In a deeply personal essay for Elle UK, Kesha opens up about her recent stint in rehab and the pressure of Hollywood that helped land her there.
"I've written songs about partying, but my dirty little secret is that I'm actually incredibly responsible," the singer writes. "I take my music and career very seriously, and certainly didn't land in this situation from partying.
"But I was cut off from the outside world and I imagined people making up stories at a time when what I really needed was support."
Kesha (no more dollar sign) then admits she needed help for an “eating disorder” and explained how such an ailment came to be:
"I felt like part of my job was to be as skinny as possible, and to make that happen, I had been abusing my body. I just wasn't giving it the energy it needed to keep me healthy and strong."
The artist said she couldn’t help but compare her figures to others around her.
(And it didn't help when Dr. Luke reportedly slammed Kesha's body during a music video shoot.)
"The music industry has set unrealistic expectations for what a body is supposed to look like, and I started becoming overly critical of my own body because of that," she writes. "I felt like people were always lurking, trying to take pictures of me with the intention of putting them up online or printing them in magazines and making me look terrible"
Kesha says she became "scared" to walk around in public or even go online.
The musician spent two months in rehab.
"During that time I began to feel a shift in my mentality and really started to understand my own self-worth. I started to not worry as much about what other people thought of me," she says. "I could focus on my music and my happiness and not what I looked like."
Is sharing her story frightening for Kesha now? Yes.
But she hopes it helps people facing similar struggles:
"I'm not fully fixed - I am a person in progress - but I want to be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Even I need to be reminded that we are who we are. And when I say that, I f--king mean it, now more than ever."