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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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The New York Post's Page Six is reporting this morning that the abrupt hospitalization of Artie Lange last weekend came after a suicide attempt.

Lange, a comedian and Howard Stern sidekick, has not spoken publicly since. Stern alluded to, but did not read the Page Six report Thursday.

From the report, posted early this morning:

"Troubled comic Artie Lange was hospitalized Saturday after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post."

"Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said."

"Lange sustained six 'hesitation wounds' and three deep plunges."

"A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mom had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding."

At first, an obviously shaken-up Stern said he would read the Artie Lange story, then changed his mind several times before deciding not to.

"I'm sorry. I just feel sick about this, I don't know what to do," he said.

Stern talked about the troubled Lange for about 15 minutes. He referred to Lange's troubles with substance abuse (the cause of his absence from the show since early December) and reminisced about his early appearances on the show.

At times, Howard Stern almost sounded like he was eulogizing his sidekick, which he realized, adding, "I don't want this to sound like a eulogy."

Get well soon, Artie.

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Monday, THG readers were given the challenge of writing the best caption for the celebrity picture appearing below. The material was nearly endless.

You all did a terrific job with this holiday-themed image, but there can be only one Kim Kardashian Kaption Kontest champion. And your winner is JO.

Unspecial K

The winning entry appears below, and you can click here to read the full list of submissions. Thanks to everyone for playing and good luck next time!

"Oh Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen can go away, but Dasher, OH! please stay!"

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Doug Reinhardt better know how to take a hint, because Paris Hilton has decided it's time to tell celebrity gossip tabloids she's ready to settle down!

She's even throwing around a pseudo-deadline for Doug to get down on one knee - and not in the way the ho-tel heiress is used to getting on hers.

"I wouldn’t rule out a wedding in 2010," Paris told Life & Style. "With how amazing everything is going with us, I see a very bright and happy future."

Just makes you melt, doesn't it?

Paris and Her Bitch

Free of his cage, Doug Reinhardt awaits instructions from his master.

"He’s taught me how real love can feel," Hilton said. "Doug’s taught me how to grow up and become more domestic, as in not going out as much as I used to."

The two broke up over the summer, but got back together and have only had one melee we know of at her house since, so you know things are going better.

It seems like Doug, who previously dated Lauren Conrad, may be getting ready to take things to the next level with the socialite too. He told the magazine:

"Paris is the most beautiful girl in the world. I am so in love with her - I feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world. She is gorgeous, smart, funny and kind. My family loves her, and she would make the perfect wife."

Can we pencil in a date now?

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Susie Ogren does not qualify as one of Tiger Woods' mistresses.

He was not married at the time they "dated," and he never even tapped that (much to his chagrin). Just the same, Susie's got some interesting gossip about Tiger!

A new National Enquirer article contains several new revelations in Tiger Woods' unfolding scandal, including allegations from Ogren that Woods used drugs.

According to the publication, which was the first to print allegations of Woods' affair with Rachel Uchitel, in 1999 the golfer sought the company of Susie Ogren.

At the time, the woman sold drinks on a golf course Woods frequented. Standard. Ogren says she accompanied Woods and several friends to dinner one night.

That's when the "little while pills" came out.

Susie Ogren is the latest to tell a tawdry Tiger tale.

Ogren claims she and Tiger each took ecstasy that night. Susie says:

"I'm sure Tiger was hoping it would turn me on so he could get me into bed, and he took the pill so casually that it seemed to me he was used to doing it."

Woods soon walked off and "seemed angry," however, and Ogren says she and Woods never had sex. That makes her one of the lucky few in the U.S.

Susie says she "dated" Tiger Woods on several other occasions after that, but that the two never became sexually intimate, which is a little surprising.

Woods married Elin Nordegren in 2004. He has two small children with her and had dalliances with many, many women over the past couple of years.

Susie Ogren never slept with Tiger Woods. Not that he didn't try, she claims. She also says she observed Woods taking ecstasy and looking like he'd done so before.

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The woman accusing Shaquille O'Neal of harassing her has had major issues with at least two other NBA players in the past, according to reports.

Vanessa Lopez has had serious legal run-ins with both Denver Nuggets forward Kenyon Martin and Cleveland Cavaliers guard Delonte West.

Shaquille O'Neal Retirement Photo

Interestingly, both took place during the same time she claims she was secretly hooking up with Shaquille O'Neal, now with the Cavs as well.

Back in 2006, Delonte West - then with the Boston Celtics - called security on Lopez, claiming she refused to leave his Orlando hotel room.

Police were called to the room where Lopez, according to the police report, accused West of making unwanted sexual advances toward her.

Shaquille O'Neal, seen here with his now-estranged wife Shaunie, is being accused of harassment by Vanessa Lopez, who claims an affair with the basketball great.

West acknowledged he had slept with Lopez in the past, but claimed he never hit on her that night. West said Lopez tried to seduce him, but he rejected her because he had another woman coming over. Police removed Lopez from the premises.

Lopez's run-in with Kenyon Martin went down in 2007 when his manager called police, claiming Lopez somehow obtained Martin's credit card.

The manager claimed Lopez withdrew hundreds of dollars without Martin's permission. It's unclear if criminal charges were filed against her.

This chick and Dwight Howard's baby mama should really get together.

Lopez and lawyer Gloria Allred are going after O'Neal for harassing her, allegedly for threatening to expose their secret affair. Stay tuned.

