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Teaming up with Hilton Hater to bring you the latest celebrity news, Hollywood rumors and gossip since 6/6/06.

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Former Saturday Night Live star Tracy Morgan has gone on to star as himself Tracy Jordan, uttering nonsensical and hilarious 30 Rock quotes Thursdays on NBC.

(Watch the season premiere tonight!)

Naturally, the wild one was recently given a book deal - we really need to get him on Twitter somehow - and naturally he used it to go off on former SNL cohorts.

Hey, we said he was crazy.

Whilst recording the audio version of his forthcoming memoir, I Am the New Black, Tracy puts the brutal in brutal honesty by bashing Chris Kattan and Cheri Oteri.

"I can remember first coming on Saturday Night Live and feeling like I was on the absolute bottom of the totem pole," the incomparable actor reflects.

"I could remember when people like Cheri Oteri and Chris Kattan would probably look down upon me. I could remember those two, especially those two, people treating me like I was the invisible guy. Now look where they at."

"Cheri Oteri, she can't even get arrested. Where's Chris Kattan now?"

Ahem, he's marrying and divorcing Sunshine Tutt. But we see Tracy's point.

"They're never gonna host Saturday Night Live," he continued. "And that's not even mean, but that's what happened to me over there. They never treated me well."

"There were people that treated me beautifully, like Will Ferrell and Colin Quinn and Molly Shannon. But Cheri Oteri and Chris Kattan, I never cared for. F--k 'em."

Fortunately, Tracy spared his former SNL and current 30 Rock boss Tina Fey from his unexpected and pointless verbal rampage. Even he isn't that crazy.

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Larry Birkhead already has one special lady in his life.

Now he's reportedly going on reality TV to find another.

The ex-boyfriend of the late Anna Nicole Smith and father to her daughter Dannielynn is in talks to appear on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker, reports say.

"We are actually working, maybe, with Larry Birkhead," the show's star Patti Stanger herself said at the Fox Reality Channel Really Awards in Los Angeles.

"We are looking [into] that."

SIDE NOTE: Larry Birkhead is a millionaire?

Birkhead Picture

Stanger, who just got engaged to Andy Friedman, says she already has history with Danniellyn's mom, who she set up with billionaire J. Howard Marshall.

Yup, the one whose son she allegedly wanted to murder.

"I knew Anna Nicole," Stanger said, wanting to help out her baby daddy now. "I fixed her up back in the day and I want that child to have a great mom."

But the professional love coach doesn't think Birkhead's mate should be a star. Instead, she would match him with an "all American, down to earth girl."

Hopefully, a nice girl that likes shaggy hair, long walks on the beach and posing for celebrity gossip magazine photo shoots with Dannielynn a lot.

Patti adds that the future Mrs. Larry Birkhead should be "a nurse or a teacher that’s not into all of this who would be a good stay-at-home mother."

Tell us, ladies, would you date Larry Birkhead?

 

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Soulja Boy is either a freaking moron or he has a death wish.

In what could quite possibly be the dumbest move of all time, which is saying a lot for a rich star, the rapper wants to set the record straight: He is rich.

Amanda Bynes Twit Pic

So much so, he keeps tens of thousands of dollars in cash in a shoe box at home. He made this abundantly clear with this video. So there, all U h8rs!

Ranting and posting like a madman on Twitter, he takes issue with celeb gossip reports that his landlord accused him of owing $10,000 in unpaid bills.

Dude was already robbed last December. Funny how that works. Whatever the reason, though, Soulja Boy feels the need to Tell Em off in this way.

Soulja Boy is as smart as the spelling of his name would indicate.

Arrogant prick that he is, SB whips out wad after wad of $100 bills while one of his friends says: "wow .... wow ... wow." Yup, his friends are complete a$$holes too.

He also Twittered: "For every blog site who posted that bullsh*t, F**K YOU."

Then followed it with: "I know all you lame ass haters is Thirsty to see my downfall. But keep fucking dreaming go find another rapper to hate cuz I GOT THIS SH*T"

Hopefully, he uses one of those wads of $100s on a state-of-the-art security system, because we're guessing he's going to need it. Way to keep a low profile, idiot.

What would supposed Soulja Boy fiancee Rosa Acosta say?

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Before she picked up a celebrity gossip magazine and read all about it, Eddie Cibrian's affair with LeAnn Rimes would have been news to Brandi Glanville.

Cibrian's wife says she found out he was cheating on her through the media, according to new documents filed in their divorce case, which is underway.

Glanville, a model whose legal name is Brandi Cibrian, "first learned of his infidelity in March 2009" and never names the other woman in her filing.

It just so happens that Us posted a video of Eddie making out with LeAnn Rimes at a restaurant that same month, so there is little doubt who it is.

Eddie Cibrian, Brandi Glanville

Eddie and Brandi Cibrian in happier times.

