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Larry Birkhead was only the beginning.

If you watch The Millionaire Matchmaker online, you know that for seven years, Patti Stanger’s been hooking up couples on cray cray dates on her hit show.

In last night’s season premiere, Stanger took on a new type of client: D-list celebrities! Because like anyone else, “they want love and [to get fixed up] with real people.”

Of her star-studded change in direction, Patti said, “Why not show the truth behind the veil and show [the world] that celebrities are just like everybody else?”

Why not, indeed. Her first client? Anna Nicole Smith baby daddy Larry Birkhead, who she says was just the appetizer to a season full of celebrity dates.

Such as Dina Lohan, for example.

“Some were divas and some were not,” Stanger says, not naming Dina specifically. “But the person you would think that would be the most diva was not.”

Gotta be Lindsay’s mom, right?

 

Perhaps it’s TLC’s Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas, who “was hard because she had a wall up. She didn’t know what to expect and she had a bad experience with her other reality shows.”

That’ll do it every time.

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Watch The Millionaire Matchmaker Season 8 Episode 1 Online

Perez Hilton represented another challenge, “because he knows everyone in West Hollywood and I knew that was going to be my Achilles heel.”

But like Birkhead on The Millionaire Matchmaker Season 8 Episode 1, Perez “is very open to love. He was actually one of the easiest people to match up.”

Stanger also dished on another star who came on the show – not as a client, but as an expert, lending her romantic advice to Patti and her projects.

“Kristin Cavallari came on [and] I call her ‘the shredder,’” Stanger says of the former Laguna Beach cast member. “She tells the story of how she lost Jay Cutler.”

They broke up “because he was pulling s–t and she broke up with him before Dancing with the Stars and [then] she gets him back. She’s the ultimate shredder.”

We’re not entirely clear what that means, but we’ll be watching for sure, because it sounds like must see TV. It’s also sort of what we do, so you don’t have to.