Chris Brown's trans-American, shackled journey has finally brought him to Virginia, where he's in the general population at Northern Neck Regional Jail.
The singer arrived on the East Coast after a five-day trek from California, stopping to pick up other inmates along the way. Sounds like it sucked royally.
He's set to stand trial in Washington, D.C., for assault starting April 17. If convicted, he could be sentenced to years behind bars for violating probation.
That's the bad news. The good news?
The Northern Neck Regional Jail, just outside his hometown of Tappahannock (where he lost his virginity at age 8), lets him shower whenever he wants!
No, he's not getting special treatment, but as an inmate in the general population with no restrictions, life is way better than 23 hours of solitary confinement in L.A.
Well, provided there are no Rihanna fans filing down crude shanks as we speak. Then it could get ugly, and he'll no doubt be harassed by other inmates.
Still, consider the perks in this piece:
- Exercise Yard
- Meals in the Cafeteria
Basically the Four Seasons of Jails.
Really, who needs Tinseltown when you can watch TV and read books, call Karrueche Tran whenever you want and only moderately fear for your life?