Woman Actually Named Crystal Metheney Gets Arrested in Florida

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Move over, Florida man.

And make room for the most amazingly-named Florida woman in state history.

Crystal Metheney (REAL NAME!) was arrested a few weeks ago, although not for living up to her unusual moniker and pulling a Walter White.

Instead, Crystal Metheney (REAL NAME!) was apparently booked for holding a missile and, according to the Polk County Police report, charged with “shooting into an occupied vehicle.”

Crystal Metheney Mug Shot

The 37-year-old was released after posting $5,000 bail and also has a previous arrest for marijuana possession.

Earlier this year, a man named Edward Cocaine was arrested for the possession of Xanax pills in Florida. Also, a woman named Brittany Boozel has crossed paths with Florida authorities at least six times.

Seriously.

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THAT'S BULLSHIT ! I KNOW THAT PIG !! THAT'S TUGBOAT ANNIE !!!! I ALMOST DID'NT RECOGNIZE HER WIFF O UT HER CCORN COBB PIPE

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so this arrest was made up.

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