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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Jake Pavelka was billed as Mr. Perfect last season on The Bachelorette.

Too perfect, in fact, for Jillian Harris, who found no spark with Jake despite the hunky pilot's good looks, sweet demeanor and readiness to settle down.

Ben Flajnik, The Bachelor Cast

Now, as the newly-minted star of The Bachelor, Jake is buckled up and will be calling the shots on the 14th installment of ABC's reality dating bonanza.

Below, he gets ready for takeoff in a new Q&A with the N.Y. Post ...

Q: You said you “had your heart broken” by Jillian on The Bachelorette. Was it weird to watch after you finished taping? How do you feel about her now?

Jake Pavelka: When I left the show, I was really very disappointed; I thought there was really a connection there. We spoke the same love language.

I felt like I had been dumped out of a real serious relationship. It was definitely tough watching Jillian on TV. I handed her my heart; it didn’t work out.

Q: You’ve said you "believe in the process" of meeting someone on The Bachelorette or The Bachelor. But a lot of the couples from the show break up.

Jake Pavelka: I don’t understand why more haven’t worked out. They make it possible to completely ignore the camera. They don’t put you in weird situations. They've never said “Can you retake this?” or “Can you say this?” Everything was realistic.

EDITOR'S NOTE: What a liar.

Q: Did you know right away who your favorites would be?

Jake Pavelka: I heard that I’d probably know my final four would be as they were getting out of the limos [on the season premiere episode]. But to be honest, I had absolutely no idea for several episodes who the final four would be.

Q: If you could send Jillian a message now, what would you say?

Jake Pavelka: "Congratulations, that’s unbelievable about your engagement [to Ed Swiderski]. I'm a huge fan. Maybe in the future we can be friends.”

Will Jake be a good Bachelor?

 

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Yesterday, readers were given the challenge of writing the best caption for this classic picture of Jon Gosselin gesturing and saying ... well, that was up to you.

Your THG Caption Contest winner for this pic: shellga.

Congratulations on a job well done! The winning entry appears below the photo, and you can click here to read the full list of submissions sent in for it.

Thanks to everyone for playing! Good luck next time!

He Likes 'Em This Big

STORK? WHAT STORK? DID SOMEONE SAY STORK??? SH...TT!!!!

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With each passing day, it's looking like less of a question of whether Elin Nordegren Woods will leave cheating husband Tiger and more a matter of when.

Moving crews yesterday descended on the family's Florida mansion, where Tiger Woods' furious wife has been living since his sexual escapades blew up.

Elin Nordegren and Her Children

"She's making plans to move out and take the kids," a New York Post source said. She's planning to go somewhere warm and Tiger-free for Christmas."

As for why the scorned spouse, who's already been seen without her wedding ring, stuck around this long? "Their son had the flu, but he's now recovered."

Workers pulled up to the Windermere, Fla., estate in a truck with ladders, buckets and rope, and began carting out items such as carefully wrapped art.

Elin Nordegren spent about 10 minutes instructing movers before driving off in her red Buick SUV with daughter Sam, 2, and son Charlie, 10 months.

Tiger and soon-to-be-ex-wife Elin Woods with kids Sam and Charlie.

Adding to Elin's stress - and giving her even more reason to divorce Tiger - might be a new claim by several Tiger Woods mistresses that he paid them.

Not just for sex, although he has been accused of that too. Reports say Tiger shelled out thousands to keep them quiet about any steamy sexual antics.

The billionaire golfer would typically wire his stable of women $5,000 to $10,000 apiece each month, although one may have landed up to $20,000.

"The money comes via a wire transfer," one of the alleged ex-mistresses said. "There's no contract about it. There's no discussion about what it's for."

We all know what it's for, though: Shutting up. Or liposuction.

Tiger Woods is also said to have contacted some of his mistresses after the epic fight with his wife over Thanksgiving weekend exposed his secret life.

"Elin took his cellphone away [after the fight], so he had to call [me] from his land line at home," one said. "He hasn't called in at least a week, though."

Tell us what you think: Elin Woods should ...

 

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Lindsay Lohan may be "in compliance" with the terms of her DUI probation, but a judge ordered the star to step it up with her alcohol education classes.

"I am going to order [that] this has to be done. It’s been long enough," Judge Marsha Revel declared at L.A. Superior Court in Beverly Hills on Tuesday.

The train wreck must now start "attending every single week" in order to fulfill the more than six months of program time necessary by July 15, 2010.

"This has to be the top priority whether she has a job somewhere else or something else comes up," Revel said. "This has to be done once a week."

