The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Carlton Goes Sex Shopping

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This week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Carlton Gebbia and her husband, David, visited the Hustler store for some bedroom gear.

Nothing scripted about that at all. Or the fact that Carlton's mother-in-law joined the two of them, which wasn't awkward in the least. Oh no chance.

The mother-in-law is unfazed by Carlton's raunchy persona, though she does draw the line at Carlton's American flag bikini, calling it "too revealing."

Meanwhile, Yolanda called Brandi Glanville with a "911" situation of zits on her face for the night of her seven year anniversary with David Foster.

These are big issues when you're a real housewife.

Elsewhere on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 4 Episode 9, Ken and Lisa decide to host a dinner so Brandi and Joyce can work stuff out.

Spoiler alert: Stuff was not worked out smoothly.

After some filler about Kim's dog at camp (seriously) and Kyle and her daughters trying on clothes at her store for her "fashion show," it's time for the main event.

No, not Carlton working on her sex room. Although that did happen. She's not about to let kids tame the wild, sexual freak that lurks deep down. Not a chance.

Lisa tells Brandi that Joyce Giraud is coming to dinner, and of course Brandi is not looking forward to seeing her, venting to Martin before Joyce arrives.

Needless to say, it took about five seconds before Lisa's / the producers' aspirations for a "fresh start" between Brandi and Joyce proved completely futile.

After Brandi gets the hint that Michael and Joyce are talking about her, she tells Joyce that they have mutual friends and they don't speak highly of her.

Then they start arguing about what Brandi told Joyce on the phone about Lisa, their stories differ, and the insults start flying left and right. Ding, ding!

Joyce asks Brandi if the only reason she brought along these two particular friends was to prove that she's not racist, which she's been accused of.

Lisa jumps in to try to quash the beef, but Joyce gets pissed at her too, believing she was lured to dinner just to be sabotaged by drunken Barbie.

Yolanda tries to shut things down as well, but there is no silencing Joyce at this point, just like there's no containing Carlton Gebbia in the red room.

Eventually, Brandi is dropping f-bombs and getting more wasted than usual, even by Brandi standards, and the whole night turns into one giant mess.

One you really should see for yourself. When you watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills online, you'll see that we can't even do this mess justice.

Choose your side in this epic RHOBH beef:

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