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Loleini Tonga, the fiancee of late NFL star Chris Henry, will not face charges stemming from the incident that led to his tragic death in December.

The Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department (N.C) "determined that there was no evidence of reckless driving or excessive speed by Ms. Tonga."

Chris Henry died December 17 after suffering a fall from a moving truck the previous day. Tonga was driving the truck at the time Henry fell.

Cops said Loleini Tonga was cooperative throughout the investigation. She says that he actually jumped out of the back of her truck, rather than falling.

She also insisted she wasn't driving fast on the day the Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver was fatally injured and "thought he would land safely."

R.I.P. Chris Henry (1983-2009).

Tonga said Henry may have been scared because he saw someone calling 911. She said he didn't jump with the intention of harming himself.

The two had argued on December 16 at the home owned by Tonga's parents in Charlotte, N.C. She didn't say what the argument was about.

She sped off in the truck, though, and it is believed Henry jumped on the back. Henry died the following day from his massive head injuries.

Police called the argument a domestic dispute and are investigating the traffic accident, but as we said above, no charges have been filed.

Chris was away from the Bengals and had been visiting Loleini's parents in North Carolina while he rehabbed a season-ending injury.

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The people have spoken, and chosen their awards.

The Blind Side star Sandra Bullock was perhaps the biggest winner at the 36th Annual People's Choice Awards, televised live from L.A.'s Nokia Theatre Wednesday, beating seriously stiff competition to be named favorite movie actress.

Her other film, The Proposal, co-starring Ryan Reynolds, was named favorite comedy.

Otherwise, it was Twilight mania as the franchise ruled the night, claiming four trophies in all, including favorite breakout actor honors for Taylor Lautner.

The vampire craze made its way to the television screen too, as HBO's True Blood sucked up the favorite TV obsession award. That show really does suck!

A Winner Again

Carrie Underwood was among the winners at last night's People's Choice Awards.

In music news, Taylor Swift continued her award show sweep, nabbing favorite female artist, while fellow country star Keith Urban won favorite male artist.

Newly engaged Carrie Underwood had plenty to smile about, too. The singer, who picked up three awards last year, was named favorite country artist.

Other major winners included Lady Gaga (favorite pop artist), Johnny Depp (favorite movie actor) and Miley Cyrus (breakout movie actress). Woo hoo!

Queen Latifah MC'd the People's Choice Awards, marking the kick-off of awards-show season in Hollywood. Follow the jump for the full list of winners ...

Continue Reading...

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She just got engaged in real life. Now Carrie Underwood is set to appear on How I Met Your Mother, a comedy in which a single guy searches for his wife!

Might Underwood be "The Mother" that Josh Radnor's Ted Mosby tells his kids about 20 years in the future (while sounding eerily like Bob Saget)? Doubtful.

As far we know, Carrie is only scheduled for one How I Met Your Mother episode as Tiffany, an enigmatic pharmaceutical sales rep and Ted love interest.

That's probably just as well. She's got a country music career to focus on, and besides, her actual fiance, NHL star Mike Fisher, might take issue with Ted!

Carrie Underwood will appear on the show in March.

Even with her short stint, Carrie joins a long line of recent HIMYM guest stars including Joanna Garcia, Heidi Montag, Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears.

The CBS comedy returns Monday for its 100th episode, when Stacy Keibler and Rachel Bilson, who some fans think has Mother potential, will also appear.

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Those familiar with 30 Rock quotes know Jane Krakowski as needy, perpetually single drama queen Jenna Maroney. In real life, though, she's settling down for good!

The lucky may? Robert Godley.

A rep for the 41-year-old actress confirmed in a statement that "Jane Krakowski and Robert Godley are thrilled to announce that they are engaged to be married.

"Mr. Godley proposed to Ms. Krakowski over the holidays."

Robert Godley has put a ring on Jane Krakowski!

The couple have been dating for over a year and have yet to set a wedding date, but "She's very happy!" a source says. It will be the Tony winner's first marriage!

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NBA star Gilbert Arenas has been suspended indefinitely after a much-publicized incident in which he allegedly pulled a gun on a teammate in the locker room.

The Washington Wizards player will not be suiting up - or getting paid - until further notice. In a statement this afternoon, NBA commissioner David Stern said:

"Although it is clear that the actions of Mr. Arenas will ultimately result in a substantial suspension, and perhaps worse, his ongoing conduct has led me to conclude that he is not currently fit to take the court in an NBA game."

"Accordingly, I am suspending Mr. Arenas indefinitely, without pay, effective immediately pending the completion of the investigation by the NBA."

Arenas is under investigation for bringing guns to the Wizards' facility, the Verizon Center, and getting into a standoff with teammate Javaris Crittenton.

It's nice to see in this photo, taken before Tuesday night's win over the 76ers, that Gilbert Arenas and his teammates are taking the situation so seriously.

The star, who turns 28 today, is thought to have had four unlicensed guns in his possession and will likely face a grand jury investigation for the incident.

On December 24, Arenas is believed to have laid his guns out and told Crittenton to pick one and make good on a threat stemming from a card game.

Crittenton joked about what happens to people who don't honor debts, and Arenas, a practical joker, may have responded this way in hopes of diffusing any tension.

It did not. Instead, Crittenton, apparently also strapped, became enraged and the two ended up drawing on each other. Suffice it to say, the suspension is warranted.

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