Outta Control LiLo

Lindsay Lohan needs more AA meetings. And food. Holy crap, girl, you are looking pretty gaunt these days. Yech. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

The judge reiterated that Lindsay Lohan's other projects - whatever the hell those are - should not take precedence over her alcohol education program.

"Right now, the other things will take second place and this will take first place," Revel declared, setting a new Lohan progress hearing for February 18.

Guess those topless photos in random magazines will have to come second. As will updating her family's website with the latest old clothes she's selling.

Proving she's not entirely useless, Lindsay Lohan recently spent a week in India, making a documentary on human trafficking of women and children with BBC.

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Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are no longer together.

We know you're sad. Please, hold a vigil tonight in your area.

The two end things two weeks ago, even as they insisted they hadn't. "They needed time to figure it out and they were on different coasts," a source says.

"When they were finally together, they talked things out and decided they're not going to be together anymore. There are no other people involved."

"The relationship just ended, as is often the case. It just fizzled out. But they also wanted to be careful and private about it because of Reese's kids."

FAREWELL, GYLLENSPOON: Jake and Reese had a good run.

The new never talked about their romance. Earlier this month, Gyllenhaal made headline news when he used the g-word while promoting Brothers.

"I've learned so much from the kids in my life, and somehow they just become the center of your life and the way you look at things," the actor said.

"Obviously I exist in my girlfriend's world and my sister's world in a different way, but it's opened my heart and I want to be grown up as a result of it."

For now, though, it's a return to bachelorhood for ol' Jake.

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Holly Sampson wants to set the record straight:

  • She once nailed Tiger Woods, sure.
  • But since it was just that one time, and it was only his bachelor party, so he wasn't married at the time, and that doesn't make her a mistress!

That's the porn star's story, anyway. There are those pesky reports of her being a prostitute and Woods using her escort service, but what can you do.

"I'm not his mistress," she said. "I've never been his mistress."

"I just don't believe in sleeping with married men. If I had the opportunity to sleep with Tiger while he was married I would never have done that."

Mistress or not, Holly tells Extra she's currently in talks with Vivid Entertainment to star in a porn film based on her one-night stand with Tiger Woods.

Get ready to see Tiger Woods as you've never seen him!

"There are things that are in the works," Sampson said. "Honestly, parodies are hilarious. I love that stuff. I know a lot of people that love that stuff."

Vivid Entertainment cofounder Steve Hirsch, however, hopes the flick will be a more accurate portrayal of Tiger Woods' sexy fling with Holly Sampson.

"We have shown Holly a script we're working on that would sort of detail her time with the world's #1 golfer. "We're thinking more like a docudrama."

"We want her to reenact events exactly as they happened."

Wow. One of Tiger Woods' mistresses - er, sorry, one-night stands - filmed as a XXX faux-documentary. Now that would be an erotic twist we didn't see coming.

Some proposed titles:

  • Tiger's Wood
  • The 19th Hole
  • Nine (Inch) Iron
  • The Ryder (D) Cup
  • Tiger Woods' Bachelor Party
  • I Banged the World's #1 Golfer and All I Got Was a Lousy Interview on Extra and a Few Poorly-Written Articles on Celebrity Gossip Websites

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Whitney Eve, a new fashion line from Whitney Port of The City fame, hits boutiques January 30 and features everything from sharply tailored blazers and breezy rainbow-hued blouses to glittery cocktail dresses with sky-high hemlines.

Here's what Whitney told Women's Wear Daily about her line ...

WWD: How does New York differ from L.A. in terms of fashion?

Whitney Port: I think New York fashion is a lot more sophisticated, more forward-thinking. People are more willing to take chances here. People take more pride in clothing they wear and obviously they have to dress for the elements.

WWD: Do you ever see yourself venturing into accessories?

Whitney Port: I would it but I don't know how talented I'd be.

Whitney Eve Photo

Whitney Eve with Love: Port is ready for her big break.

WWD: You're at People's Revolution five days a week, as we see on The City. How do you have time to work on your own fashion line?

Whitney Port: Actually, I'm in and out of there. I have a design space in there and then I also have my apartment. Kelly [Cutrone] told me, 'This is your passion project, so you do whatever you have to do to get this done'. This is my first priority.

WWD: Other Hills veterans haven't had as much fashion success as they'd hoped. Heidi Montag's line closed quickly after and Lauren Conrad decided to bring hers to Kohl's after not weathering well in the high-end market. Does that concern you?

