Amber Portwood breaks down emotionally in her upcoming MTV special, Being Amber, about some of the past mistakes she's made. It's not a short list.
Unlike former co-star Farrah Abraham, who will also be featured in an hour-long special, Being Farrah, on Sunday night, Amber is keenly self-aware.
Prison will do that. Following her release from the big house last November, the Teen Mom alum returned home to Indiana to be with her 5-year-old daughter.
Readjusting to life in the real world has not been easy, though, especially when the reality of how much time she missed with Leah starts to hit home.
"I feel so f--king bad," she says, sobbing. "I left her for so long...I know why she's acting the way she is. She's afraid that I'm gonna f--king leave her again."
"I just f---ing hate myself for everything I did," Amber Portwood continues tearfully. "It was all the drugs and s--t. It was all I did. All I did was get f--ked up."
Indeed, the 22-year-old Portwood confessed to Dr. Phil in December that she was high "every time" she appeared on camera on Teen Mom, or close to it.
The reality star even did drugs while in treatment for drug use, no less.
1. Amber Portwood-Gary Shirley Fight
Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley FIGHT on MTV's Teen Mom. It's one for the ages right here.
2. Farrah Abraham Sex Tape
Farrah Abraham, star of the original Teen Mom, went on to star in a porn video called Backdoor Teen Mom, which she tried to pass off as a "leaked" sex tape.
3. Jenelle Evans Beats Up Girl, Gets Arrested
Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans beat the crap out of Brittany Truett a few years ago in one of the more graphic fight videos we've ever seen.
4. Farrah Abraham on Dr. Phil
Farrah Abraham gets put in her place by Dr. Phil. You gotta watch this interview clip.
5. Jenelle Evans Fights Roommate
Jenelle Evans fights her roommate in an epic scene from Teen Mom 2.
6. Kailyn Lowry Fight
Domestic violence is not just for Amber Portwood. Kailyn Lowry gets into a fight with now husband Javi on Teen Mom 2.
7. Teen Mom 2 Commercial: Barbara Raps!
Jenelle's mom Barbara actually sort of raps in this awesome ad for Teen Mom 2.
8. Teen Mom 3 Trailer
There was a Teen Mom 3 for one season. Then it was canceled, but here's a look at some of the drama those girls faced.
9. Teen Mom 2 Trailer: Season 5
Teen Mom 2 Season 5 begins January 21 on MTV. Here's a look at some of what you can expect.
10. Leah Messer's Miscarriage
Leah Messer suffered a miscarriage before getting pregnant again with new husband Jeremy Calvert.
11. Leah Messer-Corey Simms Split
Leah Messer and Corey Simms shockingly broke up after a wedding and two daughters together.
12. Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra (In General)
Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra are step-siblings and parents and lovers. That alone is pretty insane, but they make it work.
Kieffer Delp romanced Jenelle Evans for a time and contributed to some of her more epic meltdowns.
14. Amber Portwood in Jail
Amber Portwood did time for drug charges. HARD time. She was locked up for about a year and a half.
Drugs weren't the only thing she abused, as Gary Shirley found out.
After a lengthy list of legal troubles, Portwood saw jail as the best way to get clean. Many questioned that decision, but it looks she may have been right.
Rehab stints for her addiction to prescription pills proved unsuccessful, and in May 2012, she asked a judge to send her to prison for five years.
Now that she's out, Being Amber isn't easy, but it is sobering.
Listening to her reflect on life now, she sounds every bit like a young woman who knows how she failed but is trying to turn it around. Here's hoping she succeeds.