Kanye Wants to Host Oscars, and Give One to Kim Kardashian

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Chris Rock, host of this year's Oscar ceremony, is one of the funniest people alive. But Kanye West may have just beat him - although not intentionally.

A new report from HollywoodLife indicates that Kanye is more than willing to fill in for Chris Rock should he decide to boycott the Oscars along with Will and Jada Smith.

Kanye and Kim at the VMAs

[Cue uncontrollable laughter.]

“Kanye would host the Oscars in a second. If Chris Rock backs out Kanye wants in," a source told the site.

O, what a madcap ride that would be. 

Nevermind that they usually give that gig to professional comedians or at least folks who are universally liked with proven public speaking skills.

Kanye's first order of business, should he become host? 

Awarding an Oscar to his wife, Kim Kardashian.

“He told Kim he’d even add a new category, Best Actress in a Reality Television Show," said the source. "And of course, he’d give the award to Kim because well, he feels she is!"

[More laughter.]

Someone needs to take the the King of Delusion aside and explain to him that:

A. For the past, oh, 88 years, the Oscars have recognized achievement in movies only - not television

B. If its "reality television," she's not actually an actress, as in, if it's "real," she's not technically acting.

We could only envision an Oscars in which Kanye would simply pick and choose the categories and winners himself, regardless of who was nominated.

Best Actress would go to Kim, naturally, and all other awards would go to Kanye.

I'd watch four hours of that.

Now, here's the final punch line, provided by the source:

"Kanye would kill for all that air time and would also use it as a platform for his presidential run in 2020."

Of course. Why didn't Hillary think of that? 

Why don't we just give Kanye a diamond-encrusted gold crown and inaugurate him as Supreme Ruling Emperor of Everything so he can go off to a remote island forever satisfied that he won life.

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Kim Kardashian Biography

A Kim Kardashian Selfie
Kim Kardashian is the ex-girlfriend of Nick Cannon, Reggie Bush and Ray J. She had intercourse on camera with the former, which is what... More »
Born
Birthplace
Los Angeles, California
Full Name
Kimberly Noel Kardashian

Kim Kardashian Quotes

So far, designing is the most exciting thing I’ve done... I have a vision of what I want [the clothes] to look like in my mind and it’s fun to see it come alive on paper.

Kim Kardashian

He just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.

Kim Kardashian [on Barack Obama]