Katy Perry kissed a girl and she liked it. Russell Brand gave a male stranger a hand job in the bathroom of a London pub and didn't like it all that much.
So the comedian shockingly claims, noting it was all for British documentary series he was working on at the time with the goal of exploring social taboos.
That's one way of putting it.
As part of his social experiment Re: Brand, Russell recounted the story in great detail a podcast interview with fellow British comedian Richard Herring.
“I w**ked off a man in a toilet," he said, matter-of-factly.
"I thought, ‘I think of myself as heterosexual but perhaps that’s ‘cause of the environment that I grew up in where homosexuality may have been difficult for me to express.’”
Admitting that he was in the grips of heroin addiction at the time, Brand goes into graphic detail about the day he looked for a stranger to be part of the sexual experiment.
“I trawled around Soho…going [to] various gay bars, gay gyms trying to pick people up with a film crew. I went in this pub and I goes: ‘Anyone want me to wank them off?’
“And this bloke goes, ‘Yep’. Like as if I was saying: ‘Does anyone want a packet of crisps [potato chips] from the bar…?' So we goes to the lavvy."
"It's me, him, the director, and… he gets his willy out. And it was not nice. The phallus is… I like mine and you see some others in paintings that look all right but his looked like a rag.”
Brand does not stop there. He recalls of his next step, “I took it betwixt my fingers thusly. It were [sic] like massaging a naked mole rat and it wouldn’t go hard!
“And we’re… in the toilet with the director standing there filming me and he goes, ‘I think…it would be easier if I was able to touch yours’.
“And I [thought] ‘F**king hell mate, do us a favor!’ And the director goes: ‘Go on Russell it would be funny…’ So I take down my trousers and pants."
"Then the bloke sort of mauled at my genitals while I wanked him off.”
Brand was determined to do a good job, too, admitting, “I’m such a sex narcissist that, even though I’m not gay, I still wanted to be good at giving him a wank…”
The whole incident eventually came to a messy conclusion, Russell Brand says. Only “after about 27 and 11 minutes, he spat a string of grey j**m.”
“My hand feels all funny just remembering…He was a right weirdo.”
The handjob episode was one of just a series of social taboos the comedian admits he explored in a “very irresponsible, cavalier, slapdash fashion.”
The zany Brit also had a bath with a homeless person, lived with a Nazi, French-kissed a “little old lady” and stayed with a prostitute and her family.
All in the name of comedy. Guy goes all out.