Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin might be making us sick with their snooty talk about "conscious uncoupling," but it turns out the famous couple may be involved in a down-and-dirty divorce, just like how us peasants do it.
Sources close to the couple tell TMZ that Chris and Gwyneth are indeed splitting amicably, but not for the reasons they've claimed.
Turns out the couple is terrified of having its dirty laundry aired in public and both parties are worried that if they fight over money or custody court documents could end up in the tabloids.
So what kind of secrets are they concealing? Well, for starters, Gwyneth's affair with Donovan Leitch and Chris' relationship with Alexa Chung are still just the subject of rumor and could seriously damage the couples' reputations if the affairs were confirmed in court.
We can only guess as to what else the Martin-Paltrows could be hiding, because Gwinnie is notoriously protective of her public image and will likely stop at nothing to keep her ugly side as private as possible.
Of course, she's already revealed that she's an elitist snob who looks down her nose at non-celebrities and working moms, but sadly, we don't think Gwyneth sees that as a bad thing.
Despite all her secrecy Gwyneth has been publicly hinting at a divorce from Martin for years. See below: