The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: WTH Is She Wearing?

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey is back for another episode and "Hair We Go Again" with the bad hair and worse singing.

We break down the need for a better hair weave and the purple pimp hat in our THG +/- review.

There were so many things that were just bad in this episode, like this outfit of Teresa's...

What Is She Wearing?

I'm not sure we'll have space to share them all. But let's try.

We'll start off with Melissa Gorga. No, her hair is good. It's her singing that needs work. Lots of work. Minus 15 because listening to her vocal exercises was just downright painful.

But hubby Joe Gorga doesn't hear one off note or off key moment. To his ears his wife has the voice of "an angel from God." Plus 20 It must be love…or he needs his hearing checked. One or the other.

That vocal coach pulled out every trick he knew and all Melissa could say was, "at least I know the words."  Minus 18.

The sad part is that there are very talented singers out their clamoring for their shot…and we've got housewives who can barely remember the lyrics on our screens.

If anyone out there has any suggestions on how to get the Real Housewives to STOP SINGING, I'd love to hear from you. Someone needs to stop this madness.

Moving on…Kathy and Richie Wakilie get their son a new Jeep for his birthday. When Kathy points out that the Champagne balloon on the car might be inappropriate (i.e. promoting drinking and driving) Richie tells her, "Don't you like have a cannoli to fill. Leave us having fun by ourselves."

Minus 30. Heaven forbid there be one grown up in the family. Every week I like Richie less and less.

Oh, but he's not done yet. Crowing about the great gift, he tells his son, "I just extended your penis by two inches, instantly."

I can't even comment on that one. I'm done here.

The Manzo boys finally open Little Town restaurant and all went well but I have one question. Ketchup on rice balls? EwMinus 10.

Teresa Giudice has a sit down with Victoria Gotti and all I can say is WTH is Tre wearing?!?

The purple outfit with the huge hat had me reliving flashbacks of that 1970s cop show Starsky & Hutch. Tre suddenly reminded me of the pimp, Huggy Bear with that outfit.  Hell, that just earned her a plus 25. How often is something outrageous enough to remind you of Huggy Bear?

Oh goody. Kim D. is back and Posche is expanding to Posche II.  Minus 50.

Do Kim D. and Penny have the same stylist because the look is just bad, Ladies. Nothing but bad. And did someone say Penny was a hair stylist? Did she put in her own extensions…while blindfolded?  Minus 40.

When you think the picture can't get any worse, she opens her mouth.

Jacqueline Laurita confronts Penny about some horrible Tweets about little Nicholas. Penny's response, "I love autistic children. I taught autism." 

I taught autism? Can someone break out the Housewives to English translator on this one because I'm lost. Minus 33.

Then Melissa dives in and gets Penny to say that Teresa started the rumors about her cheating. This time, Penny says it in front of Teresa.

But at this point, can you believe anything that comes out of Penny's mouth? She's changed her story so many times, who can keep up?

And are you ready for the season finale?  After a full season of nothing but zen healing and therapeutic bonding, will it all be blown apart once again at a Kim D. event?

Check back in next week to find out whose left with their hair extensions intact on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

EPISODE TOTAL: -151! SEASON TOTAL: -624!

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I have watched this series from the beginning and I know one thing that is if Melissa thinks she can sing, she's nuts. She has no voice whatsoever.

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I might watch Caroline's show occasionally. But Theresa I will differently will not watch her new show. Nor any of the reruns that she appears in ,when I see her I change the channel. I have no use for people like her she is very devious. She should go to jail like anyone else that commits a I believe she knew every thing that was going with the money situation....She says ,she is being a good role model for those kids, God please help those children. They are already so out of control. Gia is so confused she doesn't know where to turn.

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Cudos to Joe g. for sticking up for his sis.Refreshing for a tired overdone theme. At this point, anything is better than "family feud." Do the producers think we weren't paying attention last year...or maybe penny and john forgot. I loved Zen stuff and happy endings, as a rule. They are all good parents (for the most part..."hot sauce on the tongue"possible exception

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@ Judith Mc Kenzie

Good parents????? Are you kidding. The only kids that seem somewhat normal and grounded are Kathy's kids and the son is becoming questionable. Jacqueline & Chris's boys are very sweet and adorable...thank goodness after that disaster Ashlee; but Teresa's kids are out of control, foul mouthed and are in desperate need of discipline. I feel sorry for their teachers!

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Cudos to Joe g. for sticking up for his sis.Refreshing for a tired overdone theme. At this point, anything is better than "family feud." Do the producers think we weren't paying attention last year...or maybe penny and john forgot. I loved Zen stuff and happy endings, as a rule. They are all good parents (for the most part..."hot sauce on the tongue"possible exception

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Oh yeah Honey, you blend.. No Doubt!

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If Melissa was the best that radio station could find, we are all in trouble. That was awful! She was not "singing" live...you could hear the mix. I was embarrassed for her. Why are those supposed top notch music industry men bothering with Melissa? Are they also attention hogs? I don't get it! Give someone with some talent a chance and let Melissa go home and get her toes sucked. Ewwww

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these people think whatever she wears is hot because she's a celebrity & slim.