Mary Jaggers, a 58-year-old Florida woman, was arrested after allegedly calling 911 to report that there was too much drinking going on at her local bar.
Best of all? This was not a one-off occurrence.
Jaggers called dispatchers six times, reports indicate, to alert them to the stunning presence of intoxicated individuals at Artie's Sportsman Lounge in Hollywood, Fla.
She wanted all the bar patrons arrested, too.
Officers eventually arrested Jaggers for misusing the 911 system. During their investigation, they found hydrocodone and charged her with drug possession.
Which may explain a lot, come to think of it.
Not to hear her tell it, though. Jaggers appeared in court and told the judge that she made the 911 calls because she didn't want anyone to drive drunk.
Noble? Perhaps. But Broward Circuit Court Judge John Hurley still ordered Jaggers to steer clear of Artie's and controlled substances in general.
Probably for the best, we'd have to say.
"I have a feeling that the mixture between Artie's Bar and the hydrocodone probably led to count two, the calling of the 911," Hurley told WPLG-TV.
Most likely. No word if Jaggers also worries about people restaurants eating or drinking too much. Other recent classic, vitally important uses of 911: