Don't worry, readers.
No way does the premise of the following video apply to your mother.
Your mother is clearly a saint. Your mother never did any drugs or slept with anyone except your father. Your mother never swam naked.
But, with Mother's Day on the horizon, Jimmy Kimmel Live tracked down a handful of parents last night and asked them to reveal a number of secret about themselves.
The results were horrifying... to their children. But hilarious to us!
We now adore these moms.
And we also adore the following celebrity moms: