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When your Facebook friends have kids, you’re bombarded with photos and videos of everything from first steps to first semi-solid bowel movements.

But when celebs have kids, it’s pretty much the only time they lay low.

Why? Because first baby photos can equal big money, and what’s the point of being famous if you can’t exploit your kids, right?

For example, Kourtney Kardashian welcomed her third kid almost a week ago and she still hasn’t released a photo or even the kid’s name!

That may not seem like a big deal, but bear in mind that this is a Kardashian we’re talking about.

Kourtney may not be as selfie-obsessed as her sisters, but a week without social media for a Kardashian is like a week without oxygen for us mere mortals.

But the demand for Kourt’s baby pics is high, and she could end up pulling in seven figures for the exclusive rights. Just one of the many ways in which pays to be famous.

In fact, there are few better indications of where one falls in the Hollywood hierarchy than how much the media cares when you bring a new life into the world. (We know that sounds cynical, but bear with us.) 

Back in October, Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher had a kid, and the press was so hungry for a photo that the Kutch posted a bunch of decoys online. They’re A-list, baby, and they had an A-list baby.

By contrast, Megan Fox welcomed her second son in February and, well…no one really cared.

Okay, obviously her family and friends cared, but media attention was minimal because – let’s face it – Megan’s not as famous as she used to be, and she’s married to freakin’ Brian Austin Green, for some reason.

Look, all babies are cute and they’re all a testament to the boundless potential of human life, so when we rank the biggest births of the year, we’re not talking about the kids themselves, but the accomplishments of their parents.

It’s all about how much your pics bring in before that crucial first birthday, because this is Hollywood…where your last name is often your most valuable asset, and you can start cashing in before you learn how to walk.