Farrah Abraham is out of her mind.
As she promotes her erotic book trilogy Celebrity Sex Tape and spews utter nonsense regarding that literary gem each and every day, there's never a dull moment.
Her latest noteworthy comment?
Asked who she would tap to play her novels' semi-autobiographical protagonist, Fallon Opal, the Backdoor Teen Mom star aimed high: Sandra Bullock!
The 23-year-old single mother of Sophia, 5, says that while "fans have been asking her to star" in a movie version of her new book, that does not interest her.
“I think I’ve done, myself, enough TV, and me, obviously I would never be in a video or a movie of my book because that would be crazy,” she tells Us.
“I mean, I guess I could - didn’t the Wolf On Wall Street guy kind of do it?"
"Even though, it was such a different story and it was kind of absurd when like the plane goes down in the ocean, and I was like what?”
Okay, moving on ... as for who she could see appearing as Fallon?
“I want to have like other awesome actresses and actors Jessica Alba. Or like, Sandra Bullock is like really good, too. When you’re an actress you can play any age!”
[On daughter Sophia] I have my own life and [I'm] doing [my] own thing. She has her own life and she does her own thing.
I think having a TV show that shows your personality and your intimate life, you know, showing your best friend, and then showing having sex ... to me it's kind of the same thing because both things are intimate.
I feel like if I can't show my true self, and if I can't explore who I am, then it would be lying to myself and I would stunt my growth. So if I feel like opening up a restaurant, opening up a gentlemen's club, opening up a children's clothing store, and doing songs, books, everything that I feel like doing, I'm going to do it. It suits me well.
I'm young, I'm 22, and I'm a single mom. On the flip side, I'm a very good mom. I work very hard. I'm probably one of the best parents you're ever gonna meet. That's who I am.
I think moving on in my future and in my career that is something that I am proud of at the same time I'm using it as a positive rather than a negative, which is hard to deal with at times.
I just want to bring great prices and better products to the world and be creative all at the same time, and I think that's what I'm good at business-wise. That's Farrah. If you know me, that's me.
Against all odds of everybody else telling me not to sell it, not to do it or whatever - it was already out, it was already going to be out there for free, so I made a business deal out of it. I'm smart, and I'm happy that I did that.
I am not a porn star, I'm going to be done doing adult gentlemen's clubs and exotica expos soon you know. At first I loved doing that, meeting new fans that appreciated me as being on Teen Mom and having a sex video that was out. Now I feel like it's gotten too far and I just kinda want to be done with that. I think going out and doing some of these things are fun, but when it gets to a point when itâs not fun, it's more distracting, I'm not about that anymore.
I have friends who are in the adult entertainment industry, and that is something that they make their full income off of. That is what they dedicated their life to. And if thatâs your choice that's fine. Personally, making a sex tape, and that's all I've ever done, that's not being a porn star. I live a very different life. I canât help what the public perceives.
) #XXXâ¬I KNOW WHAT'S OUT. Don't talk to me about it! Thanks âª
You're very close with [fans], so in that aspect, in that light, I think it's only helped me be more honest and a hardworking person because I have more going on than my personal life, I have a professional life. So that's how I feel about that.
[On James Deen] I don't need to talk negatively about someone because I have nothing good to say. He should really just get out of the porn industry because things have gotten to his head, he disrespects women, and his penis is small. I haven't seen many but his definitely was not big.
[To Charlie Sheen] You sound like you have mental issues, (hints maybe you need some anger management counseling) given your disgusting lash out towards my body and my relationship with my daughter which each are both the epitome of perfection.
Knowing my sex tape was out there for everyone in the world to see... was overwhelming, I wanted to hide my face and not go out or pick up my phone.
[Also on her DUI arrest] I was drinking throughout the night but I was just getting drinks from friends and I was not really trying to drink.
[On her DUI arrest] I did not endanger anyone's life.
Jenelle [Evans] has all the potential to turn her negatives into a positive like I have.
I'm trying to do something in my own way. I'm staying true to myself.
I really enjoy at this time of my life writing about sex. I think it's because I'm 22, and kind of single. What better to express yourself in a positive way than writing.
They need to look at those parts of their society and maybe just not want to kill each other and get rid of somebody like Hitler.
I say go where the getting is good. I'm not going to find such marriage material at a club. I do dabble with, like, some businessmen that I do meet.
Somewhere, an eager Sandy is already on hold with her agent.
Pipe dreams aside, she's got a lot of things on her plate these days, though Farrah Abraham says she has no future plans to put out another sex tape.
At least not before marriage to some eternally lucky man.
“I think the healthiest way for me to continue being Farrah and who I am is to continue writing erotic novels,” she says, noting with her trademark modesty:
“Being so sexy, I think that’s for when I get married. If I ever do another sex tape, I’m probably going to do it with my husband, and you can just celebrate marriage with me.”
In the meantime, she's still considering other film roles: “I will be acting in two movies, and I’m kind of staying closer to roles that are Christian-based."
Because nothing spells Christian like Farrah Abraham.