Nice try, Jeffrey Laub.
This 39-year old Utah resident was pulled over for speeding a few days ago - after leading police on a 111-miles-per-hour chase! - and tried to explain to a judge on Wednesday that he just REALLY needed a bathroom at the time.
Laud said he was going all Justin Bieber through Logan Canyon because he desperately required a toilet… but 1st District Judge Thomas Willmore pointed out that he passed numerous outhouses along his dangerous journey.
Laub was charged with impaired driving, reckless driving, speeding and open container. He will spend seven days in jail.
Summed up Willmore after listening to the criminal's case: “That is one of the worst stories I have ever heard."