You can call Drake on his cell phone this weekend, but he'll definitely be too busy to pick up.
You see, this year's NBA All-Star Weekend is being held in Drizzy's native Toronto, and in addition to the fact that the rapper will be directly involved with the festivities as the Raptors biggest (and only?) celebrity fan, he also has big plans for an after-after-party in his bedroom.
Yes, according to Hollywood Life, Drake is hoping to star in the big-bootiest threesome in recorded history by bedding Amber Rose and Blac Chyna...at the same time.
“He’s telling his friends how bomb it would be to kick it privately with these two media mavens," says one insider. "High-key, Drake’s a fan of both of them.
"They’re both confident with a bad attitude. They party like they’re dying tomorrow. And most importantly, they have banging bodies with ba-dunk-a-dunk that he’d love to grab and hold onto!”
Obviously, that quote is top-to-bottom amazing ("High-key?"), and the best part is we could really picture Drake saying it.
Needless to say, it's incredibly unlikely that Drake will bang both Amber Rose and Blac Chyna this weekend, and not only because Blac just started dating Rob Kardashian.
Even so, we like to believe that he's trying.
Blac plus Amber plus the All-Star Weekend would equal the ultimate combination of Drake's two greatest loves:
No, not auto-tune and turtlenecks. We're talking about sports and gigantic asses!
It's a shame his relationship with Serena Williams didn't work out, but it's not too late for the man to achieve peak Drizzy. Godspeed, Aubrey.