Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin might be making us sick with their snooty talk about "conscious uncoupling," but it turns out the famous couple may be involved in a down-and-dirty divorce, just like how us peasants do it.
Sources close to the couple tell TMZ that Chris and Gwyneth are indeed splitting amicably, but not for the reasons they've claimed.
Turns out the couple is terrified of having its dirty laundry aired in public and both parties are worried that if they fight over money or custody court documents could end up in the tabloids.
So what kind of secrets are they concealing? Well, for starters, Gwyneth's affair with Donovan Leitch and Chris' relationship with Alexa Chung are still just the subject of rumor and could seriously damage the couples' reputations if the affairs were confirmed in court.
We can only guess as to what else the Martin-Paltrows could be hiding, because Gwinnie is notoriously protective of her public image and will likely stop at nothing to keep her ugly side as private as possible.
Of course, she's already revealed that she's an elitist snob who looks down her nose at non-celebrities and working moms, but sadly, we don't think Gwyneth sees that as a bad thing.
Despite all her secrecy Gwyneth has been publicly hinting at a divorce from Martin for years. See below:
I've learned more about myself being married than anything else. I hate to say, "We've got it worked out," because you never know what's going to happen, but we laugh, we're good friends, we like to do the same stuff.
It's hard being married. You go through great times, you go through terrible times. We're the same as any couple.
I definitely have to coax things out of him when we talk. You know, he's British, so it's a different lexicon totally. But you have to communicate. Otherwise there's no relationship.
We've gone through some terrible times where it's been really, really hard, but I've sort of come through those times with a much deeper understanding of myself. And we're still married. We worked through it. I think it's easier to get divorced. But I think the more you keep at it, the more you end up seeing the value in it. But man, sometimes it is not easy.
Sometimes it's hard being with someone for a long time. We go through periods that aren't all rosy. I always say, life is long and you never know what's going to happen.
I'm a very grounded, homey person and Chris is a very mad scientist, genius songwriter. So I never say, "Where are you? You should be home by now." I never place demands on him.
When two people throw in the towel at the same time, then you break up, but if one person's saying, 'come on, we can do this,' you carry on."