren's New House

That's it.

The matter of whether Tiger slept with Jaimee Grubbs and/or Rachel Uchitel remains, but as far as criminal charges go, you can consider the Woods case closed.

"The investigation has determined that Mr. Woods is at fault in the crash," Maj. Cindy Williams of the Florida Highway Patrol said at a press conference Tuesday.

Elin and Tiger Woods are officially out of the ... police blotter.

Tiger's careless driving violation carries the aforementioned fine and four points on Woods' driving record. Not had for hitting a fire hydrant and his neighbor's tree.

More significantly, the FHP will not be pursuing criminal charges after an investigation of Elin Woods provided "insufficient evidence" of domestic abuse on Tiger.

Williams noted that contrary to previous reports, investigators had no reason to issue a subpoena for any medical information that might exist from the incident.

While reports of Elin roughing up Tiger and chasing him out of the house, prompting his car crash, no claims of domestic violence from either Woods were made.

With no testimony or hard proof, it is hard to make a case.

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Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson, alleged MJ love child and sort of namesake, will not relent in his quest for a piece of the late music icon's mammoth estate.

The young man who claims to be Michael Jackson's son is going back to court in the hopes of getting a slice of his fortune, even though he was already nixed.

The people who run MJ's estate turned him down once before (we all know Michael's only real secret son is Omer Bhatti), but that's not gonna stop Prince 2.0.

Prince Michael Malachi filed "objections of rejection" paperwork in L.A. County Superior Court, begging a judge to "have determined that he is the biological son of Michael Joseph Jackson ... and gain whatever benefits he is entitled to."

Those being jack.

Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson Picture

Is this Michael Jackson's love child? It's doubtful.

The Jackson estate had rejected the claim Prince Michael Malachi Jet Jackson made back in August, even though the now-24-year-old provided a California birth certificate which lists Michael Joseph Jackson under the "father" section.

You can write anything you want on those things, but hey. Whatever you want to call "evidence," you go ahead and provide there, PMMJJ.

Let us know how it goes.

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Is Lindsay Lohan finally moving on from Samantha Ronson? Last night at Butter in NYC, it seemed like her sights were set on none other than John Mayer.

The two were seen sharing a table and dancing at the nightclub. If John wants to make good on his wish to bang more girls, that's a good place to start!

Although there was no PDA, a source says LiLo seemed very interested in John Mayer. It's unclear if they discussed her dad's fake suicide Tweet threat.

"She would follow his every move," a source close to the starlet said. "He would dance with the waitresses and then come back. She was way into it."

La Lohan

John Mayer. Lindsay Lohan. It's pretty much inevitable.

Belvedere was the drink of choice for their table, but Lindsay, surprisingly passed on shots that were offered up. John, unsurprisingly, downed them.

So what happened at the end of the night?

LiLo and John were still partying together at 3 a.m., according to a source. No word on whether the douchebag left with the troubled actress or not.

John's camp is staying quiet on this possible toxic pairing, and with good reason. "No comment," they told E! when asked about the train wreck.

L.L., of course, already Twittered about their night together ...

Lohan

You heard it here first. John Mayer is a butter face. And a d-bab.

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A couple of strong women and (mostly) popular figures, Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin, lead Barbara Walters' list of the 10 Most Fascinating People of the year.

For better or worse, the reality TV mother of eight and former governor / V.P. nominee are certainly fascinating. You just can't look away from what they do.

Same is true of car wrecks on the other side of the highway, but no matter. Few get people talking like Kate and Sarah - or a certain new big name in music.

Controversial American Idol alum Adam Lambert, whose music and sexually charged performances make him a tabloid staple, is another member of the list.

Red Carpet Lambert

Adam, Sarah and Kate: Three of 2009's Most Fascinating.

Singer/rumored hermaphrodite Lady Gaga, annoying NFL star Brett Favre, Tyler Perry, and Fox News personality Glenn Beck made the top 10 of '09 as well.

Perhaps the most intriguing inclusion? Jenny Sanford, the wife of philandering South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, will also be interviewed by Barbara Walters.

The special, Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009, airs on ABC December 9. Who is your most fascinating person of 2009?

The way things are going lately, we'd think Rachel Uchitel and Jaimee Grubbs would be in a dead heat for the #1 spot, with Levi Johnston a close second.

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