Brandi claims Eddie, with whom she has two young sons, Mason and Jake, said he promised to stop cheating and that they even sought marital counseling.

But, by July, she found out the affair with LeAnn Rimes was still in full blossom ... again courtesy of celeb gossip media. Not being too discreet there, Ed.

Brandi also claims Eddie was unfaithful to her with at least one other woman during their marriage. That would be Scheana Marine Jancan, we believe.

Eddie and LeAnn are still together now, but keeping things on the DL.

The moral of the story: If you thought celebrity gossip never contributed to anything of value ... you're right. But he was bound to get caught sometime.

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If there's one thing Megan Fox knows how to do, it's make asinine comments in interviews. But if there's a second thing, it's getting half-naked for magazines!

Or for movies, or for SNL hosting duties, or for David Silver, etc., etc.

That said, it was only a matter of time until she got paid to disrobe for a lingerie campaign. Megan will replace Victoria Beckham as the body face of Armani.

Yeah. Megan Fox photos + 2010 Emporio Armani Underwear = yum.

Victoria's husband, David Beckham, was booted on the men's side in favor of Cristiano Ronaldo. Safe to say they're at least trading laterally if not up!

  • Megan Fox Elle Pic
  • Victoria Beckham Underwear Photo

Megan Fox is in, Victoria Beckham is out at Armani. We'll take it.

Fox will also star in a new Armani Jeans campaign, though pictures of Megan in jeans will likely inspire less saliva. And online searches for Megan Fox nude.

The 23-year-old has already posed for the underwear shoot, with black and white photos set to launch in both print ad and billboard form early next year.

Expect a lot of car accidents in January.

Who would you rather ...

 

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Held against her will for a staggering 18 years in a dump that could almost literally be described as a hellhole, Jaycee Dugard somehow emerged unscathed.

Now, with the first Jaycee Dugard photo made public since she was found alive in August, the kidnapping victim is slowly  adjusting to her normal life again.

"I'm so happy to be back with my family," she said.

Jaycee Dugard Interview Pic

She is living in seclusion with her mom, Terry Probyn, and the two daughters – Angel, 15, and Starlit, 11 – fathered by her alleged kidnapper, Phillip Garrido.

Jaycee says she has begun the slow process of recovery by riding horses, cooking meals and is thinking of collaborating on a book about what she endured.

"They are living a surprisingly normal life, considering the circumstances," Terry's stepmother, Joan Curry, tells the celebrity news publication's interviewer.

We admire her strength and wish her nothing but the best.

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The family of the late Michael Jackson is reportedly at odds over whether his three children should star in an upcoming A&E reality show about the famous family.

The buzzed-about program will reportedly include Michael's kids - Prince I, 12, Paris, 11, and Prince II (Blanket), 7, although not everyone's happy about it.

Michael Jackson Entertainment Weekly Cover

Count eldest sister Rebbie Jackson, 59, who has refused to be in the series (called The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty, set to air in December) among the detractors.

Rebbie, who has been rumored to be a potential guardian for the three children now and down the line, along with her mother Katherine Jackson, "feels Michael would be rolling in his grave if he knew his kids would be on this show," says a source.

Given that Michael fiercely guarded the children's privacy and raised them with the hope they would lead the normal life he never had, she's probably correct.

The children of Michael Jackson at the star's July 7 memorial service.

While youngest sister Janet Jackson, 43, is on board, mom Katherine, who the kids are currently living with "is just going along with things," a source continues.

Still, one of the creators of the program - which will be either five one-hour episodes or 10 half-hour episodes - says the entire family shines on the series.

"We have 23 cast members with the last name Jackson," executive producer Jodi Gomes said. "They've done a great job opening up about losing a brother."

In addition to coping with the loss of their father, the children have all been the subject of paternity rumors since he passed away. Should they be left alone?

Should Michael Jackson's children be on a reality show?

 

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Last night on The Hills, the gang threw a surprise party for Brody, Speidi bickered over kids, and Kristin and Justin-Bobby's fake relationship took a familiar turn.

As always, The Hollywood Gossip staff looks back the previous night's installment of MTV's hit "reality" show, awarding and deducting points as required ...

Stacie and Kristin go shopping for Brody Jenner's birthday. For sex toys, at the Hustler store. Kristin says Brody is too "vanilla" in the sack. Plus 5 for TMI.

In case you were concerned, the opening scene on the beach makes clear that Justin-Bobby has not become less of a douche since last week. Minus 3.

WTF happened to Stephanie Pratt's face? Bad plastic surgery alert! Minus 4.

Brody's surprise party clearly wasn't a surprise. The camera crew typically gives it away. No negative points, though, because people blow surprises in real life, too, and Plus 1 for Brody's first birthday request: "Frankie, give me a hug!"

Brody is now listed as "Kristin's ex" instead of "Lauren's friend." Plus 2.

