Three months after Amber Portwood got out of prison, she's sober and savoring her hard-fought sobriety, but admits she still wants to get high sometimes.
In a chilling scene on her MTV special Being Amber, she revealed that “I’m always gonna want to get high,” just like she "always" was on Teen Mom.
“I’ve f--king been wanting to get high all day, since I woken [sic] up this morning,” the mother of five-year-old daughter Leah says. “I swear to god.”
Despite getting sober in prison, where she spent the previous 17 months, she says that staying clean on the outside is much harder than she’d expected.
“Being free is so much different than being in prison and being sober,” Amber Portwood said, adding that every single passing day, “It’s just so hard!”
“I’m always gonna have triggers. I’m always gonna wanna get high. That’s never gonna go away. My best way to cope right now is hanging out with family.”
She's been staying true to that philosophy, at least thus far.
As previously reported, Portwood recently spent a happy family day with baby daddy Gary Shirley and their daughter at an outing to Disney on Ice.
Co-parenting has been amicable, but that's where it stops.
Amber admitted on the show that she could see herself getting back together with Shirley, the feeling isn’t mutual. He’s moved on with a new girlfriend.
He's even said he will fight to keep custody of their daughter, not because he's spiteful toward Amber, but because he truly believes it's best for her.
Portwood did time after failing to comply with terms of a drug program that was part of her probation following an arrest for domestic battery against Shirley.
She currently has random drug tests and regular meetings with a parole officer to stay on the straight and narrow, where she remains ... for now.
Amber Portwood: Can she stay clean?