This week, on Duck Dynasty Season 6 Episode 8, the Robertsons returned to their roots: Duck calls. And someone returned one of said duck calls, citing poor quality.
If you watch Duck Dynasty, you know there have been some "Before the Dynasty" vignettes lately, showing the gang before their rise to A&E reality stardom.
Throwing it back to 2009, we saw Jase Robertson read a customer complaint stating, “To whom it may concern, bought duck call, sounds good, it ‘wables.’”
Consulting the dictionary and failing to find what “wables” means, Jase realized the customer meant that the call wobbles, when rolled across a flat surface.
As Jase told the concerned customer, “if it doesn’t wobble, it wouldn’t work.” And with that, all was right with the warehouse again. Elsewhere in West Monroe?
Phil showed up with a smelly plastic bag full of beaver dung. Standard.
“Why did you bring the dung to the office?” asked Willie, as if there was a reason Phil would provide that would somehow make any sense. It's Phil.
“The problem with these boys, you can’t just tell them," the patriarch lamented of his quest to show his sons the proper way to track a beaver, obviously.
"You have to give them a visual cue. In law it’s called ‘habeas corpus,’ as in show me the body. With beavers, its ‘habeas dungus,’ show me the dung.”
And thus, they set out to show the beavers the napalm.
Seriously. Si has napalm they used to torch the dams.
“Beavers eat entire trees,” Phil explained. “Whatcha gonna do if you own a bunch of land and you say. I don’t want this to all turn into a bunch of dead snags?’
“I’ve talked with them to try and get them to understand it, but they won’t work with me. Therefore, you follow their dung and put a bullet in their head.”
Or spray their homes in napalm and shoot a flaming arrow at them, as Jase brilliantly decided they should. Despite Jep's concerns that they would die, he proceeded.
Back in civilization, Willie attended his daughter Bella’s karate class. It was not as successful for him as Jase's beaver excursion, but equally entertaining.
“To be honest, I took it a little slow 'cause I didn’t want to steal [Bella’s] thunder,” Willie said, very convincingly. So thoughtful of you there, Boss Hog.
As always, you can follow the link to watch Duck Dynasty online, and click to see photos of the bearded brethren before their hirsute fame in the gallery below: