The throne shalt not be occupied by any King Cue Ball!
'Tis the battle cry of Kate Middleton and Queen Elizabeth, who are positively beside themselves with humiliation over Prince William's ever-growing bald spot, according to Celeb Dirty Laundry.
The Duke of Cambridge endured a bit of ribbing about his hair loss from a former colleague during a visit to Anglesey earlier in the week.
"It was nice to see him again. He hasn't changed much apart from he's lost a bit more hair. Hey, we're all getting older!" said former Royal Air Force winchman Rik Maving.
Bold chap, he is, insulting a royal like that. Lucky for him the prince didn't order his beheading.
Apparently, Kate, who was with him at the time, was mortified, as was his grandmother Queen Elizabeth.
They are of the mind that the smooth-n-shiny look is not one befitting a future king and are spending $30,000 on a hair transplant to restore William's "royal mane."
"The future King must look younger and vibrant, and this will be achieved only if William has a full head of hair. Experts in hair transplantation have been dispatched to Kensington Palace – in secret of course Royal courtiers reveal."
We can hear Kate's voice now.
Care for a spot of tea, darling? And while we're at it, why not a spot of Rogaine? Oh, blimey, just get the bloody transplant surgery already!!!
I think its safe to say we're calling bollocks on this entire story.
While it's true that Will's scalp is revealing itself more and more, we're fairly certain Kate and the queen would rather have the prince bald than looking like Donald Trump.
Naturally, Prince William isn't the only one getting flak for his appearance. The duchess has also come under fire recently for her horrible eyebrows.
It's no wonder Kate wants to ditch royal life and move back to Wales. (Not really, but we'd totes understand.)