Queen Gives Will and Kate The Crown, Tells Charles To Get Lost

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There's a gold badge that says "Palace Confirms," so it must be true.

OK! Royal Rumor Tabloid

As the eyes and ears of the British Monarchy, OK! Magazine has broken the story of the century.

JK, it's a load of sheep manure.

This week's cover claims that the Queen has skipped the Princes of Wales and instead selected his eldest son, Prince William as monarch of the UK and Commonwealth realms.


"They are so incredibly excited,” a source told OK! Magazine of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. “They always knew this day might come. They just never expected it so soon.

Apparently the lovebirds "started crying" when the Queen told them over the holidays.

"It took a minute to sink in,” the source said.  “Kate hugged and kissed William, and it was a completely overwhelming moment for them.  

"When Kate told George, ‘Mummy is going to be Queen,’ he went off to draw a family portrait and castle!”


The Queen's reason for relinquishing her responsibilities is so she and Prince Philip, 94, can enjoy their lives together.

“She wants to spend every possible moment with the man who’s been by her side for 70 years," the insider said.

"She’d hate for something to happen to him while she’s away on official business.”

Here's the thing: Philip has accompanied the Queen on nearly every one of her official engagements, at home and abroad.

No one's told Prince Charles yet, which is a shame because he's been waiting to to inherit his birth right.

Oh well!

No period of mourning will take place, as it usually does when one monarch passes.  This means that the coronation will happen this spring.  What fun!

Oh, and Catherine's already started redecorating Buckingham Palace, which is weird because there isn't a lot of money set aside for much other than repairs. The plumbing and wiring hasn't been updated in over 50 years, so those new window treatments will have to wait.

Having spent a lot of time studying royalty, the laws of succession and the relationships between members of the House of Windsor, there are a lot of stories like this that irritate me.

Surprisingly, I find this one more entertaining than most (especially the bit about George drawing a family portrait).

Why?  Because the Duke of Cambridge has done everything he can to push off his destiny for as long as humanly possible, and he and the Duchess of Cambridge take on fewer royal engagements than other members of their family because they want to focus on their children without the burden of the crown.

William has told royal aides that he wants to not think about becoming king for as long as he's able to.  

The prince is also known to be a bit stubborn and set in his ways, an attitude that many believe comes from the death of his mother, the Princess of Wales, at the hands of paparazzi.

William knows that reporters and photographers comes with the territory, but he also insists that he and his family be allowed to live as normally as possible until he inherits the throne.  

He considers the position a burden he is not yet ready to take on, as he's shown through accepting a job as a co-pilot with the East Anglia Air Ambulance service.  Traditionally, no direct heir to the throne has ever taken on a civilian job.

William has also made no secret that he doesn't not intend to leap-frog anyone in order to become king.  

Both he and Her Majesty know how long Charles has waited to inherit the throne, and as a woman who declared her dedication to duty in Westminster Abbey over sixty years ago, the Queen will not abdicate or retire as many of her contemporaries have.  

Being monarch is a job for life, and one that the Queen will do until her last breath.

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