Dean McDermott to Tori Spelling: If You Had Just Put Out Before My Trip ...

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Either Dean McDermott is a real piece of work, or he and Tori are both doing an incredible job coming up with the level of detail in the fabrication that is True Tori.

If this sneak preview clip from tonight's episode is even half true?

Dean may be the biggest jackass imaginable, trying to justify his affair with Emily Goodhand last winter by playing the sexual compulsive martyr card.

That's right, he's blaming his cheating on Tori Spelling on Tori Spelling, for not letting him get in her pants within 12 hours of his business trip, as he prefers.

Sounds like some "honest" line Juan Pablo Galavis would say.

Essss okay, Dean, because you've now pleaded your sex-starved case to the Lifetime cameras (and quote-unquote therapist) ad nauseam. Poor fella.

Not only is his wife not fantastic at sex, it's totes infrequent!

Almost makes you feel bad for Tori Spelling. Almost. Okay, not really, because she clearly has lost any self-respect or integrity by doing this program.

She probably should've just bailed on Dean altogether, too, as he seems thoroughly devoid of redeeming qualities, but why let a good crisis go to waste?

These people ...

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Dean McDermott Quotes

"I'm miserable and I'm unhappy." - Dean, getting right down to business, and not just because a lizard crawled onto him (which did happen obviously)

"What's keeping you in this marriage?" - True Tori producer to Tori, who cried and said that when there are children involved, you look at it differently (on reality television if at all possible)