Whitney Port: I put myself in a different sort of realm as them. Obviously, it's scary. I think it's really hard to break out right now since the fashion industry is struggling. I mean, people don't want to spend their money on clothes right now.

You're always worried about people not understanding your point of view, not being able to get it. But I think my biggest competition is myself.

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Erin Andrews faced her stalker in court for the first time yesterday.

Not surprisingly, she pleaded with a judge to show no mercy to peephole perv Michael David Barrett, who she broke into tears when she first saw.

Minutes later, the Illinois insurance executive stood before a federal judge and admitted he hunted Andrews down at hotels in three different cities.

While he never encountered her, Barrett said he filmed videos of Erin Andrews nude through her hotel rooms' peepholes and posting them online.

"I am a victim of this sexual predator. I would like to see him immediately put in prison for as long as possible," the ESPN reporter told the court.

"I have nightmares. I walk in crowds and I see him in my peripheral vision. When I'm alone in my house, I have fears he's going to come in and hurt me."

Erin Andrews with her attorney outside the courtroom yesterday.

"I don't know [Michael David Barrett]. I've never met him. I don't know why he chose me. But I hope he never sees the light of day again."

The stalker faces up to five years in prison when he's sentenced on February 22. His plea agreement recommends about two years.

Andrews wants the maximum.

"My career has been ripped apart, something I've worked very hard for," she told Judge Manuel Real. "I am subjected to crude comments, suggestions that I have partnered in this crime. I walk into stadiums, and fans say obscene things to me."

Barrett avoided eye contact with Andrews and pleaded guilty to one felony count of stalking. Hopefully Erin gets what she (and society) wants.

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Theresa Rogers is Tiger Woods' oldest mistress and one of the first to get involved with the golf great. As such, she takes credit for all his skills in the sack.

We're serious. Rogers, who joined the loooong list of Tiger Woods mistresses after Radar Online ID'd her yesterday, is a bona fide cougar and proud of it.

Public records show she’s 49, although some reports claim she’s 47. Either way, Theresa Rogers has bragged friends about teaching Tiger bedroom tricks!

“Theresa was crazy about Tiger but she didn’t want to feel like a bought woman, a paid escort,” a source said of Gloria Allred's newest high-profile client.

“She wanted to be the woman who schooled Tiger in the bedroom."

And school him she did. What an apt pupil the lad became!

Rogers, whose affair with Tiger Woods began before he married and continued after, bragged, "I taught him all he needed to know to be a great lover!"

Continues a source close to her: I saw Theresa communicate with Tiger on a number of occasions, talking on the phone and exchanging text messages."

But probably wisely for her, and unfortunately for us, "she never shared his text messages like these other women.” Imagine that. A little discretion.

Rogers has not confirmed the affair publicly and Gloria Allred won’t comment on if she is repping her, but several sources have confirmed the situation.

At this point, it's all the same. Maybe some of the 11 "alleged" mistresses (and counting) linked to Tiger never knew the sports icon for all we know.

But the guy got around so much, we're inclined to believe Theresa Rogers. Do you really give Tiger Woods the benefit of the doubt at this point?

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MTV’s Jersey Shore is rapidly becoming America’s latest guilty pleasure - and not just for the cast's liberal use of hair gel and use of borderline offensive terms.

For these addictively trashy twenty-somethings, it's all about lookin' good. Livin' La Vida Guido may look like a joyride, but believe Pauly D, it takes some work.

"A guy from [the] Jersey Shore is a guy that is looking good, feeling confident, taking care of himself,” DJ Pauly D said of his now-infamous attire and hair.

"It takes me 25 minutes to get it right. Greatness takes time, and this hair right here is greatness. I have it down to a tee, but this is a process right here.”

You heard it here, folks. Greatness takes time.

Jersey Shore's The Situation, J-WOWW, Snooki and Pauly D.

"At the end of the day, it’s not about Italians coming together, it’s about a lifestyle,” says Jenni Farley (aka "J-WOWW") “We all live by a certain lifestyle."

"It's all about the hair, the makeup, the tans, being fit. It’s all preparation for the summer." Seconds Snooki (aka "Nicole Pilozzi"): "I look good in anything!"

As for critics who bash the show's Italian-American stereotyping, Mike Sorrentino (aka "The Situation") asks that fans of Jersey Shore show a little patience.

"It’s only the first episode and we’re only seven days in, so you have to give us a chance," says the Staten Island native. "You can’t judge a book by its cover."

No but with this show, you can come pretty close. If you haven't seen it, it's exactly as bad as you think it is ... but that doesn't mean it's not entertaining!

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