In assessing, reviewing or describing FOX's new reality series I Wanna Marry Harry, all one really needs to do is read the network's own press release:
I just feel like everything keeps adding up. Why is Kingsley calling him 'sir'? I mean, this must be Prince Harry.
I hope I have what it takes to be next to somebody with such stature.
American girls don't seem to have inside voices ... They're very forward.
There are a lot of girls in the house that aren't princess material.
The guys I'm used to dating just get me drunk and make out with me in the back of the bar.
Even though they're like smiling at me ... their face is saying, 'How was it?', but their eyes are saying, 'I'm gonna shank you in your sleep!'
My name's Chelsea. I'm a little off my rocker, but it's fine ... I hope I don't sound ignorant saying this, but I don't know what Prince Harry looks like.
We don't have tea parties where I'm from. I don't think Long Island Iced Teas count.
We're at Downton Abbey!
It's every girl's dream - rich, handsome, and, for those who dream big enough, royal.
We will go to extreme lengths to protect his identity.
Don't do too much alcohol tonight, sir, in case you give the game away.
Who else has Secret Service? The queen? The president? Michael Jackson? I don't think he's any of them.
Summer love is in the air as 12 American women travel to England for a chance of a lifetime with a man whom they think is Britain’s most eligible bachelor.
Join this diverse group of ladies, from a preschool teacher to a pre-med student, in their journey across the pond, to meet their “royal” Mister Right.
On the first night at the enchanting estate, Matthew (or “Sir” as the ladies call him) throws a lavish masquerade ball where he reveals himself for the first time.
When the masks come off, will sparks fly or will the spell be broken?
LOL. Matthew, of course, is Matthew Hicks, a British environmental consultant and not Prince Harry as the women are led to believe, but never outright told.
Likely for legal reasons, Hicks never technically claims to be Prince Harry, skillfully dodging all questions that would ask him to declare this on the record.
He does show up in a helicopter, and will take the women on extravagant outings with one of the women, showing off privilege only a royal would have.
Or so one would think. The long con is totally, and hilariously, on.
The illusion is bolstered by Kingsley (real name Paul Leonard, an actor) who works as a butler and also a host for the girls and his “master” Hicks.
Kingsley also ran the “Harry school” that taught Hicks how to be Prince Harry, grilling him until he could pass for Kate Middleton's brother-in-law.
In a sense, it's half dating show, half prank. Kind of brilliant.
Gathering a bunch of men or women and asking them to fall in love is absurd enough, as we see on The Bachelorette, but it sure can be entertaining.
I Wanna Marry Harry takes it to a new level, playing the women not only against each other in a Bachelorette style quest for love, but as morons in general.
This is trashy reality TV at its best and worst, so perfectly executed by its production team and "cast" and it can almost make you forget how bad it is.
This train wreck of epic proportions, loosely inspired by FOX's own Joe Millionaire a decade ago, will not disappoint those entertained by such things.
There's no illusion about that.