Forget the demand for the ever-popular Kim Kardashian sex tape.
Something else related to her won't stop growing: Her rear end!
According to the latest issue of celebrity gossip tabloid In Touch Weekly, Kim is going through a "diet disaster" because her "butt won't stop growing!"
Look at that thing! It's bigger than the ego of Kanye West!
Sorry. These people just make it too easy sometimes.
The magazine alleges that during a recent outing in L.A., Kim's “backside strained to escape the confines of her trousers,” an embarrassing incident documented on the cover above.
“Kim is desperate to lose weight," a totally real source tells the tabloid.
It's a noble aspiration, yes, "But she gets lazy and loves to eat."
This is an extra big problem at the moment because the Kimye wedding is scheduled for May and Kardashian fears she'll look “atrocious” and be “humiliated" at the event.
Even if that's true, though, whatever. Won't Kim just be getting married again in a couple years? You have to admit, it's a question worth asking given her track record.
Either way, the tabloids will have a field day with her for years to come ...
1. Kim Kardashian Butt Problems
Oh no! Kim Kardashian's butt won't stop growing! What will the reality star do?
2. OJ as Khloe Kardashian's Father?
Bombshell alert! OJ Simpson may be Khloe Kardashian's father. Do you believe this rumor?
3. Kim Kardashian: Under Kanye's Control!
Kim Kardashian is apparently being controlled by a madman named Kanye West. Tough break for the reality star.
4. Kardashians Split!
Is it all over for Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick? Yes, based on this cover story.
5. Bruce Jenner Tell-All?
Is Bruce Jenner going to write a tell-all? We doubt it, but you never know.
6. Kris Jenner and Ben Flajnik Cover
Kris Jenner has been hooking up with Ben Flajnik. This cover story confirms it, clearly.
7. Kourtney Kardashian Wedding Story
Is a wedding finally on the way for Kourtney Kardashian? This magazine claims she will tie the knot with Scott Disick.
8. Kim Kardashian is a Cheater!
Kim Kardashian is a weight loss cheater! And she's apparently been caught by Life & Style.
9. Kim-Kanye Wedding Cover
The Kim Kardashian-Kanye West wedding is on hold, people! Will they ever make it down the aisle?
10. Khloe Kardashian: In Tears!
Khloe Kardashian has one question when it comes to her sister's engagement: Where is MY happy ending?!?
11. Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner Cover
Are Kylie Jenner and Kendall Jenner teenage trainwrecks? Yes, according to Star.
12. Bruce Jenner to Destroy Kris Jenner?
Bruce Jenner is out to destroy Kris Jenner. Will he succeed?
13. Kim Kardashian Bikini Body: The Return!
It's back! Kim Kardashian has regained her bikini body! We knew she could do it!
14. Kim Kardashian on Life & Style Cover
Kourtney Kardashian is pissed at Kim Kardashian, according to this tabloid. She wants her sister to "act like a mom."
15. Kim Kardashian and her New Body
Kim Kardashian has a new body! Hooray for her! Check it out on this tabloid cover.
16. Exposing the Kardashians
Kris Jenner's sister cannot remain quiet any longer. She spills the family's secrets in this issue of In Touch Weekly.
17. Kim Kardashian Dumped Cover
Kim Kardashian has totally been dumped by Kanye West. Too bad. We liked these kids together.
18. Khloe Kardashian Baby Cover
Khloe Kardashian wants to adopt. Who cares about her problems with Lamar Odom?!?
19. Lamar Odom Tell-All Claim
Lamar Odom is totally writing a tell-all... if you believe this tabloid cover for some reason. We somehow do not.
20. Double Kardashian Divorce?
We know Khloe Kardashian has been going through a lot. But this cover story claims Kris Jenner is also headed for a divorce.
21. Khloe Kardashian Divorce Story
Khloe Kardashian could headed toward a $75 million divorce. Are you buying this cover story?
22. Kim Kardashian Baby Plea
Kim Kardashian apparently wants the world to meet North West. But this tabloid cover claims Kanye is against it.
23. Kim Kardashian: So Tortured!
Kim Kardashian is reportedly tortured by her very own body. That has to be kind of awkward.
24. Khloe Kardashian Kover Klaim
Khloe Kardashian is facing her worst nightmare. Lamar Odom clearly had unprotected sex with another woman.
25. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Story
No way Kim Kardashian is pregnant again.... right?!? Try telling that to this tabloid cover story!
26. Kim Kardashian Wedding Story
Kim Kardashian wants to marry Kanye West. According to this Us Weekly cover story, at least.
27. Khloe Kardashian Star Cover
Khloe Kardashian is not looking her best in this photo. She is not acting her best, either, apparently.
28. Kourtney Kardashian: Pregnant Again?
Is Kourtney Kardashian pregnant again?!? Yes, according to this tabloid at least.
29. Khloe Kardashian Tabloid Picture
Khloe Kardashian will raise her baby alone, dammit! Granted, she doesn't have a baby. But still.
30. Khloe Kardashian In Touch Cover
The marriage between Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom is on the rocks. If you believe this issue of In Touch Weekly.
31. Khloe Kardashian: Done!
Khloe Kardashian is totally done with her marriage. If you are believing this tabloid cover, that is.
32. Khloe Kardashian Cover
Will Khloe Kardashian be next? This cover story claims she is dead set on becoming a mother.
33. Kim Kardashian Weight Story
Kim Kardashian is obsessed with losing her baby weight. So states this In Touch Weekly story at least.
34. Kim Kardashian: I Just Can't Do This!
Kim Kardashian says she just can't do this. At least In Touch Weekly claims she says that.
35. Kanye West Cheating Claim
Kanye West totally cheated on Kim Kardashian. If this cover story is to be believed, that is.
36. Kim Kardashian Life & Style Drama
There may be drama in the delivery room for Kim Kardashian. Will she get a C section?!?
37. Kim Kardashian on In Touch Weekly
Poor Kim Kardashian. It looks like she'll be all alone in her delivery room when the big day arrives.
38. Scheming Kim Kardashian?
Kim Kardashian has a plan! She is totally gonna sell baby photos behind Kanye West's back!
39. Broke Kardashians?
Are the Kardashians really broke?!? Yes, if you somehow believe this tabloid story.
41. Khloe: Hotter Than Kim?
You had your chance, Kim Kardashian! But Khloe is clearly hotter than you now.