For disgraced NFL great O.J. Simpson, that's just how the cookie crumbles. When you get caught stealing them from the prison cafeteria, that is.
The Juice was caught with not one, not two, but a dozen oatmeal cookies pilfered from the correctional facility he calls home, a new report says.
Simpson, who's serving a 33-year sentence for armed robbery at Lovelock Correctional Center in Pershing County, Nev., ganked them after lunch.
He may have gotten away with his unusually non-violent offense but for an inquisitive guard who noticed O.J. hiding something under his prison clothes.
When the corrections officer questioned O.J., he allegedly confessed. For once.
"O.J. just stood there with a goofy grin on his face as the guard kept digging inside his shirt and throwing the cookies on the floor," a source reports.
Simpson's fellow inmates were reportedly on hand to witness guards bust him.
"When the guard started physically pulling cookies out of O.J.'s shirt, the other inmates started laughing so hard they nearly fell over," the insider said.
One can only assume that's true, as it's really the only possible reaction.
Simpson, 66, was arrested in 2007 for numerous felonies, including armed robbery and kidnapping, stemming from the armed theft of sports memorabilia.
He claimed it was his own and he was taking it back. A jury was unmoved.
Sentenced to 33 years, the Nevada Parole Board recently granted Juice parole on some of the charges, but ordered him held for the next four years.
Still, means he could be out in under 10 of the 33. Not terrible for a murderer.
This incident is not expected to impact his parole. O.J. was reportedly given a warning for the theft and instructed to keep his hand out of the cookie jar.
If the prison breaks out the funfetti cookies next, that could be tough.