Juan Pablo Galavis may not love Nikki Ferrell, but he sure loves his CAPS LOCK and issuing advice to the new star of The Bachelorette, Andi Dorfman.
Not that he watches the show, of course. He WON'T be!
We're guessing Juan Pablo doesn't read The Bachelorette spoilers, either, or cares who she picks. But in an open letter to Dorfman, he offers some "advice."
"Today I want to wish the BEST to you Andi Dorfman on your JOURNEY as the Bachelorette," he writes, seemingly without IRONY with his random capitalizations.
"I'm GLAD to hear that now you have gone THROUGH the process, some of the things that we TALKED about while we were on The Bachelor which to you seemed NEGATIVE, became your REALITY."
He went on to praise Andi for being kind to Nikki Ferrell.
"Thanks for being one of Nikki's best friends, no one in the world wants BETTER for you than Mi Catira and I know you do for her also," he went on.
"You were lucky Nikki was your best friend and I CHOSE her jajaja, cause if not who was gonna HELP give you TIPS for your contract before the show."
"And explain you VERY well what you were getting into jejeje. It was GREAT Facetiming with you and also seeing you and Nikki smile to each other after a few months APART."
Of course, he had to bash ABC in his epic FACEBOOK rant:
"I Wish you the BEST and hope you follow the MOST important advice I gave you, to STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF at all times and not to fear what 20 hours of a show could look like."
"As long as you can put your head on your PILLLOW and be totally at PEACE, knowing that you did the right thing and that you weren't a PUPPET, like TONS of other people who decided to do this show."
Galavis concluded his post by telling her he was boycotting The Bachelorette this season, and every season, but it's not about Andi Dorfman or anything personal.
Just because it's so not real, man. So not real:
"I WON'T be watching the show, and I don't want you to FEEL that is because of you, I would just RATHER wait till the END and for you to tell me EXACTLY how your experience was."
"I have NEVER seen The Bachelor or Bachelorette before I was on it, and watched just because I wanted to know how my AMAZING experience would be portrayed on a TV show."
"The result, you know IT... jejeje. Best wishes and like I said, HOPE you STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF, but if not, It's OK... jejejeje. Besitos, Juan Pablo Galavis."
Words to live by, Andi. Words to live by.