Brody and Jayde Nicole, who he straight up calls a "b!tch," get into a major fight at the party for no discernable reason. Plus 3, though, because it's Jayde Nicole, and it's The Hills. The show is nothing without unexplained female implosions.

Audrina agrees to meet a guy named Derek who was Justin's friend, and who Justin always got jealous of because he thought Derek liked her. Hold on a second, Justin-Bobby has friends? Who apparently bathe? We don't buy it. Minus 2.

Speaking of guys who you wouldn't think have friends, Spencer Pratt confides in pal Charlie about Heidi wanting to procreate. Enter neighbor Enzo, and subsequent tube-tying comments by Spencer. All we have to say? Team Enzo! Plus 9.

Justin-Bobby pulls a no-show at Brody's party, ditching Kristin Cavallari. At least he's consistent. Maybe she and Audrina can bond over this. Okay, not really, but Plus 4.

Another Plus 2 for how happy this makes Audrina when she hears about it.

Spence: "Only a true man can wear a beaver-skin hat out to dinner." Minus 3. Seconds later: "Is this a marriage or a dictatorship?" Says the guy who was most overbearing, obsessive-compulsive boyfriend in history. Minus 4.

TOTAL: +10! SEASON TOTAL: +30! The Hills rarely disappoints. Especially when adorable little kids get Spencer all riled up, or that b!tch Kristin gets hers.

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Last night on The City, Whitney again took Roxy's advice and tried to further her fashion aspirations, while Olivia butted heads with Erin yet again at Elle.

Below, our staffers review the latest episode of the new "workplace drama" (slash The Hills spinoff), awarding and deducting as many points as we see fit ...

Whitney and Lauren: VH1 Divas

Whitney Port has by far the best pronunciation of any celebrity. Girl paid attention in school. We even love how she says "Previously. On. The. City." Plus 2.

This isn't really relevant, but Spencer Pratt seemed pretty certain on Twitter that Whitney had plastic surgery in high school. Say it aint' so, Whit! Minus 1.

Roxy Olin on Whitney's designs: "I would definitely wear like half of those sketches. I'm very impressed." Plus 1 for that obviously backhanded compliment.

Surprise, surprise, Olivia Palermo looks bored and passive-aggressively feuds with Elle PR boss Erin Kaplan for the third consecutive week. Zzzz. Minus 3.

Kelly Cutrone rules. Plus 4. She doesn't beat around the bush at all when criticism is needed, but also tells Whitney Port she'll always be her "loyal bitch."

At the Roberta Freyman Showroom, and Rachel Roy's offices, Olivia attempts to show that she can hack it in this business. Can she? Still unclear to us, but apparently yes, according to her boss. Plus 2 for how much Erin hates it.

Minus 1 for Samantha Swetra trying to rip off that cute Lauren Conrad hairstyle!

Roxy is the Stephanie Pratt of The City. Useless, and just kinda there. Minus 3.

The Bergdorf Goodman buyer Whit meets with is named Sunni. Yes, Sunny, only spelled wrong. Minus 1. But Plus 2 for giving it to Whitney straight and kind of blowing her off. You can't expect to be a famous designer overnight!

Kelly on Whitney's visit to Sunni, which was Roxy's idea: "Yeah. It's always a good move to take advice from a girl from California who's been in New York all of two weeks and knows [bleep]." Burn! So sarcastic. So true. Plus 5.

Whitney Port as a celebrity fashion designer is something we can actually kind of buy. She seems invested in her career and at least semi-legit. We're only giving it a Plus 3, though, because that doesn't always make it fun to watch.

TOTAL: +10. SEASON TOTAL: +7. Not necessarily the most compelling half hour, but refreshingly light on the staged confrontations and BS this week.

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Apparently A.J. Lamas is one of few guys who hasn't banged Shauna Sand.

The Playboy model claims she's not a notch on her stepson's bedpost, despite  a horrible rumor that her ex-husband's reality show may be trying to perpetuate.

Sand claims the pilot of Leave it to Lamas was based on a "lie" that she had sex with A.J. Lamas, Lorenzo's son. Shauna is, like, totally hurt by the accusation.

Because, after all, it would totally sour her pristine reputation if true. Says the star of the hilariously staged, graphic PR stunt that is the Shauna Sand sex tape.

Shauna Sand Crotch Shot

Did A.J. Lamas hit it with his former stepmom?

In any case, Shauna says it never happened, and released this statement:

"It turned out the whole first episode of Leave it to Lamas revolved around a lie that the Lamas family concocted about me sleeping with my step-son A.J."

The skanky Sand continued: "This story is absolutely untrue and I'm absolutely sick of being used and ridiculed by this family for the benefit of their show."

She's cool with using the debut of their show to generate buzz for her nasty video, though. When Shayne Lamas sees through your act, you've got issues.

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