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When you consider that Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton both got divorced around the same time last year…

… and both got divorced from other celebrities…

… and then started dating each other pretty soon afterward…

… things around the singers have been surprisingly calm and uneventful.

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Sure, there were the usual cheating allegations at first, but Shelton and Stefani seem very normal and happy and in love and their exes – Miranda Lambert an Gavin Rossdale – haven’t made much noise about the couple in the press.

UNTIL NOW!

According to the unreliable latest issue of OK! Weekly, Stefani and Lambert just engaged in a major "showdown."

There’s also talk on the cover about a "secret reunion" between Blake and Miranda.

What on earth is the magazine rambling about?

Apparently, Shelton and Lambert met up backstage at the ACM Honors last week. Witnesses say there was no bad blood evident between the artists, who were married for about for years.

That’s great, right?

Not if you’re Gwen Stefani.

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“Blake thought [Stefani would] be happy they’d gotten the chance to call some things water under the bridge,” a supposed source tells OK!.

“Instead, though, it sent her into a panic.”

The cover story goes on to allege that Stefani actually texted Lambert to "stay away from her man," which is hilarious and totally awesome if it happened.

“Gwen went on a rampage, and Miranda didn’t hold back either," the tabloid adds.

"God help them all if they come face to face anytime soon.”

Ah, so this reported "showdown" all took place over text message. We see.

The cover claims that Stefani believes Lambert to be "white trash," but if we were to believe every tabloid cover story about Gwen and Blake, well…

They’d be planning a major wedding:

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Or, actually, they’d already be married:

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So you’ll forgive us if we aren’t buying what OK! is trying to sell here.

It remains unclear whether nor Stefani and Shelton are even engaged.

But it’s not unclear at all that Stefani never texted Lambert to stay away from her man. That’s ridiculous.