The Real Housewives of Miami Recap: Feel the Love

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The Real Housewives of Miami turned Joanna Krupa into "Mrs. Zago" this week... but it wasn't easy. We recap a wedding journey worthy of a hangover in THG's +/- review.

Joanna lamented being "stuck a rental car with these crazy bitches…" on a road trip from Las Vegas to San Diego. Maybe she should have thought about that before they decided to board that party bus. Minus 18.

Mr & Mrs. Zago

Could no one figure out how to set an alarm? The morning after was almost completely over by the time these party goers woke up…and missed their flight.

When panic set in it was Lea Black to the rescue. Plus 30. She rented an SUV and the ladies headed out on a high speed road trip.

Unfortunately there were one or two pit stops…literally. Lisa Hochstein had to puke on the side of the road while Adrianna found a bush to hide behind to take a pee.

Minus 22. Way to keep it classy ladies.

And I had to wonder where their luggage was. Lisa's bags alone wouldn't have fit in the back of that vehicle. I'm guessing Bravo had a production truck trailing behind.

Finally they make it to the wedding venue in time for the rehearsal dinner as Romain rightly chastised his bride to be that, "It's always the same thing when you drink. You just f*ck it up."

Well no one can say he didn't know what he was getting in to.

But other than that initial drama everything else went off without a hitch. Plus 35.

The venue was beautiful. The flowers, exquisite and best of all everyone got along.

Marta and Romain made nice. Romain's brother flew in from Brazil and even Joanna's divorced parents were well behaved.

The only blip on the radar was Lea and Adrianna. Adrianna wanted so badly to have things go back to the way they were between her and her former best friend…but that just wasn't meant to be. Minus 15.

As Lea said, "If I never saw her again for the rest of my life it would make my life better and not worse."

Sometimes you can't go back. Better just to move on and it looks like Lea and Adrianna are truly done.

Other than that everyone looked quite happy.

Alexia's son Peter showed up to surprise her and the mom couldn't have been more thrilled. Plus 11.

Lea had her family there and Lisa shared some big news. She and Lenny picked a surrogate. That's a big step for Lisa. Plus 17.

Best of all was how at peace Joanna Krupa looked. She was calmer and happier than we've ever seen her on the show. Plus 50. Isn't that the way it should be on your wedding day?

Romain was just adorable as he walked down the aisle and then got too choked up to read his own vows.

These two were just beaming with love.

With the season over we got a few tidbits about where our Housewives end up:

  • Supposedly Romain and Joanna haven't had sex since the wedding. Minus 20. Do we really need to keep tabs on their sex life?
  • Lisa and Lenny lost their surrogate. We hope they find a new one soon.
  • And Lea Black may be running for mayor of Miami.  At least she can keep the town in high end moisturizer and sun protection.

At the end of the season the ladies share a group hug. How long will it last. Just tune in for next week's reunion to find out how it all falls apart.

EPISODE TOTAL: +68! SEASON TOTAL: -500!

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