The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Who's the Bigger Liar?

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey returns and "The Blonde Drops a Bombshell"…or did she? We break down the rumors and ridiculous set ups in THG's +/- recap!

The Biggest Tongue

The Housewives once again gave us bad singing and even worse fake meetings. It was hard to figure out which was more cringe worthy.

Let's start with Melissa Gorga's singing talent. Minus 50. Please God, I beg you, make all Housewives end their supposed musical careers.

Seriously. It's nothing but painful for both the audience and the professionals that Bravo pays to come in and critique them.

Once again Melissa says she's rusty. Seriously?!?

She has Justin Timberlake's manager coming to her home to hear her sing and she doesn't warm up before hand…or maybe bother to learn the song.  Minus another 50.

For two seasons we've heard, I'm rusty. I'm sick. My throat hurts. Can we just admit it? The girl can't sing.

But Joe Gorga is shocked when a vocal coach is suggested. Apparently love isn't only blind, it's deaf too.

On the up side Juicy Joe and Rosie have some bonding time and for reasons I can't explain their talking about fertility issues.

Juicy - Do I have eggs too?
Rosie - I'm not really good with medical things.

Plus 30 for this reenactment of Dumb and Dumber.  I needed a good laugh.

The heartwarming moment of the night goes to Jacqueline Laurita for overcoming her fear of speaking in public to talk about her son's autism. Plus 25. Although I sincerely hope there was more to that speech than what we heard.

Also kudos to Blk for sponsoring the charity event…that still doesn't mean I'm drinking muddy looking water no matter how you flavor it. Minus 10.

Kathy only got mildly screwed over by her fellow Housewives this week. I guess that's progress.

They make it to her cannoli event at Dylan's Candy Bar in the NYC. Too bad they're the last ones to arrive.

Plus 15 to Bravo for showing us Teresa Giudice sniping at her cousin behind the scenes.

All I can say is that I really would like a cannoli.

Caroline Manzo was barely visible yet again as a migraine kept her on the sofa for most of the episode. Maybe she heard Melissa singing.

Did you get a look at Lauren? That girl is looking good these days. How much longer do you think she'll keep Vito around?

But the worst set up of the night goes to the Gorgas.  We all know there isn't much reality in reality TV but couldn't they just say they were going to track down Penny instead of concocting a fake coincidental meeting at a restaurant?

Minus 33. That was seriously lame.

Perhaps not as lame as the rumored creative editing.  Word has it that Penny claims she was edited out of context and she never said that Teresa was behind the rumors of Melissa's cheating.

Hmm…so who do you think is telling the truth and who's the liar?

Will you tune in next week to see if we can figure it out?

EPISODE TOTAL -73! SEASON TOTAL: -473!

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I long for the chain smoking, cussing, wig wearing, blonde from ATLA, croaking out " Don't be Tardy for the Partaay".. Kim knew she couldn't sing, didn't waste anyone's time or money, didn't pretend to try.. Dissociative disorders, delusional behavior, violence and sociopathy is alive and breeding in Jersey Burbs.. Let's make no mistake, Melissa is a Media Whore.. She is not likeable or remotely talented so in the Teresa/ Melissa war, if I actually cared, I would be on team Teresa. At least Teresa has an actual work ethic and is creative.. Not many folks could make it as far as she did on Celebrity Apprentice and the Donald does not suffer fools...

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I am so o-v-e-r, the Real Housewives Franchise.. NJ is the worst.. Seriously, if these people paid attention to their own Children ( Jacqueline, Caroline) and their own families and interpersonal relationships( Melissa, Kathy, Caroline) and put this energy into business ( Joe, Joe, Chris, Albie, chubby non descript female Manzo offspring, Kathy's annoying Husband,whatever his name is) Then, maybe they wouldn't all be in the red.. Honestly, minus Millions? Again, morons and money are soon parted, (a-hem Teresa & Joe, Melissa & Joe..)

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Why do these people think they have any talents at all much less singing? It's bad enough Caroline's "boys" are copying off daddy's restaurant foods. Why are those meatballs so runny looking? If that place becomes popular, they can only thank daddy's chef at Brownstone and their chef for recreating. Again, these people have no talent and now they want a spin-off show. Why, so we can watch the daughter moop around with her doopy boyfriend following her around like a lost puppy. Please BRAVO, bring something good back to Sunday night TV.

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i love justin beebar

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