The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 9 Episode 12 Recap: Fake Baby, Real Drama

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This week on The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 9 Episode 12, there were fake babies, there were real babies (adult ones), and real drama.

And puppies. Puppies!!

As always, you can watch The Real Housewives of Orange County online to experience it for yourself, in full. But here's a recap of what you missed ...

Vicki Gunvalson, the Mayor of Puerto Vallarta, jumps on the bar to dance in vintage Vicki fashion. She certainly is who she is and does not hold back.

That also means being a great friend (to Shannon), being a terrible friend (to several other people), and being totally delusional about Brooks Ayers.

Tamra Barney is still carrying around a fake baby in a totally non-scripted storyline that would absolutely take place in real life with people you know.

Eddie Judge, who doesn't want a baby, is fighting with Tamra, as his her grown son Ryan, and not simply because of any roid rage. It's getting awkward.

Heather Dubrow is out for family time with her family talking about how important family time is before the nanny comes and takes the kids out for ice cream.

Nothing says family like Heather. Because she wants another cute critter someone else will take care of, Heather says they should get a dog too.

In Mexico, David and Shannon enjoy some horseback riding time Vicki arranged ... and by enjoy, we mean her whining, bitching, and trying to humiliate Dave.

When she's not mocking him, beating him down about every little thing or acting like a general crazy person, she is basically begging him to love her.

It is uncomfortable and heartbreaking to watch and borderline ridiculous that they allow it to be filmed and leave it as a legacy their kids will have to endure.

Lizzie, meanwhile, is at a store trying to sell her swimwear line, as Tamra and Eddie send their fake baby back to the company for a report of how they did.

Spoiler alert: Eddie still doesn't want a child with her!

Tamra says she was always been planning on them having a kid, which is a bizarre considering 1) her age, 2) she has four already, 3) he's never wanted one.

Spoiler alert #2: The results are in. They fail!

But at least we know that Tamra can breastfeed Eddie if she's so inclined. There's some imagery we know you wanted to start your Tuesday morning.

At the last supper in Mexico, Brooks actually asks the group who they like the most, and the least. Apparently Brooks is 60 years old going on 10.

After David says they are "disappointed" in Tamra, Brooks says he and Vicki are at odds with the fact she still talks to her. Hope he doesn't beat her for it.

Back home, Heather sets up a pen for two new dogs that were not from a shelter, despite how crucial it was that her kids know about shelter dogs.

Tamra and Vicki come together for a totally not-forced conversation to recap the week's events, as fans are left to wonder where it all went wrong.

And tune in next week for the next chapter of Shannon's meltdown.

What did you think of The Real Housewives of Orange County Season 9 Episode 12? Share your comments on the unforgettable installment below ...

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Heather has become a real lying biotch and her husband just stands by and lets her get by with it. Shannon is driving her husband away with all the whining and dramatics. And why hasn't Vicki dumped that crook Brooks yet? Thought he got into some trouble recently???
Tamra needs to GROW UP! And Lizzie's kid running around asking for a diaper? She is not a good mother or housewife and she sure doesn't need another child; she can't take care of the two she has. Ever hear of potty training?

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I really hope Shannon puts Heather in her place next week! I'm TIRED of Heather telling people that Shannon YELLED at her. She obviously don't know what REAL YELLING IS, I'd be happy to show her. On EVERY episode I see Heather lying or exaggerating about something. I"m thinking she forgets she's on NATIONWIDE TV. And Terry, GOOD LORD - that man has no balls whatsoever when it comes to Heather, and when Heather is berating somebody or being the typical B/WITCH she is, he just stands there with a smirk on his face - when he SHOULD BE reminding her WHAT she LOOKS like when she's being condescending toward people. I'm tired of seeing Heather's bottom lip pop out when she gets mad at somebody, then she darts those wicked evil eyes of hers at her victim - I use to like Heather, til she got to full of herself - now, after seeing how she really treats people - NOT SO MUCH anymore, NOW I just want to see someone put her down with the same wit she uses, minus her lies. It's a shame to because she IS a beautiful woman, but her treatment of others and then the way she lies about it makes her ugly inside and out. I just think Shannon needs to keep her personal business TO HERSELF and not tell OR TRUST any of those other women - which BTW, her circumstances is WHY I don't trust nor do I have ANY female friends. I'll stick with my male friends who don't go around gossiping and lying ABOUT ME - maybe Shannon should just find some male friends to hang with, BUT NOT MEN LIKE TERRY who are being dominated by their wives. We don't know HOW Dave treated Shannon the first few years of their marriage, maybe it wasn't so good and she got tired of it, and so NOW Andy's gonna add her on there to bring drama to the show, but I can relate to Shannon - and she's one female I don't think I'd mind being friends with. I truly see where she's coming from with her husband and I would almost BET HE use to be the instigator, and now she's fed up, but still wanting to make things right with him and just be loved by him, and for him to SHOW IT. I KNEW the first episode that I saw how they were together that he had obviously hurt her deeply SOMEWHERE along the way, we just didn't get to see THAT, we're seeing the AFTER effects of her hurt - which is lashing out at him - that's how my marriage is after being treated poorly and put last by my husband for the first 10 years of our marriage. Funny how the men always look like the victims when the wife has had enough, because by then, WE DO TEND to show our BUTTS around people when our husbands have hurt us, or at least me being an Aries DOES - it's called being hurt deeply, and hopefully they'll be able to heal everything wrong in their marriage and make it right again.

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@ Robin

Are you on crack!