Step aside John Kerry, because Farrah Abraham is speaking out on the violent conflict in the Middle East and how to bring peace to the war-torn region.
With the death toll in Gaza climbing by the hour and Israel at loggerheads with Hamas, there's no time to lose. Fortunately, we now have a road map to peace:
While it's a bit unfair, and perhaps even mean-spirited, to ask Farrah Abraham about peace in the Middle East, she could've sidestepped the question.
Being Farrah Abraham, of course, she did not do so, instead proceeding to ramble on for a minute and a half spewing complete and utter nonsense.
Highlights from the Teen Mom star's epic foreign policy analysis:
- She's dated people from both sides of the conflict (?!)
- They need a "common goal of not being religious"
- The fighting is partly a religious thing, partly a pride thing and partly an egotistical thing, but whole economies are suffering as a result
- What they need to do is look at those parts of their society and "maybe just not want to kill each other and get rid of somebody like Hitler"
There you have it. In her defense, Farrah is less familiar with Peace Agreements than Piece of A$$ Agreements, if you know what we're talking about.
We're talking about her signing a porn contract with Vivid.
The big winner in all of this, at the end of the day? Selena Gomez's Palestine Tweet, which now makes the pop star look like a regular Henry Kissinger.
I think having a TV show that shows your personality and your intimate life, you know, showing your best friend, and then showing having sex ... to me it's kind of the same thing because both things are intimate.
- Permalink: Sex Tape vs. Teen Mom
I feel like if I can't show my true self, and if I can't explore who I am, then it would be lying to myself and I would stunt my growth. So if I feel like opening up a restaurant, opening up a gentlemen's club, opening up a children's clothing store, and doing songs, books, everything that I feel like doing, I'm going to do it. It suits me well.
- Permalink: It Suits Her
I think moving on in my future and in my career that is something that I am proud of at the same time I'm using it as a positive rather than a negative, which is hard to deal with at times.
- Permalink: Huh?!?
I just want to bring great prices and better products to the world and be creative all at the same time, and I think that's what I'm good at business-wise. That's Farrah. If you know me, that's me.
- Permalink: Better Products
Against all odds of everybody else telling me not to sell it, not to do it or whatever - it was already out, it was already going to be out there for free, so I made a business deal out of it. I'm smart, and I'm happy that I did that.
- Permalink: Smart Business Woman
I am not a porn star, I'm going to be done doing adult gentlemen's clubs and exotica expos soon you know. At first I loved doing that, meeting new fans that appreciated me as being on Teen Mom and having a sex video that was out. Now I feel like it's gotten too far and I just kinda want to be done with that. I think going out and doing some of these things are fun, but when it gets to a point when itâs not fun, it's more distracting, I'm not about that anymore.
- Permalink: I'm Not a Porn Star!
I have friends who are in the adult entertainment industry, and that is something that they make their full income off of. That is what they dedicated their life to. And if thatâs your choice that's fine. Personally, making a sex tape, and that's all I've ever done, that's not being a porn star. I live a very different life. I canât help what the public perceives.
- Permalink: No, I'm Really Not a Porn Star!
You're very close with [fans], so in that aspect, in that light, I think it's only helped me be more honest and a hardworking person because I have more going on than my personal life, I have a professional life. So that's how I feel about that.
- Permalink: True Professional
[On James Deen] I don't need to talk negatively about someone because I have nothing good to say. He should really just get out of the porn industry because things have gotten to his head, he disrespects women, and his penis is small. I haven't seen many but his definitely was not big.
- Permalink: James Deen Sucks!
[To Charlie Sheen] You sound like you have mental issues, (hints maybe you need some anger management counseling) given your disgusting lash out towards my body and my relationship with my daughter which each are both the epitome of perfection.
- Permalink: Take That, Charlie Sheen